You are here: Real Psychic Experiences :: Astral Projection / OBE / NDE :: I Think My Boyfriend Astrally Attacks Me In His Sleep

Real Psychic Experiences

I Think My Boyfriend Astrally Attacks Me In His Sleep


I have been seeing a man on and off for about nine months, during which he has stayed over roughly a dozen times (he lives out of town). He is an emotionally distant person, difficult to get close to though he occasionally opens up. An ex girlfriend apparently called him "emotionless".

The first time I had what felt like an out of body experience while sleeping next to him was different to the two times that came after. In this first episode, which happened immediately following the first time we had sex properly (though neither of us finished off), I found myself thrown up and down the bed while he (or his astral body) copulated ferociously on top of me with a look of demonic enjoyment on his face that certainly hadn't been there when we'd been properly awake in our physical bodies. Sometimes he was on me, sometimes off me, and I flashed fast between different positions on the bed before being overcome by a feeling of intense heaviness and tiredness and sinking down to the position where I really lay sleeping. I jerked fully awake in a panic and sat up. He was fast asleep beside me, face down. After some deep breaths I lay down and went back to sleep without further incident.

When we woke a few hours later he reported he'd slept badly and had a nightmare about a friend being killed in a road accident. I mentioned I felt I might have had an out of body experience, being careful to leave his involvement out of it, and his cynical, impatient reaction told me I'd have done better to say nothing (he's very open minded about most things but has no spiritual belief at all).

The two incidences since have been more frightening.

The second time was after we'd had a good evening together, getting on well and enjoying ourselves. It would have been the eighth or ninth time he stayed over. We went to sleep after having sex (again not to completion, I've had troubles in this department and he used to try and hold off until I'd gone first). As I fell asleep facing away from him I felt him put his arms around me. I smiled. Next thing I knew the arms were pulling me towards him really strongly, the hands pinching and grabbing hard at my flesh and then I was being shaken. In alarm I turned to see what on earth he was doing only to see him asleep with his back to me. I had a deep breath and lay down facing him. I must have turned over again at some point and the next thing I knew it was happening again. I opened my eyes and felt as if I was fully conscious as I pried the strong hands from me as they literally kneaded and pinched and shook me in a vicious manner. I sat up and turned to my boyfriend; I could see him asleep with his back to me still but I could also see the transparent dark grey arms coming from him so I tried to push them back into him. The harder I pushed them, the more they vibrated and shook. As they got smaller it became so as they weren't going back into him but were between my hands. As I strained to close my hands around whatever this was they became denser until they stopped being grey and became a ball of dimly glowing light, like a cigarette end but smooth. I squeezed it with all my might, just with one hand now, until it vanished as though I had crushed it out of existence.

I lay back down again. I felt safe to face away as I felt I had just killed whatever had been there. I remember wondering if it had been something from inside my boyfriend, something caused by my own projections towards him or something completely other which the sum of our simultaneous presences somehow manifested.

I said nothing at all to him in the morning, and he reported having slept reasonably well. The two times he stayed round after that passed without further incident.

A couple of nights ago he came round again at very short notice. I had been visiting my family over the weekend, which always distresses me, and had got back home only a few hours before his arrival. He was very depressed himself due to a horrible couple of weeks. In addition to being upset by my family I also made the mistake of drunkenly probing into his feelings and intentions to me, and didn't like his answers (apparently I'm just a "friend with benefits"). I ended up crying at him, pretending for the sake of my dignity that it was entirely because of my family. Though he'd said in the past that he hates girls crying he did quite a good job of comforting me. When we went to bed I ended up crying again while he tried to have sex with me, which he bore with patiently, then finally I calmed down and we were able to carry on. Though there was no way I was going to get anything from it in the state I was in I strongly encouraged him to finish rather than wait on me so he did.

[I know this isn't supposed to be a relationship-problems story, I'm just trying to provide context for the purposes of diagnosing what it could be about me / him / us that is creating these phenomena.]

Naturally he went straight to sleep afterwards but it took me longer. I did a couple of hours of drifting in and out of consciousness then got up to go to the toilet. I remember feeling despair and resentment towards him as I climbed back in beside him. It felt like there was a lot of distance, and like things would never be right. I tried to tell myself to stop being so negative, and that I was blowing things out of all proportion. I lay very close to him to get warm and to feel more positive but there was no sense of reciprocation as I drifted off.

