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Seeking Guidance: Empathic Abilities Gone For Years


Until recently, I haven't much thought about my lost gift, but would like to explore the possibility of experiencing it again.

Quick Run Down:

When I was 13, I recognized that some of the things I was experiencing were out of the ordinary, but couldn't put my finger on on a name for it. Honestly, it was a REALLY hard time for me. I was just trying to get a grasp on my own adolescent emotions, which was terribly difficult while wrestling with all of the external stimuli occurring around me that I didn't understand. Shortly after, I made some bad decisions and started doing hard drugs to cope with my situation. At 13, I was doing an absurd amount of LSD. After about 9 months of this, there were terrible side effects including a chemical imbalance, OCD tendencies, and frequent panic attacks. My instability combined with my lack of understanding of my empathic gift made this incapacitating. I was diagnosed and medicated for this and rather quickly rectified this situation. Still not understanding what was happening to me and having only the guidance of a very traditional counselor, I was made to believe that I still needed to be medicated and had social anxiety.

To be clear, I was aware that it was MUCH more than just social anxiety. However, I was only 14, it was 1996, and I didn't readily have access to the internet. I could sense where people were without seeing them and before entering rooms, pick up on people's emotional states, and anticipate when someone had something urgent occurring, regardless of whether I could see them. It could be anything from them wanting to raise their hand in class, urgently needing to go to the bathroom, being upset about a situation, etc. I tried hard really hard to keep to myself and avoid eye contact with people, which seemed to help a bit.

Through high school, I started to learn to control and shield myself from my gift. It wasn't until my junior year that I could really enjoy it. I still had to reduce eye contact when walking down hall ways and entering large rooms, but was able to really enjoy interacting with those that I had grown to be comfortable spending time with. Friends started coming to me and the emotional stability of those within the latter years of high school were FAR more stable than the younger junior high years. Instead of being surrounded mostly by insecure and fragile individuals, I was surrounded by happy sexually charged teenagers. I know that sounds funny, but I can't explain to you how predominant and clear that became. Lol. Its SO strange knowing you're being sized up by someone and catching yourself react to it before you even know who it is. Or picking up on it happening all around me, in pertinence to others, as we all scurried between classes. Pinpointing emotional direction and categorizing what I was sensing became much easier. I became very proficient at helping people and recognizing when it was appropriate, which can be REALLY important to learn when you're inadvertently snooping through people's emotional states. Lol

In 2003 I met my wife and we were crazy in love. Not terribly relevant to the story, but it definitely made me more focused and aimed towards being a successful and steady individual. By then, the affects of my gift felt fairly tame in relation to the past. Perhaps I just had them well aimed and controlled. There's so many things taken for granted after that long. Reacting to things before they happen and sizing up the emotional states of individuals becomes as natural as noticing their clothing or if they got a new hair cut. Its not always that way. Big gatherings and busy grocery stores were always tough. Avoid eye contact and stay focused Lol. Doing things at night when there are less people definitely makes a difference.

Then, in January of 2005, I started to get a different feeling from my mom. Things seemed muddled and I had trouble reading her, so I'd find myself asking her how she was. She would just reassure me that she was tired. It was puzzling to me. I'd never experienced anything quite like it. So, I started coming around more and stopping by the house to check on her. I would sit down and visit with her and see if there was anything I could do to help. I didn't really know what else to do and it didn't get better. At the end of January, I got a phone call telling me that she had driven to work in a blouse and her slip and was acting very strange. They brought her to the hospital and ran a series of tests on her. In doing so, they found that she had an "Astrocytoma" in her brain. Its a tumor that looks like one of those "velcro-like burrs" you get on your sock and all those little spiky things grow outwards through the brain. They told me she might have a week to live.

I was devastated and soon as I ended the call, I had a complete and utter emotional breakdown. It absolutely filled me to the top. I've never been a big fan of hospitals, but had my wife take me there immediately. As I strode through the halls, I had no room for anyone else's emotions and felt nothing but my own grief, concern, and fears. When I got there, she didn't recognize me and I couldn't sense her emotional state at all. Little did I know that this wasn't a short term situation. I spent as much time with her as I could and she passed two days later. I don't know if anyone has ever been in charge of a funeral or had the difficult task of sorting out the remnants of someone's life, but there's not much room or time for grieving. I had to be tough and work with family to make sure things were quickly and properly addressed.

