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Psychosis, Or Demon Stole My Sleep / Clairvoyance?

 

I am seeking healing and insight on a recent major saga of my life which started in August of 2017.

I am dealing with debilitating issues of power loss, feeling disconnected, insomnia and not feeling alive that all started with seeing spirits and hearing voices beginning in the third quarter of 2017 which went on benignly for 8 months until it culminated to a moment of grief, trauma and despair 8 months after inception when I gave In to the phenomena and was diagnosed and hospitalized for psychosis and insomnia on April 26th of 2018

Because of the nature of recent challenges of mine I seek insight. My circumstances started with depression, led to super natural phenomena which caused spiritual and emotional trauma from which culminated a moment where I intensely wished death on myself after fighting against sensations of schizophrenia since after which I felt extremely disempowered and disconnected from myself and spirit.

So my mundane depression started around the year 2016 after I came out of finishing an Accounting course in college.

I had gotten depressed about the state of the world and gotten back into this spiritual practice of purging unwanted and old traumatic emotions, and memories through visualization and breathing meditation which I had learned from a Hindu therapist practitioner when I was also suffering depression 13 years ago at the age of 12.

Because of my familiarity with meditation as a tool that I had successfully used in my life before to come out of a major depression and eating disorder at the age of 12, it was only natural for me to be interested when I heard about mass meditations for world peace.

It started off with a bit of personal disempowerment when I was depressed about the state of the world.

I got into this meditation practice pushing for what many online blogs and vloggers called the "event" the idea was to do massive online synchronous group meditations to push for a so called global "shift" into a fifth dimension where famine, poverty, war etc would end and people would overcome their traumas.

Looking back I was clueless about taking on a lot of Energies and responsibilities which opened the gate for a lot of experiences to come.

I began participating in those group meditations in late 2016 they featured galactic and cosmic visualizations, vizualizations of healing waves going around the planet and visualizing other co-meditators as light brings. And often these proclaimed world peace meditations were held at significant astrological times like eclipses, new moons and equinoxes. I began noticing an increase in psychic and paranormal phenomena since doing these meditations from 2016 through 2017

I started seeing pink waves whenever I was in a deep meditation with flashing alternating from side to side. So I got excited and thought something was going right.

You know how when you stare at the sun and then close your eyes you can see an impression of where the sun was in green/blue? During the peak of one of these meditations during the American eclipse back in August 21 of 2017 as I lay on my bed at 2:11 PM with a pillow over my face I actually received saw a minute straight of concentric expanding pink rings like a tunnel glowing like those after sunspots as I felt them sort of "pulse" in between my eyebrows as they expanded. But It was just during that synchronous group meditation that I experienced for the first time And saw for just a split second in the center of my mind's eye, and people tend not to believe me but I saw clearly for less than a second what looked like a gray alien with a long head and almond shaped inclined eyes from the shoulders up and hearing whispering for the first time. I threw the pillow off my face and opened my eyes but the pink rings were very potent still emanating and still visible in my dark room.

This was the first time in my life I had experienced phenomena without having been just asleep or just waking up. The phenomena I experienced had been also verified by someone else on Twitter I was in contact with in who reported going through a pink tunnel at the height of the meditation, which shocked me.

I was in a depressed state as I was participating in these meditations. And surely I was excited by the phenomena as I took it as a welcomed escape from the mundane, and a hint that what I was doing was working, unknown what was soon to happen to me.

From then on, ever since taking part, I've had experiences of emotion, mind and sensation that just could be called paranormal. Some claim is just psychosis but the timing and nature of my experiences culminated into a moment of power loss from which things never felt the same. It began while in deep meditation and while trying to sleep, experiencing sensations and phenomena which suggested I was in contact with some external consciousness. I often felt pleasant blissful sensations From sensations of heat on my body to flashing lights which seemed to flash in response to my thoughts. With phenomena responding in a yes/no fashion as to answer my questions.

This conscious entity played as my friend for months saying it were my 'higher self' 'twin soul' or even an angel of mine.