After a while I became aware of the hands, the ones I thought I had crushed out of existence the last time. There wasn't much sense this time of them initially going round me; it was straight into the grabbing and pinching and shaking. Again and again I pried them off me. When I had gathered sufficient energy I sat and turned round to start the business of crushing them away again but they withdrew by themselves and I saw my so called boyfriend get up, quickly put his clothes on, take his phone in his hand and rapidly descend the ladder (my bed is in an attic above my bedroom). I could also see him still asleep beside me in the bed. I got up, presumably in my astral body or similar though I felt fully conscious. I was in the grip of extreme fear that I might end up killing him by trying to sort this all out and get back to normal.

I think it must have been this fear of somehow killing him that made me not look towards where he was in the room, though I could sense him over there with the bead of light inside, but instead go out of my bedroom door and into the hallway, shutting it behind me.

I should state here that I'm not sure whether I went further away than ever from what I'm used to at this point or whether I simply re-entered my physical body without waking and my experience seamlessly became a dream. It didn't feel like dreams usually feel, but at the same time I can't rule out it's having been one.

Once alone in the hallway everything was really solid looking, not like the slight psychedelic of the few other times I had astrally walked around near where I lay sleeping. However the ceiling was low and seemed to get lower, though you couldn't see it moving. All the time I could sense my boyfriend still in my room and it felt that something catastrophic would occur if I went back in. There was a flight of stairs continuing upwards from the top of the usual staircase, though it isn't there when I'm in my physical body. A man was descending from it who was snakelike in the feeling he gave you but had nothing in his eyes. I moved further out into the hallway. There was another man sitting on the floor, older than the first. I somehow had the idea that if I could crush these men down until their balls of light went out of existence then I could stop all this from happening without having to hurt my boyfriend. So I dragged the man from the stairs down to the floor and started to jump on his head while smashing the older man's head off the radiator on the wall. They simply bounced and seemed unaffected by what I was doing, as though they were nothing at all despite feeling physically solid. They certainly couldn't be condensed down to balls of light. I left them where they were. I was going to walk down the stairs to take myself further away from where my boyfriend was but before I could do it the most terrible fright came over me. I looked at the wall above the descending flight of stairs and very clearly thought: "This is what it must feel like to be schizophrenic". I think I fully realized at that moment that I wasn't properly awake because I had the thought that if I did wake up I would be schizophrenic for real. I stood with the terrors washing over me of either killing my boyfriend if I stayed in astral (?) land or of being clinically mad in front of him if I woke in the physical world. Then I did wake in my bed with a massive jolt of fright and a racing heart but luckily I was no less sane than I had been before. My boyfriend seemed deeply asleep.

In the morning I said nothing about any of it, of course. For the first time in ages we didn't cuddle at all but got straight up. He reported having "slept rough". Though he stayed for two cups of tea we didn't say a lot to each other and there was a feeling of distance between us as he left. I have spent the last two days feeling devastated not only by the fact that my relationship is obviously more rubbish than I had previously thought but also by the fact that ectoplasmic hands grab in an intentionally hurtful way from seemingly inside of the man I was falling in love with.

I slept in the same bed as both of my previous long term boyfriends many more times than I so far have with this man and I never experienced anything like this with either of them. Nor with any other person I have lain down and slept beside, whatever the context. Three times is too many to ignore and I just don't know what to think or do.

Medium experiences with similar titles

Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Morvern8, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Arroyn (2 stories) (12 posts)
11 years ago (2012-05-16)
I went through that with my ex. He sent a djinn as well. The people on here have been awesome helping me with this issue. You're probably seeing the truth in him. I had dreams about my ex when he and I were dating. I was in denial about who he really was and these dreams were warnings. I have dreams about him now and they are also warning me when he is about to show back up. So maybe you are seeing who he really is verses what he's portraying to you. Be alert and be open to truth. This will be better than getting into something that will psycically hold you down even after he has left.
PathR (4 stories) (1274 posts)
11 years ago (2012-04-19)
Morven8 I only hope that the information I write
Is inpart tapped into from a higher source and from experience.