Oh. Quick story segway. The moment my mom passed, my wife was in the bath. She had two voices come greet her. One of them was clearly my mother. The other was another voice that was talking in an extremely familiar way with my mom, kind of bossing her about, and was using fairly southern expressions with some borderline vulgar words. They had a strangely casual conversation about making sure me and my brothers get along, that everything was going to be okay, and that our children were excellent people. My wife finished her bath and very cautiously approached me to tell me what she'd experienced. Neither of us could understand who the other voice was and I was a mixture of both skeptic and concerned about the whole thing. She hadn't shared that story with anyone, until we were hanging out with some of Mom's side of the family drinking wine and it somehow came out. My aunt VERY quickly identified the secondary voice as being my Grandma, whom I'd only met when she had Alzheimers. I really should have picked up on that. For story purposes, I left out the strange or remarkably coincidental fact that my mother passed on the same date that her mother died. February 2nd.

Since then, I've had no profoundly noticeable empathic experiences. I still have things occur that could arguably be linked to my gifts, but easily rationalized as a keen sense of intuition or situational awareness. I can still anticipate when certain things are going to happen or if someone is thinking about me or about to look in my direction. My emotional awareness of others is keen, but it doesn't stand out like it used to. On the other hand, I've been profoundly clear minded and emotionally grounded since then. A great sense of peace has come from everything. For that reason, I have not pushed hard to investigate the loss of my gift. Its almost as if I traded it for inner peace. I still can't help but wonder if I'm not doing myself and others a disservice by not pursuing my gift again though. I've looked all over for others in this situation, but its mostly those that are sick or got knocked in the head and lose it for no more than a few weeks. I haven't truly felt my gift in 8 years. I'm not sure how to proceed or if it's even a reasonable venture. Any feedback is welcome.

Thank you for your time.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, LucidEmpath, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

LucidEmpath (1 stories) (8 posts)
9 years ago (2013-03-13)

Thank you for your response! I genuinely agree with all of your speaking points. It's definitely hard to keep this state of mind going non-stop. I have to meditate when I wake up and prepare myself for it and it tapers off a bit when I get REALLY tired at the end of the day. That's to be expected though. Regardless, it's definitely changing me on a fundamental level. At my worst, its noticeably still part of my nature and demeanor, which I'm really grateful for.

Strangely, I'm fairly well educated on synesthesia and it's biological causes, as well as the symptoms that are exhibited by individuals that have it. Obviously, all of my knowledge is second hand and I'm far from a subject matter expert, but I can definitely see how that could come into play with any sort situation where time and energy is being dedicated towards improvement and evolution of one's self and higher thought processes. I'm extremely open minded about anything that could help me in my self improvement and will look into this a bit further. It would just be a matter of figuring out how to repeatably integrate pertinent exercises related to utilizing multiple senses simultaneously from one sensory input into my life.

Thank you again for taking the time to respond and give additional feedback, Newbiepsychic!
Newbiepsychic (109 posts)
9 years ago (2013-03-13)
Lucid Empath
All sounds so good!:) I'm happy for you!
I have to quit smoking as well:)

It's been proven that positive emotions, especially that uncondidtional love changes your body and brain chemistry, it's "almost" an "upper" of sorts. It's healthy which is probably why you feel so great! Despite you looking creepy lol (good one!) it still makes other people feel better to be greeted with a smile. So creep away:)

A few more tips:
- it is hard to maintain that unconditional love state all the time, true, life throws obstacles all the time, so it takes much practice and it will ebb and flow daily, the point is is to keep it going, keep returning back to it, as a centre point in who you are. The positivity attracts positivity - law of attraction, things start to change in life for you and those around you as you maintain this level.

- I have synesthia and I have read that people wishing to attain enlightenment are taught how to induce synesthia by those that are enlightened as a way to begin the process or enhance it. You may want to look it up. One easy excercise is to listen to classical music and while listening see if you can't "feel" the music and "feel" particular colours associated with the notes, flow of the music. It purposely cross wires your senses and I suppose heightens your senses and sensitivity to things. Try identifying the texture of food in your mouth. Try associating colours with numbers and letters, days of the week, months etc. Don't "think" what the response will be, simply feel it and know it. For someone with synesthia these associations are automatically occurring without thought. I believe everyone has these associations they are simply hidden or the person is not in touch with this side of themselves. To bring it out in someone seems to assist in strengthing the sensitivity of the senses and environment.

Continued good luck:)

LucidEmpath (1 stories) (8 posts)
9 years ago (2013-03-12)

So, I've been working on this 6 days now and I feel amazing. Understanding that ego and my body are part of the obstacle, I worked hard to train it and it's working at least as well as I'd hoped.

This is my approach:

-Close your eyes and vividly picture a situation that brings you immense joy. It's best if it's a situation comprised of love, or even better, unconditional love. For me, it's that moment when I come home from work and my three year old gets really excited and rushes me with his little "HI DADDY!"s. Picturing your situation should make you smile and feel love or it's probably not the right scenario for this exercise.