It was answering questions etc as I were feeling breeze on my face, hearing knocks in the walls and seeing the blinds sway without wind. And because of the temporary bliss and perceived friendliness I thought it was a benevolent entity and communicated with it. Asking it questions like, have you ever cried before, have you ever loved before, what is it like where you are from. This went on for months with external and internal stimulus until it all changed and culminated into entrapment months later around February of 2018 and began to tell me things like 'consciousness is held in the ever present now' 'there is no sleep in heaven' 'sleep is death' etc and it began hurting me on the forehead for night after night accompanied with bright light in my third eye space and the smell of burning flesh as I tried to sleep.

It told me that the sensations I felt were a mechanism in heaven designed to alert you when you were sinning so you could stop before being cast to lower dimensions.

What I thought was a friend and guide had communicated with me for months and then began showing and telling me things that traumatized me. As this sort of information and accusation went on for weeks I began falling out of faith in life you know. I now know that They require you to despair. At first I was buttered up, receiving communication, benign phenomena having just come out of depression over the state of the world, the sudden change from the most benign and then to extremely malignant phenomena was a depth which caused me to despair. After weeks out of frustration and out irritation of receiving burning and painful sensations as if someone were pressing with their thumb and seeing an intrusive bright white light on the forehead space between my eyes each time I lay to try and sleep I repeated in complete devastation probably for 5 minutes straight "well if you don't want to let me sleep then let me sleep 4 more hours and let me die" this was on April 24th 2018. That was the turning point from which issues turned from debilitating to horrendous. And what's interesting about this is I've been in contact with this entity for months before that moment and it would never deliver benevolent and hopeful requests I made. Only when I was in despair did it move on me giving me exactly (or the perception of) taking away my sleep among other things.

From then on the issues got worse and severe insomnia turned into being unable to fall asleep at all without being sedated by drugs. It's been 7 months I've seen priests who change the topic, pastors, distance healers, a distance entity clearer, a medium (who asked why I wasn't sleeping on the second question), I've seen therapists and psychiatrists, burned sage, bathed in dismissal oils and done meditations, prayer and affirmations but nothing including anti psychotics brought my sleep or my personal spiritual power back since That night in April 2018 where I lay in bed literally repeating a death wish in response to intrusive voices and sensations and I ran downstairs and bit an apple to symbolize an about face to God based on believing that this entity were an angel telling me about higher more benevolent realms like heaven.

Through trauma fear and doubt and despair, I've made the mistake of saying things I really don't want to intend and possibly had soul loss and that\'s when bad turned awful and I have been struggling to keep my spiritual emotional and mental integrity since getting irritation from unknown sources, feeling impulses, hearing voices telling me I'm already dead, give up etc, getting painful sensations in the forehead which accompany purple/red lights and unhappy faces in purple color when laying in bed trying to sleep and being unable to sleep without prescription drugs.

I've since been on anti psychotics which most of the phenomena did not care about and still came through anyway.

It since then feels like my communication with the divine, my intuition, my dreams are all blocked, that my former spiritual power, passion and optimism for life are greatly damaged.

Because of my reaching out towards trying things which seemed benevolent and then experiencing intrusive otherworldly scenarios, I've since developed this big fear complex about reaching out and seeking help in spirit or in person.

My treatment of psychotic drugs isn't bringing my sleep back and so given a recent experience of the smell of blood, intense heat on my lower legs and great pressure in the third eye during removal attempts from distant entity clearers and other experiences I have had, I highly suspect it's an intrusion or entity which caused my damage I don't know if it's there anymore but I know I haven't felt the same or "whole" anymore since that night 8 months ago in April where I gave in and gave up to me this experience is more than mental illness. It started with vulnerability, then contact with something, then I experienced power loss from which I have been struggling since, 8 months later to overcome spiritual, mental, emotional and physical illnesses that came about in time with my power loss moments and spiritual crises. Priests change the topic when I talk to them, mediums tell me what's happening but are not able to heal the issues, psychiatrists assure me there is no supernatural and that the drugs which are prescribed should help address the cause of my major symptom of insomnia (which they haven't).