You have an insightful intellect.
You seem to being doing this by sense and resonating.
Can I just say that with these two elements guiding
And working with you regardless if act or do not
Act with this man you will be ok.
And it seems that you inner knowing knows this.
Your aware your on a journey and taking the appropriate steps and your heart is willing to
Move forward.
Rogue (2 posts)
11 years ago (2012-04-18)
Oh, I did forget to mention, it may not necessarily be a psychic attack (if that is what it is) on you but on the person your partner is physically involved with. Bear that in mind.
Rogue (2 posts)
11 years ago (2012-04-18)
This could be psychic attack. I am currently going through a divorce and my ex husband has been very bitter about the whole thing. Few months ago, whilst I was asleep I had an out of body experience where I was being raped by a human like thing. Few weeks ago, it happened again only this time I refused to show any fear and the entity disappeared quicker than before. I went to see a psychic/spiritual person who had advise me that an entity (djinn) was attached to me. I described other symptoms, loss of weight, attract both sexes but no one pursues it although they are very much 'interested', loss of weight, occasionally unknown odours lingering around me and my biggest downfall was losing money on unnecessary things. I meditate a lot and occasionally whilst I am in a trance, my body jerks so badly, it feels like a whiplash! I am consulting with this spiritual person who has advised me to keep away from certain food (as this 'feeds' the djinn more) and I have been advised to wear/keep a prayer near me. These attacks may not have a significantly affect your physical day to day life, but emotionally & mentally it can be draining. It would be useful if you speak to someone in person who has had similar experiences as you. My advice is, do not fear it (although you seem as if you don't) Wish you well x
Morvern8 (1 stories) (3 posts)
11 years ago (2012-04-15)
Hmm, there's a lot of food for thought here. Thank you everyone for taking the time to comment.

RevSilverson: I only drink socially, usually just a moderate amount, and I don't take drugs. The night of the last incident was the first time I'd had a drink in over a fortnight, which is probably why it went to my head so much! Interesting point about the peppers and onions though; I eat lots of onions for my health and, as an enthusiast for spicy food, I do have the tendency to add fresh Scotch Bonnet chillis to pretty much every dinner I make. I've always felt myself to lack fire energy so I'm constantly doing things to try and raise it.
I have the Teresa Cheung book and will peruse it more often in the future.
You comment that my boyfriend is possibly causing my "energy to magnify emotional issues within" myself. This resonates a lot. Regardless of the state of his energy field, of course half of the culpability for all this lies with me. We are, after all, ultimately responsible for ourselves and our own states.

Chris59: That is a very interesting article, and I feel so sorry for that poor man! I can't imagine what he must have gone through. However, I feel that in my case it is definitely not what is happening. I am able to see my boyfriend asleep in the bed at the same time as all these things are occuring. If anything I'd say it's more likely I myself am suffering from some kind of sleep condition; I'm sure I must move about at least a bit while all this is going on. Who's to say that when I think I'm crushing some etheric / astral arms between my hands I'm not in reality strangling my boyfriend? I also had the sense during the last experience that I might accidentally do him some harm if I didn't astrally leave the room. You have given me quite an alarming insight into a potential outcome for this and I will strongly bear it in mind.

Eagleclaw: I wish what you say was true, but I have tried time and again to see auras while awake and have never managed (despite myopia causing me to be constantly in soft-focus, which you'd think would naturally predispose me to it). Nor have I ever managed to purposely astrally project. Every time I've felt myself to have left my body it has been due to extreme stress of some kind.
I think I may not have expressed myself very well if you think I wanted to use my (unintentional) abilities to harm my boyfriend. That absolutely isn't the case, it was more I had a strong fear I would end up harming him by mistake because I wasn't in complete control of what was going on. I had got rid of the hands the first time (so I thought) by crushing them to nothing; I was worried that I would somehow kill my boyfriend's astral body by trying to gain control over the experience and bring it to a halt. This is why I left the room rather than looking at where I felt him to be standing.
You make some very good points about vibrational frequencies. The fact of the matter is that I'm in control of my own vibrations, you're right. If I was able to keep my own frequency high, regardless of what was going on, then his wouldn't affect me to this degree and would maybe even become raised to match when in my presence.

kittycat6: Do you know much about entity attachments? If it is such a thing it would be great to know how to sort it out.

haunted-by-my-uncle: While the situation definitely manifests from the presence of my boyriend rather than from my house you're right; the more cleansed an environment, the more positive the vibrations all round.

PathR: You're certainly right that changing my own vibration would cause a change in my interractions with my boyfriend. However, since they could hardly be any worse I think that would be a good thing. I know I must do this for myself and let my relationship with him, such as it is, fall by the by.
It's very interesting that your answers read almost like poems. Is there a reason behind this? It feels as though the information is entering my psyche in a slightly different way because of it.

