Me and my boyfriend have lived together for a year and been dating for a year and half; I've always know he's a dark and morally ambiguous person but this startled me.
He suffers from PTSD due to his experience in Basic training for the U.S army. More specifically due his father being murdererd while he was away.
After the funeral he was put in isolation at his base due to suicide suspicions and poor handling of his mental state.
I know he also suffered bullying as a child and his father was physically abusive to him and his mother before she left. Also His mother was arrested for drug charges and he had to live with his very controlling grandmother for the majority of his teenage life.
I've always know that due to all this he had poor communication skills and mental troubles.
But as a person whos also suffered from a lot of mental issues I didn't see it as a big issue because I really liked him.
We are very commited to one another to say the least. We go everywhere together and our fights don't last long even over serious moral issues.
Im pretty morally uptight you could say, he is a lot more grey.
Sometimes he tells me he is scared to tell me what\'s on his mind in case he scares me or dissapoints me.
However I've gathered over time that he has quite violent thoughts and impulses that he ignores.
Anyway, me and him where talking, I had been trying to get him to open up a bit more. Not prying but just nudging.
And he started talking about his feelings on negative experiences in his life and I felt something very strange coming off him.
(I have always been very sensitive and empathetic.)
His eyes seemed to become darker and sunken, his posture tensed and coiled inward, his voice became low, quiet, and angry.
He wasn't saying anything weird or wrong really he was just talking.
But I could see a dark evil energy clinging to his shoulders, and draining him.
I began to feel very woozy and heard a soft ringing in my ears.
He had to snap me out of it; and just like that it was as if nothing had even happened he was just him again. Normal.
I have no idea what to make of this and would appreciate some advice or insight on what I felt and saw.
I have a feeling this is an energy that he has to deal with every day, and I guess I'm worried.