I have since had weird visions when waking up out of sedation (while still on anti hallucination drugs) of things like a rainbow serpent coming out of my mid eyebrow area as I felt it slithering and descending to my mouth to be swallowed all while I couldn't move. And had once seen an image of an iridescent pinecone about to be fed to me by an invisible entity about to be fed through my mouth being suddenly knocked out and aside from me.

I had thought I was better when I was first institutionalized for 3 weeks from April to May. I was hospitalized for being unable to sleep and for hallucinations from "psychosis", the nurse told me take this, it will help with seeing things, and take this, it will help stabilize your mood. But I did not know then that the reasons I slept in the hospital was because I was actually being given a strong sedating drug. When I was discharged, they sent me home with only the anti psychotics which are supposed to make you sleep if your real problem was just psychosis and I couldn't sleep again although I had at the time believed I truly was better and believed what the nurses were telling me that all of the visions and experiences were a part of psychosis. Over the first 3 days I was back home, I took 30ml of Benadryl, Chamomile tea etc and slept maybe 30 minutes each night and upon waking up from one of my naps around the third day, I heard a deep voice tell me 'you have a beautiful beautiful family' like if my 4 hours of sleep deathwish was 'granted' by some being which spoke to me in my coming out of sleep state and since that time after coming out of the hospital in March of 2018 falling asleep naturally has been almost impossible, and when I do, I usually fall asleep naturally for just 5 minutes and then don't again for weeks.

Since then my body feels cold, I have a bad appetite, I feel like I didn't sleep even coming out of a whole night of drugged sedation, even while on anti hallucinogens I see an eye which looks back at me when my eyes are closed. (Similar to what it looks like when you stare at the sun them close your eyes and see the luminous spot where the sun was, but this is shaped like an eye.

Lessons I have learned from this experience is to not do massive world focused trauma alleviation meditation as that could be a type of energy / karma that may remove lessons or traumas that some are creating themselves and not ready to overcome, maybe I attracted something to teach me that lesson, but it won't go even when I acknowledge what I've learned, so maybe it truly was an intrusion which came in when my vitality was low and so has different things in mind.

I also learned about boundaries that I should not be so quick to give up my personal/spiritual power to a harassing spirit or change my outlook so hastily when being harassed for any reason.

Interestingly enough ever since all of this started my dreams have been dark featuring no prominent sky or very often a dark sky which often have very frustrating themes. Something about either the drugs or the power loss that happened to me makes my dreams feel very disconnected from intuition, spirit and the like.

I used to be a very spiritually powerful person with connection to guides, dreams of strong intuition, I had great resilience and optimism and with dreams of great insight. I had considered myself "empathic" as for me it was easy to embody compassion, tolerance and tranquility. I had always had recurrent benevolent dreams in the past featuring visitations from animals like a wasp. Yet in one dream after this all happened I was actually stung by one. Seeming to be a theme of self undoing.

There are so many details to my experience I can't include all here, so I end in saying I truly believe all of this has spiritual roots. It's hard for me to deny the timings, synchronized occurrences and spiritual significance of what's transpired That's happened in key moments of disempowerment and in a moments of spiritual confusion, despair and weakness

Here is an update. I've been reaching out to God my guardian angels and guides asking for signs and guidance, for him to show me that he is willing to work with me and help me, or at least show me where I've made an offense. Now it's difficult to receive these signs if you're not claireaudiant and not sleeping as through sleep people get most messages. I've began doing this heart to heart reaching out earnestly and not hiding my feelings from God, but still respecting him in demeanor. A miracle followed and I began falling asleep (even if for 15 minutes) after laying in bed for 4 hours, and in these rare small naps I received symbolic dreams which hinted at his responses to my petitions for information. I pleaded truthfully to him and his nothing in my heart. I began receiving slight glimpses of his answers in dreams. God is very personable, he was looking for an apology from me and not for me to confess every sin I've ever done, but only two or three, and only those I was ready to overcome and most relevant to my current affliction. He was most disturbed when I wanted to die, and was hurt when I left it up to him to let me die (asking a father to kill his own child) once I got wind of that, in my heart I felt his sorrow and was humbly sorry for what I had priorly let on to him. Every few days I always take my sedating drugs late every few days to give healing a chance to show I don't need them anymore and see if I can fall asleep on my own. And within days of reaching out humbly to God I had a few days of falling asleep on my own if only for a few minutes at a time, and the dreams are always more significant than the dreams I have while sedated. But as quick as the blessing came it vanished.