-When you feel the joy this scenario brings you, tag that in your mind. You can also use physical association to reinforce. It can be as simple as pushing the fingernail of your index finger into your thumb with some force.

-Do this until you can summon this feeling at will. The physical fingernail exercise helps me if I'm having trouble doing it naturally.

-Whenever you encounter a living thing, you summon this feeling. That being said... I understand how often this is. Do the best you can. It's especially hard the first few days.

After about a week, it gets pretty automatic. The results are phenomenal. I feel literally, amazing and have genuinely never felt so good. I do this with EVERYONE. Doing this towards complete strangers is a bit awkward at first. I've always been friendly with strangers and gave the mild smile and/or nod, but when I pull this feeling up, I can't help but do the full real smile, complete with eye contact and feeling the corners of my eyes pull up. People react really well. Some don't react at all, but I feel too good to care. Lol.

My only concern is with times when I'm at work and I start to feel something I can only describe as bliss. Nothing that should be important continues to feel important. My mind is utterly blank and I just feel this amazing happiness. Time can just soar by if I let it. I'm not scared of this feeling, because it's phenomenal, but I have to keep it in check at work, because I have a family to support and I still want to do well at my job, of course.

My only concern when I started doing this, was that people would wonder why I was being "creepy". Lol. Fortunately, I work with my brother in law and he called my wife yesterday.

Bro: "What's going on with Lucid?" Internet... Lol. Going by lucid in this story.
Wife: "What do you mean?"
Bro: "He's making lots of eye contact with me and he seems extremely happy about something. Did he get a promotion?"

Hahahah... This made me happy. People notice this state of mind and it's a very positive reaction. I challenge anyone that is seeking to grow and have a happy and fulfilling life to try this. It will forever change you.

Now, I just have to kick smoking. It definitely takes away from what I'm trying to do. Any reason to quite smoking is a good one, but feeling amazing is a pretty good incentive. Anything that stands in my way of this, and isn't vital to supporting my family, is probably no good for me anyhow.

I share this, only because I feel like I've uncovered something beautiful that I never considered as being a result of my spiritual journey and other's should know that this is the end result of such a venture. I initially intended to regain my empathic gifts, but that is far from my thoughts now. If it's meant to happen, it will. If not, I'm extremely happy and I'm definitely a positive and helpful influence on those around me and will just be glad that I able to function in such a capacity.

I'll check back in if I have more news.
LucidEmpath (1 stories) (8 posts)
9 years ago (2013-03-11)
Below is an excellent read and backing towards support for seeking enlightenment through unconditional love.


My cube neighbor at work is aware of my resolve for unconditional love and is quite enlightened herself. She sent this my way. I really enjoyed reading this and wanted to share.

LucidEmpath (1 stories) (8 posts)
9 years ago (2013-03-10)

That is excellent insight. I especially agree with the statement about unconditional love. I don't know how accepting of implementing something like this I could have been a matter of months ago, but really feel it's a powerful and necessary statement now. I've come a long way in a short time and am realizing how much I have to learn, while simultaneously realizing how many obstacles I am overcoming in the acknowledgment of my own opportunity for improvement and evolution. The challenge of meeting everything and everyone with unconditional love is at the forefront of my mind a lot lately. As I do it each day, it becomes a little less intentional. It's a powerful thing. My mind was already clear, as I stated with the "inner peace" bit in my message. Because of this, meditation has been very easy for me without ego and chatter disrupting my thoughts, which allows my time to be very productive in this area. Regardless, reprogramming my basic approach for all of my interactions to be guided with loving intention is perception altering. It doesn't happen immediately, but I definitely see a difference within a few days. I imagine I'll be working at this quite a while to achieve true enlightment though.:)

Per feeling energies... I've always been able to do that, but have always thought of it as a basic function of anatomy and physiology. All living things have a magnetic field. I never lost my ability to feel them. I do get better feelings from others when I get close and work hard not to let my personal perception of them interact with how I feel about the energy they give me. I suppose this is just a challenge of the "ego" in sense of enlightenment and our need to rationalize the things we experience, so they can be understood. I'll let this realization and experience come with time. I now believe that my experience with seeing my aura was a wake up call to push me to question who I am. So, we'll see what may come. No rush.:)

Recently, I've decided not to focus on seeing or feeling specific things and surrender myself to learning, meditation, and opening myself to what may come. My need to achieve some specific outcome or have some specific experience will only inhibit my path to enlightenment. Currently, avoidance of ego and growth towards how I can be a positive influence to my environment are my only concerns. Whatever I am meant to experience and do will come when I am ready for it.


