Sunday, May 27, 2012
A lot has been changing for me lately. I'm having moments where I can see the inside of my body from an outside point of view. I feel like I need to disconnect from the old and usher in the new. I've been thinking a lot about needing to disconnect from my family because they somehow take me back to a place I feel like I should no longer be. A place that is not going to do me any good. I basically feel like I am moving on, not to death but to a whole range of new experiences that I never thought I could have. I was meditating two nights ago and I could see my sister and myself in my field of vision. It was very vague and suddenly I heard her say my name in a questioning and intimate tone. As soon as I started to try to focus on the sound of her voice it disappeared.
I was over at my Dads neighbors with my Dad for some drinks when I started to think about how maybe it was time to let him go from my life. I felt something like the loss you feel when you are moving away from friends and family. I could actually see some sort of ethereal distance growing between us. It also felt like my spine was being stretched in my lower back when all of a sudden, during the most intense part of the experience, the power to the house we were at and the power at my Dads house and the one between them flickered and went out. I've heard of this before and had it happen on a small scale before, but this was just amazing. Also, I felt extremely empty after the power went out and went to go lie down back at my Dads. I started to focus on emptiness and ended up vibrating to the point where I was shaking so bad I could barely walk. I was not drunk enough at this point for it to have been because of the alcohol. I had only had three drinks. My balance was also perfectly fine because I tested it and could stand on one foot in a yoga pose perfectly fine. Also that night I remembered a dream I had before I moved out of my Dads.
I was in my room when all of a sudden a strong wind started to blow. The wind was blowing so strongly that it was changing the pressure inside the house and it made it impossible to breathe. I didn't want to close the window because I thought the glass would break. The trees and houses outside my window were all destroyed by the force of the wind. It was so intense that they practically disintegrated and the pieces came flying toward me. I had the most intense feeling of fear. I thought for sure my whole life was going to have to end this way. Unlike some of my other dreams, I chose to fight the wind and woke up saying in a calm, authoritative voice "No, I am not going to die like this.". I awoke with a sense that I had to get out of there to escape the wind. A few months later I moved out on my own for the first time. I had forgotten about that dream for several years until then. Strange and beautiful how those things work.
Some More Details:
I feel distinctively "green" lately. Someone I know told me that my Aura is emitting a very strong green and I know what they meant, though I don't usually see auras. Especially not when I am trying to. Also today I found a page about the signs and symptoms of healing energies on the Chakras. I realized that I am practically going through all of those symptoms at once.
Please Bear With Me For One More Moment:
I would appreciate comments and suggestions. But please do not baby me or talk down to me. Also, do not just make stuff up. Because lately I can tell when something isn't true even moments before I receive the information (crazy as that may sound). Also, please stay on topic. If you have your own story to share, then please submit it separately, unless of course it is related to the experiences.
Thank you for reading. I look forward to your feedback.