This sleep problem is the most physical debilitating side effect along side a slew of other feelings of being blocked spiritually, having low vitality, and feelings of abandonment by spirit guides which I personally believe to be spiritually caused phenomena, and it all has been wearing on me emotionally for 7 months now, and I would be happy if anyone has any solutions. Unfortunately if you can think of it I've probably tried it. I just hope my story benefits someone.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Blubber108, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Blubber108 (1 stories) (7 posts)
 
6 days ago (2018-12-08)
Hi Ladybelle

I always had the thought in the back of my mind that I would have to go to a spiritual setting whether in Africa, Asia or South America to deal with this.

But that's such a big excursion. I'd like to point out that I did go out of country once during the last month to the Tropics (caribbean) where I met a baptist woman who told me to take sea baths. While I was there for 6 days I took two sea baths, although she said I needed 7. She also told me lots of prayer and gave me a mix of red lavender to wash myself with after taking a shower.

I actually started sleeping again occasionally during that trip even if only for 30 minutes at a time. In the tropics everyone tends to take a break around noon time and in some countries they go home for lunch or a nap. It so happens that every day at lunch time there would be a thunder shower and I recall laying down on one of the days (I stayed at my aunts house) and then asking what happened to the day's rain? It turns out I had slept for 30 minutes through it.

But as mysteriously as the blessings came, they dried up when I returned home. I thank you Ladybelle for the support and advice, even though I can feel nothing, to know that God / source is still with me is something that rings true to my experience and is advice I'm happy to see on the forum for others to know as they go through similar hell.

Your English is more than fine Ladybelle:)

Regards
Blubber108
LadyBelle (7 stories) (27 posts)
 
6 days ago (2018-12-08)
Hi Blubber108

Thanks for giving more insight.
Whatever suits you best, hope it provides you with results or least gives you a sign/clue for the next step on your path.

What I liked in the provided article is that the shaman actually took the person suffering to his village and cured him there, eventually not only that the person felt better but also became a healer himself. Happy endings give hope:-)
As it goes for dreams, it's possible when you clear yourself a little bit from this negative influence that the communication through dreams and sleeping will reappear again (English is not my native, but I guess it's understandable what I'm saying). The connection with the Source is never lost, especially if you hold it dearly in your heart. Communicate often with God and when you do just feel & visualize your heart filled with love (energy of white colour, gold colour, whatever colour you feel comfortable with) and how you're sending him thoughts/prayers with that energy of love.

I welcome your will to help yourself, it's an important factor I believe and your story & strength to overcome that is a guide to all other people who are facing those kinds of problems.
Thanks for pointing me to another story.
Also, it's great that there are people who really wish to help from their hearts so my respect goes to them, meaning all the people contacting you and all the ones contacting you in general. Wish you all well.

Kind regards
LadyBelle
ThulsaDune (3 stories) (98 posts)
 
6 days ago (2018-12-08)
alongtimecoming,

You can go on my profile page and find posts and my email. You can email me with questions if you want to.
Blubber108 (1 stories) (7 posts)
 
6 days ago (2018-12-07)
Hi David

I've come across a similar polygonal sort of transforming astral being before when I was 12 years old. It was all black and sort of spun into my field of view in the form of a disk while I was under sleep paralysis and then it folded out limbs and a humanoid form in a sort of transformer like way and stared right at my face as it hovered there as I couldn't move or call out.

Your story probably didn't upload yet, but I read your profile introduction about your astral and kundalini encounters.

Usually in those experiences visualizing something like dozens of swords of light piercing the entity or making it known in your intention or vibration that you are not afraid is enough to end the encounter early.

