Tired Of Running

My abilities first became known to me when I was roughly 8-years-old when our neighbors dog had escaped the home and went missing. I had a dream a few nights after the dog had initially disappeared, picturing her in a sinkhole near the lake in the woods.

At that age, I never thought anything of it when I decided to act upon my dream and I fortunately found the neighbors dog in time to save her leg which she had broken in the fall. My mother asked me how I knew where to find her, but she didn't believe me when I told her I dreamt of it.

It wasn't long after that I started experiencing cases of déjà vu on a routine basis. Things that I had been dreaming were all of sudden coming true all around me.

When I dreamt of my grandfather's passing, who appeared in excellent health at the time, and he suddenly died of a heart attack in the driveway. I started to beg and plead with my mother to make the dreams stop. She dismissed it as an overactive imagination or kind of guilt response.

The dreams did subside for awhile, until I reached high school. I had been taking an afternoon nap, dreaming of my high school sweetheart when the phone rang. It was her. She asked what I was doing and I told her I just had a dream of her by a local river, feeding the geese on the bank. I suddenly became curious when she started asking me specifics of the dream; what she was wearing, how her hair was done, whose vehicle she had taken.

After giving her all the details of the dream, I thought she was humoring me when she said 'unbelievable'. I had pegged every one of her questions on the nose.

Not too long after that, I had another dream of her while she was driving. Again, when I told her of the dream she began to inquire and I again was able to describe the event in detail.

Again, I grew confused or scared. It was like I was 8-years-old all over again. Although the dreams weren't bad, the very idea of being able to see things from a distance while sleeping seemed somewhat 'unnatural'.

So I did the only thing I could think of, if I found myself starting to dream, I would wake myself up. Over time, this became a habit and the dreams just stopped coming. Until a few months ago.

I had a dream about my brother-in-law, laying in a hospital bed and his heart monitor had flatlined. I did not tell my wife. I did not tell a soul. I thought, it's been so long, there's no way it is back.

Then in mid-June we received a phone call that he had been admitted to the hospital. I grew nervous, but remained quiet. I didn't want to create panic or doubt. But a couple of days went by and his condition was improving, he was sitting up in bed and eating regular meals. He was about to be dismissed from the hospital when he unexpectantly slipped into a coma due to cancerous tumors on his spine.

I couldn't hold it in any longer, so I told the one person I thought would understand. My wife. I told her about the dream, I told her I didn't think her brother was going to make it. It was just a day or two after he went into the coma, they tried to shrink the tumors down with radiation and chemotherapy. But by destroying his immune system, he contracted an infection in his brain which caused it swell and the doctors gave him no chance of recovery. He died a day later.

Now, again, just last night -- I dreamt of her aunt. Her face it appeared as though she had experienced a stroke. I'm unsure of what to do. I don't want my wife to freak out.

I am tired of running from this, whatever it is. The dreams seem to be happening again on a regular basis. I'm experiencing moments of deja vu again. I feel that whatever this is, it's just ramping up again. But I am tired of running from it. I'm willing to accept that this is what I am supposed to be, or I am supposed to do.

But I do not want to live in fear of it. If I am to accept it, I want to be able to manage it and cope with it. I want to be able to explain things to people without them treating it like a plague, a game or a party trick.

So, I guess the first step in my journey is just understanding what it is first of all. Are we talking out-of-body experiences? Remote viewing? And why do I only get these 'visions' while I'm sleeping? Can I tap into this ability while I'm awake?

What is the next step for me? I feel ready. Am I ready?