Completely Confused With My Abilities

I am completely confused about what abilities, I have these days. I was always different as a kid. I had visions about the past or future sometimes. I was even able to control the weather and sometimes when I was in middle school unwittingly-other people. I once got angry and cursed not meaning it but it really happened not five minutes later. I got guarded after that and have not been able to find my actual talent since.

I have been able to see energy spots and orbs and also aura around people and even read their characters. I got fooled by a really cunning mentally disturbed woman once who might have been stronger than I was and it completely shook my confidence. She played me royally for two years before I realized what she was doing. My judgment had never been so clouded before. I think she might have manipulated me psychically somehow because she became my best friends and got close to my friends but no one ever suspected what she was doing. Her lies and madness made me ruin two of the most important schooling years of my life.

Apart from reading other people, I have had recurring deja vu's and being psychic runs in my family. I am too scared to find out my actual talents (I definitely know I have them) because I might hurt myself or others. I also have no sources on how to begin to find myself. I have a tried a few random psychic tests which have definitely given results. But I want to find something concrete to go on to help me find out how much I can achieve by using my abilities. I also have premonitions and feelings when bad stuff is about to happen.

Also, I may be able to see ghosts but I have firmly shut my mind against such energy because I am completely, absolutely scared of them. I fact when I started realizing that I may be able to sense them I became so completely guarded I stunted my psychic growth. I am completely scared of being alone, especially in the dark. I also can't close my eyes for too long because i'm scared of what i'll see. Help! ' can't go on like this. I need some concrete answers and advice...