Early high school is tough. Recognition of emotions and managing ones own emotions is a fragile and complicated thing. The brain undergoes many different changes that are necessary for personal development, but also make social interactions VERY difficult. It gets better in the later years of high school though. I really enjoyed my latter high school years.

If I had answered your question when I was in high school, I think I would have given reaction based feedback that would have gotten you through this period, but not helped you grow as a person. Now, I think I would guide you to incorporate the feedback and challenges I am currently pursuing. Meet everyone with love in your heart, despite their own feelings or mannerisms. Realize that each day is a gift and opportunity for you to learn and take in new experiences. Realize that your impact on your environment and the people you meet can be subtly powerful, but don't focus on your importance in the process. Let it happen as you mold your own positive state of mind. I'm positive it seems like I said a lot of buzz words and jive that don't guide you through this situation. However, I really challenge you to think about these things and meditate on it's meaning. I thought I understood these things years ago, but I didn't. It was just easy to say I did. I wasn't ready for it yet. My ego was still too large of an obstacle. Yet, it is never too late and I couldn't be more appreciative for this fundamental and honest realization at this point in my life. Do your best, Drowning. You potentially have a long and amazing life ahead of you. Today is important, but it doesn't define you. Whatever happens, there is always tomorrow and only you decide how you will feel about it and what to do with that gift.:)

Good luck, Drowning!
Drowningplastic (3 posts)
9 years ago (2013-03-08)
Amazing that's what I've been going through the past few years, your teen abilities, mine are fading do you have tips to cope through the whole draw from people thing I'm in high school right now
Newbiepsychic (109 posts)
9 years ago (2013-03-07)
Lucid Empath
Try "feeling" the aura as well and not focus so much on "seeing" it. If you feel someone's "vibes" so to say, tune into their emotions, sometimes a colour just resonates with that person in your mind's eye (or third eye). Don't "think" of what the colour is or might be, let it come to you. I find this easier to do when I'm not directly speaking with the person but they are near me or right before see each other or after. Sometimes the colours will surprise you, once you know the person better (at their deepest or find out something about them you didn't know, the colours then seem to make sense). Just a tip:)

As for your heart chakra opening, try to look at everyone you meet with unconditional love (sounds very 1960s flower power I know:). This is one of the main keys to opening heart chakra. You have to feel that for people and forgive them for their faults, imperfections etc etc. This is one of the hardest things to do for people and why so hard to open heart chakra for most. Literally "love thy neighbour". Once that opens up, that is the key to much peace and happiness in your own self. The fact you are about to have a child, perfect! Love others in life like you love that child. Hard to do:)
Good luck!
LucidEmpath (1 stories) (8 posts)
9 years ago (2013-03-06)
It's not much, but I wanted to leave follow up. I've been working on my heart and third eye chakras, trying to align my chakras, and doing a great amount of meditation. With as little as about 2 hours of accumulated time spent on my third eye and 45 minutes spent on my heart chakra, I've had some unexpected results. Aside from feeling excellent, I saw my own aura last night. I don't recall ever experiencing this event before. My wife is 6 months pregnant and I had my hand on her stomach. I wasn't looking directly at my hand, but saw a yellow glow coming off of it for about a quarter inch. I didn't know what I was seeing immediately, lifted my hand, moved it around a bit, and still saw the outline around my hand. I did it pretty discretely, because I didn't want to draw attention away from the tender moment we were having, but it wasn't shadows or anything else, like I previously thought. I've tried aura viewing since and can't seem to get such solid results. It's remarkable how well defined the energy was. I'll keep doing the work I'm doing and see where it takes me.

Still open to feedback and suggestions!:)

LucidEmpath (1 stories) (8 posts)
9 years ago (2013-03-05)
Thank you dreamer! I'm hoping you are correct and am gearing up to start doing a lot of chakra work to see if maybe a solid alignment is what I need. I've always been a fan of meditation, but have not historically focused in on my chakras. I'm hoping that may help. Any additional feedback is most certainly welcome and I will absolutely follow up if I have any breakthroughs.
dreamer13099 (5 stories) (40 posts)
9 years ago (2013-03-05)
You sound like a very strong empath. Dont worry, all psychics have a period where their powers just seem to abandon them. They usually come back. If you are concerned, I would try meditation and reuniting with your abilities. Maybe because you tried to sheild them away, they need to be reopened and get used to being used. You gift is a part of you, it can never go away completley. I know it's not a lot but I hope I helped a little bit! Good Luck and tell me how it goes!

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