Thank you everybody. I feel I have learned a lot from this experience and all of your respective opinions on it. The upshot is, I feel, that as I have emotionally and vibrationally been lately I'm at least as bad for him / as much of a danger to him as he is for / to me. I have a lot of work to do on myself, regardless of whether I see him again of not. Nasty though the situation became it was obviously a timely pointer regarding myself and my own attitudes. There is much self-healing to be done:)
Eagleclaw (386 posts)
11 years ago (2012-04-15)
I agree with many of the posters about your situation. You also need to know that you have a keen ability to see others auras and have a very powerful ability to astral project. Now, here is the most important thing to keep in mind when doing these things. It's all about your mindset. Where are you mentally? Are you happy or sad? Whenever you attempt or begin to see auras you must immediately put yourself in a positive thinking mood. It's true. Negative thinking and actions attract negative vibrations, beings and entities. So, if you change your environment and thinking to a positive one these happenings will disappear. You may even attract the love of your life by using positive thoughts. Remember, you must love yourself first before you can love another. You need to let your boyfriend go. He only brings out the lower vibrations in you that is attracting lower vibrational entities. And, I fear that you may use this energy on a frequent basis to deal with situations. I've been there I understand how you may have wanted to use your abilities to harm him. But, in the end you will suffer as well. The energy that you send out always comes back to you. For now on whenever you feel hurt, angry or depressed just find something that makes you happy. Eat your favorite snack, listen to your favorite song, hug a tree (it works), hang around someone who makes you laugh, spray lavender scent in the air, take a sea salt bath, say a prayer from your religion and/or do some physical exercise.
When you are happy within you will attract positive entities. Just think of how many good things will be given to you with a positive attitude. The bottom line is this. You deserve someone who you can love and who he can love you back. Don't settle for less. There's an old saying, "One mans gold is another mans trash" Find someone who thinks you are golden. Take care and I wish you the best.
Chris59 (1 posts)
11 years ago (2012-04-14)
Morvern8, it could be that your partner really is attacking you while he is asleep, physically I mean. People do attack their partners in their sleep, sometimes fatally and a survivor might imagine that they had dreamed it or had a waking dream. Obviously this possibility needs to be checked out for your own safety. See for instance this story in the Guardian, It's common enough that a song about this sort of thing, called Pink Frost, was recorded about 30 years ago by a band in New Zealand, where I live:
RevSilverson (103 posts)
11 years ago (2012-04-14)
First of all I respectfully wonder how often and how much you drink. Drugs and alcohol and even peppers and onions can influence our dreams. But I am sensing there is something about this man that is causing you distress. I have worked with many people being attacked by incubii which are male negative energy entities who possess women sexually. Sometimes this is pleasant and sometimes it is not. It can cause feelings of madness.
However in your case you exercise control over the events happening in your OBE/lucid dream which is unusual as usually fear prevents any control whatsoever. So that brings me back to dream interpretation. Use the internet to discover dream component meanings. The book I use is the element encyclopedia of 20, 000 dreams by theresa cheung.
in closing, I still worry about this guy. I sense he is either subconsciously projecting his energy into you or causing your energy to magnify emotional issues within yourself. Stop seeing him.

Love and light... Always
kittykat6 (4 stories) (45 posts)
11 years ago (2012-04-14)
I do think that most likely something is attached to your boyfriend. However, there is a chance that he could actually be doing this and not realizing it. He might just think it is a dream. I think it is something else though.

I disagree with haunted-by-my-uncle. The boyfriend appears to be the one that is haunted, not the house, so I'm not sure how much good a blessing would do. Also, if he is possessed, you do not want to anger him with that. You would need a priest. I still don't think a blessing would help much, though.
haunted-by-my-uncle (1 stories) (3 posts)
11 years ago (2012-04-13)
if I was to give any kind of information I would have to say that with his glum additude a entity has attached its self to him and it is now attacking you as a result. I have no idea if it will work but if you still get these apperances of hands of men in your house then see if maybe your church priest (if you do go to church that is) can bless your house, or if you look it up you can do it yourself it is easy to get a hold of sage, but holy water? Don't think so but you can also bless your house by burning sage and reading a prayer then walking through your house saying you banish this entity from your home and your life. I have never done this myself but I have been told by a friend (who is a psychic) that this works unless this is a succubus/inccubus they are demons that feed off of sexual intercourses then seem to attack the living so
PathR (4 stories) (1274 posts)
11 years ago (2012-04-13)
Yes, but the catch/22 part: if we as a human resonate
We are vulnerable. This is something each individual
Would have to realign their own vibration.
Our Vibrations are like windows.
Such as Like attracks like! Which is one of the
Universal laws. Now there is an old saying that:
Men give love for sex and women give sex for love.
So can you imagine what it looks like to the lower
Vibrational entities?