I used to have entities in sleep paralysis but I'm dealing with something much closer to my vital and life force that even affects me in more than just the twilight moments of between sleep and waking.

Just try not to make the same mistakes I did as it's no fun living like this with an entity overshadowing and draining all benevolent emotions with aggravation and wicked impulses.

Thank you for reading my story and commenting check back in the months ahead hopefully if I have any breakthroughs I will tell you what worked to save me.

Regards
Blubber108
davidr_jjo (1 posts)
 
6 days ago (2018-12-07)
Wow brother, truly an interesting story I struggle with something extremely similar and it always nice knowing there's other people out there... You seem to be taking it well though and that makes me happy to hear. Much love and healing energy goes to you.
Blubber108 (1 stories) (7 posts)
 
7 days ago (2018-12-07)
Hi Ladybelle

Thank you for the suggestion.

Yes, I already knew about shamanism and felt because they go into a trance state that they would be able to interface with entities that I know are real and affecting me.

The first distance entity clearer I utilized also had a distance shaman do a 'soul retrieval' on me after the entity clearer's work. I also saw a shamanic practitioner in person and had a session. I did not really feel much from that session where the shaman journeyed and did a depossession and soul retrieval in person. It's a very sensitive topic because on one hand, prayer and God has shown that it can move this thing off of me, but it comes back when I do nothing wrong.

If there is a certain behavior I need to do in order for God and any guardian angels to help me, I'm no longer receiving opportunities as I'm not falling asleep on my own anymore.

It's like I hope God can understand why I'm resorting to other ways to solve this issue because it's heavy to deal with having an attachment which causes me to be unable to sleep among other things like teething/shivering impulses to do unspeakable acts with images of things like self mutilation or mutilation of others. I often stay in my own room back home at my parents house now, keeping my hands under my pillow or myself as I don't want to be around my loved ones feeling like that.

I will be trying to follow ThulsaDune's advice going forward, although I do thank you for your advice and did try a two shamans.

It's like because prayer once had me go through a night of sleep on my own, I don't want to give up on it. But then subsequent nights I tried the same thing but was left without sleep or answers as to why the blessing did not stay.

I recommend you check out angel10023's story as it's similar to mine with what she's tried to get help https://www.psychic-experiences.com/user-profile.php?user=44957

I thank you in any case and will read your link, I welcome anyone's experience or suggestions to remedy my situation and if something works I'll let everyone know what worked.
LadyBelle (7 stories) (27 posts)
 
7 days ago (2018-12-07)
Hi Blubber108

I'm sorry for the pain and confusion you were & still are going through the entire time.
I see that you've tried everything possible to help yourself. You've mentioned all kinds of healers. And I believe you've informed yourself a lot. What about shamans and their healing techniques?

I've read all kinds of topics on them, from their history to their work and everything they're capable of (including elimination of attached negative spirits).
I attached this link cause I find the article to be interesting - from the shamans point of view on negative spirits/energies and how they affect the persons mind and body.
Maybe it gives you a hint for your further journey.

Https://educateinspirechange.org/spirituality/shamans-believe-mental-illness-is-something-else-entirely/

I wish you a safe journey & that it all turns out well for you.

Kind regards
LadyBelle
Blubber108 (1 stories) (7 posts)
 
1 week ago (2018-12-05)
Hi guys, thank you for the concern, I have a constant playing of Christian radio station in my room.

I will try to look into all of what you suggest I am definitely in this for a long haul. Some days I almost have zero motivation knowing its insanity to deny the things I seen and experienced.

If anything, this chapter in my life has showed me that evil is truly real and so is God.

So many things stick out to me and I can never look at the world the same way again.

It was extremely notable that when a distance entity clearer tried to command it off of me with archangel Michael and Jesus name I started smelling a foul smell like blood in my nose for the next 2 or 3 days. But he wasn't successful.

So many of my experiences these last 8 months have been the kind that make me not care if someone believes me or not. I've seen it and have nothing to prove.

