My name is Courtney and I am 15 years old. I am a very mature, quiet-natured, seemingly normal person. However, I have always felt so different from everyone around me. I love my family so much and I enjoy being with them, but I do not feel connected to them, or "at home." I am not a sad, lonely girl; I have a family that I love, friends that I laugh and have fun with, but I always feel like there is more out there for me.
I was quiet when I was a toddler, when I was a kid, and still am as a teenager. I'm not shy though, I just like to sit and observe things. I watch the way people act, how they communicate, why they always seem to make things complicated, and I just wonder to myself, "Why are people so obnoxious? Why are they so cruel to others and place such importance on insignificant matters of life?" Learning about history, about how humanity has done such awful things, makes me so sad. I honestly do not understand how people can be so mean to others, whether its 100s of years ago or in present day. It does not make sense.
I know I am different. I feel it, and it seems strangers do too. When I go anywhere; the mall, grocery store, the library, people look at me differently. I do not know if I can explain this right, but people just seem to watch me. People seem to have a natural instinct to trust me, confide in me. I just feel like I am on some other level and others can see it yet they don't know it. I feel alone sometimes.
I have a history with different psychic abilities: Dreams that come true, other-worldly dreams, computers and tvs going haywire according to my emotions, extreme deja-vu, sensing other's emotions or what they're about to say or do. Deja-vu affects me the most because it happens so often, so severely. Simple things, like passing by an open field, lakes, old (really old) antiques, many little things, give me the strangest feeling. Sometimes I feel sad almost, like I miss and long for something that I do not even really remember. Past life maybe?
Other-worldly dreams; I have such intense, vivid dreams very often. At least once a week. I could never explain all of them here, but I honestly feel like I am traveling to other worlds. Sometimes there is a cord attached to me somehow, and I just float for a while until I am at some other place. I am so sad when I wake up sometimes, even when I do not remember what exactly happened, I just know I felt more "at home."
I have this friend that I just met within the past two years. She is my best friend, and we have a special connection. It's almost like we share the same thoughts, have the same experiences. The deja-vu, feeling different from everyone else, everything is the same between us. She was born one day after me, she has just moved here from another country about two months before we met. It's like we were meant to meet. After talking about all of this, we have both done so much research about it, but we never find anything. We feel like we are not completely human, that our souls are not of this world. We like to think there are others out there, that maybe there is a mini population of people like us. Star people maybe? I've read a little about them, and have been told by more than one professional psychic that I am a crystal child. Fallen angels? I don't know if those are real, it sounds crazy to me, but I am willing to learn about anything.
I feel like there is so much more to say, I have so many strange, unexplainable experiences, but this is the best I could sum it up. I just feel different, I feel like I have a purpose. And I would really like to learn more because I do not think I can just live a normal life. Maybe I am crazy, maybe I'm not, but I just want to know.