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Why Or If My Boyfriend Decided To End His Life


A little over 3 months ago I met the love of my life... Ro was and is the element that was missing from my life. We have so much in common that basically we're like twins basically joined at the hip. We shared so much love and joy However, my Ro did have a lot of emotional problems that he did share with me and I did my best to protect him. We had disagreements like any other couple. The night before he passed was a very stressful one. He had a lot on his mind evidently and drank way too much and became a little hysterical, and I did my best to calm him down. After a basically sleepless night, (I literally had to hold him down in bed so he wouldn't drink anymore), I was tired and cranky so I was a little short with him but not angry. I told him we needed to talk about some things and that when he got off work that evening, we could talk about it. The biggest regret of my life is that I did not hold him a kiss him like always when he left for work. I did not know that this would be the last time I would see my baby alive. Exactly An hour an a half later I had a awful gut feeling that something was off. Ro did not come home nor was answering his cell. Around 2 in the morning, I had fallen asleep and I heard his voice call my name. He always spoke French to me so I knew it was him. A day later he was found in a hotel room dead from sleeping pills and alcohol. I knew then that he had come home to say goodbye. My biggest question is was this an accident? Was it a call for help? I'm devastated that I will never know what happened.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, BrokenLightweaver, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

BrokenLightweaver (1 stories) (1 posts)
6 years ago (2018-10-27)
Thank you both for your concern and your support. I still struggling myself with the realization that my Ro was so much in pain that he felt this was the only way out... Therapy has helped me some. In many ways Ro is still here with me... I still fell his presence at times and have had some experiences with things is our apt being moved and such... Lights turn on and off sometimes... I know it's just his way of saying I'm here and I love you. I miss him with all my heart and soul... ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
MissCherokee (2 stories) (20 posts)
6 years ago (2018-10-21)
i agree with the comment from annev.i'm so sorry for your loss, especially through suicide. It is an awful thing left for the living to deal with. People in so much pain the only way out is death they become convinced. Alcohol plays a big, big part in suicide. Had he not been under the influence, he probably would not have taken those pills. We do not escape our unsolved problems through death. I have learned that. My cousin at age 23 shot herself in the chest in the kitchen of her mom and dad's house. No one had an idea that she was suicidal. Suicide victims can hide this plan very carefully and keep it for years before they decide to go through with it. I have learned that it is optimal and in our best interest to work and suffer our problems here while we are physical. Taking it with us, to the after life makes it harder to over come (because we have lost our bodies through death) to deal with such issues. I don't believe that people go to hell because they commit suicide. But they are trapped or bound up and must deal with that in the spirit world which I believe their spirit can over come what turmoil they left here and took with them there... We can progress in the spirit world. It just takes longer... Pray sincerely for your lost loved one. That helps tremendously. And keep those prayers up. I'm sure he is remorseful and feels sorry for leaving you in the state you are now in... Feeling guilty, etc,. I hope this helps you in some way.
AnneV (4 stories) (1064 posts) mod
6 years ago (2018-09-24)
I don't think this was an accident. You don't go to a hotel with enough sleeping pills to end your life 'by chance'. He had this planned.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

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