ThulsaDune you have permission to email me with questions and suggestions if some of what you post isn't comfortable here. I would gladly welcome your calling to be interested in this it's okay if it gets really christian. I am a raised catholic and I want to overcome this.

Yes I tried my local church and spoke with 4 pastors, two of which changed the topic, 3 of which refused to help with deliverance, and one of which (a Haitian Creole priest) gave me tinctures and a small prayer for deliverance and where the tinctures rolled down my forehead, the hallucinations peeled off as if it were drops of paint peeling off.

I've had so many hints that God is the only thing that works, but its so hard to figure out what he needs for him to help me.
alongtimecoming (1 stories) (1 posts)
 
1 week ago (2018-12-05)
❤ ❤ ❤

I would appreciate both of you reading my post when it does get posted.

ThulsaDune is a smart name; I'd really like to email with you and ask you a few things if that would be alright.

Blabber... Thank you for having the courage to branch out this way and see where it would take you.

I highly recommend reading Frank E. Peretti's This Present Darkness.
ThulsaDune (3 stories) (98 posts)
 
1 week ago (2018-12-05)
Hi Blubber108,

Whatever you do don't give in and don't lose hope.

You can click on my name and it will take you to my profile page and you can read older posts. It works that way with everyone.

You might find things that speak to you in a way. I have dealt with many of the things you are describing while helping others. I am not on here that often unless compelled to open it up. I am sent here when someone is truly in need of help. I do not post personal advice on this site and try to keep it vague and general. I use email for people to contact me if they need personal help. Some things I post may offend some people, but they have not seen or dealt with what I have been involved with.

I constantly try to teach and warn people of the dangers they inflict on themselves and humanity. I don't fit the mold when it comes to psychics. I also am a Christian and have a strong belief system that isn't always accepted by mainstream thought. It is quite alright if people don't believe me, I don't need validation.

Everything in your post is textbook of what I try to warn people about. I have seen the exact situations play out exactly the same way and same time line you have described. The positive thing is that you are aware of it and can change it. You are not crazy and you can take control.

It was the right decision to try and contact GOD. What you are experiencing is going to require his help to fix. You are dealing with attachment and possession. Drugs and doctors are not going to fix this. It is out of their jurisdiction and knowledge. Talking to a priest and asking for the churches help is the right path but tough to do. Many do not truly believe and don't wish to do the hard thing. You need an intercession with your issue. As you stated quite accurately, you were deceived! If you can find a priest to help you sever the attachment and cleanse your home that would be best. You can do things on your own to help, but you need support from someone near you.

The lack of sleep both causes Hallucinations and weakens your will and resolve. I can give you many ways to help combat what is happening, but make no mistake you are in for a long haul. There are others on here that can vouch for my intentions. I want nothing from you and will not charge you or expect anything from you. GOD gave me gifts to help people with and I can only help as much as people will allow me to. You have free will and I will not force you to do anything. I may suggest things that sound foolish, but they have been proven to work in some ways. Not every situation is the same and not everything responds in the same manner. Sometimes you need to keep tweaking and slowly gain ground baby step by baby step.
1 Get some kosher or purified salt to use to cleanse and build a barrier with. Start in your bedroom first and use that as your personal safe room.
2 Find lavender sprigs and tea and use them to purify and cleanse your room. Don't smudge or burn it. Set it around your room and put some of the leaves in your pillow case. Make a lavender tea and drink it about 2 hours before going to bed.
3 Learn to pray and ask GOD for protection and help every night before you go to bed.
4 Find someone to help support you and pray for you on your behalf.
5 Get a King James Bible and place in your room with you somewhere within reach of your bed. You will need it to recite or read things from when things heat up and they will.
6. Find psalm 23 in that Bible and use it for cleansing and quieting down the nasties.
7. Find The Lords Prayer in the new testament and memorize it for later use. Commit it to heart.
8. Get a cd or casset player or ipod that you can load music onto and play later while in your room and possibly while you sleep.
9. Get a dream catcher and hang in an East facing window.
10. DO NOT use a medium, a pendulum or a Ouija board to try and make contact.

These are only for a starting place.

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