Now you have your partner whom is open, because
He is closed emotionally, "He serves as an opening".
It is like the physical real is a reflection of the
Astral or lower realms.
You in your past have had an absent parent.
And it is a normal course for people of absent parents
To go with normal pattern. It is familar.
I do not say this to be unconstructive.
Because I have been there and done that, so this is not a judgement!

So just by you and he interacting there is an open
Door, since you have stated your boyfriend does not
Believe in psychic stuff. So hence you would be doing
All the work. And if you so choose that route.
I have to let you know that your vibration will eventually move in a different direction, and either
You or he will feel and have different reactions toward each other. That is what healing does raise and
Heal our body/mind/emotions.

A skilled healer whom works in Abstractions,
Can pull off a spirit attachment and can also close
It. Some healers are more skilled and can also
Do some energetic work to get the mind/emotions
Moving in the right direction. And it would be
Helpful if the individual whom is being treated by
The healer does meditation, also using positive
Affirmations to attract postive and love.

As individuals, we can work on ourself: counseling
To identify and close the holes (aka: pain, loneliness)
But as with all human beings we all need healing in
Some form or another.

Good journey.
Morvern8 (1 stories) (3 posts)
11 years ago (2012-04-12)
Thank you so much for these helpful answers. I did always think it wasn't necessarily him attacking me as such; I just had trouble devising a succinct enough title for my story during the edit.
Somebody I've consulted offline also mentioned about things attaching themselves to people. This person also lent me their copy of the Robert A. Monroe book, which is a nice coincidence.
I accept that this man is probably not the best person to be involved with. He is decent and well meaning though, and has never tried to pull the wool over my eyes. Does anybody know if there is a way to get rid of these things that attach themselves to people like him / me / situations like us?
PathR (4 stories) (1274 posts)
11 years ago (2012-04-12)
I Agree with AnneV. May I add that these things do not just happen. As a women I believe if we feel vulnerable and do not enter into a loving relationship. Some how these interactions show
Like a light to the universe.
It reflects on the physical and the dream scape plus
Areas of astral projection.
It seems to be: The law of attraction, when we
Stay. This not a remark of judgement!

I too in my younger days when single, had a spirit
Actually levitate me, and it was sexual.
I was not in a good place and did not have good
Self esteem. So I am speaking from experience.

Around this time I went to an acupuncturist.
He was raised in a metaphysical backround and was
Used to practicing astral projection.
From his prospective he was aware of interaction
Of astral sexual interactions.
So if his belief was correct and your boyfriend
Has no awareness, your best bet, "its not him"!
But as AnneV pointed out a lower entity.

The positive side is you are being honest and that
Is the beginning for a turning point to bring into
Light and love that you deserve.
AnneV (4 stories) (1064 posts) mod
11 years ago (2012-04-12)
First, those hands may or may not be his. With his attitude and such (depressed, aloof, unable to take relationships to the next level), a negative being (s) could easily have attached itself to him and be the one being aggressive with you. Low level emotions attract low level beings and their favorite thing to attach to is alcoholics, sexual encounters, depression, etc. Robert Monroe, the famed astral projector would leave his body and find sex piles of undeveloped humans. People don't change after they die and very often try and re-experience their base nature in the astral.

If you are allowing yourself to fall in love with an emotionless man that has been clear about his lack of deep interest in his relationship to you, then you're going to have to endure more of what you already have endured (as you said, crying and feeling devastated). One thing he has been though is honest. It's time for you to be honest and admit this is going nowhere but downhill. And if he's either this kind of base individual person while he sleeps, or is attracting such from other beings, be warned. These things don't happen to people with heightened energies.

This astral trend will continue and you yourself may have one of these start to attach yourself to you and then you could have this nightmare on the regular. You are going to do what you want to do but the sooner you extract yourself from this person, the sooner your life can return to a more balanced, loving and sane manner. Do what you will though. It's all about free will and living with our decisions. In the end, these things always come to a conclusion whether we consciously decide to be part of that decision or not.

Very interesting post. Thanks for sharing.

To publish a comment or vote, you need to be logged in (use the login form at the top of the page). If you don't have an account, sign up, it's free!

Search this site: