To tell you the truth. I don't know what to write. So much has happened in my years of life. What I really just want is help. I don't understand these abilities. I know they run in the family, but I'm too scared to talk to someone. I've sensed death and made lights flicker. I've talked to my dead half brother. I just need some advice.
I hold in my emotion a lot for personal reasons and when all my emotions are let out I've been releasing what I think is physic energy. I do this mostly at school and ever since then people have started seeing things upstairs. I'm scared I'm going to hurt someone or do something I'll regret later since I'm ill tempered. I really need advice about this and I didn't know where else to turn to. I want to learn more about my feelings of precognition. They're always right. I would like to be right all the time when it is something like homework, but not your friend's dad dying. The worst part was there was nothing I could do. Why give us these abilities if we can't do anything about it? I hate being right. I know I have abilities. I know I probably sound insane, but I just need advice. I think I'm suppose to write events instead of ask for advice and say personal thoughts, I'm sorry if that's what I'm suppose to do. I'm new. Just in case I'm suppose to write about events. I'll write about all the experiences I've had with my abilities.
I already mentioned precognition, so I'll start from there. The experience had started exactly when I woke up. I had a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I had that feeling all day during school. Later near the end of the day I all of a sudden noticed one of my friends was absent, but I thought nothing of it. After school I checked my email and my friend, the one who was absent, told me something was wrong with her dad. I quickly emailed her what happened and if she was okay. Apparently, her dad had a heart attack sometime that day. I felt horrible knowing that I sensed something wrong and I didn't say anything or couldn't do anything. She was really close to her dad and that broke her for a while.
Then we have telekinesis. The one I'm scared to use the most. I've only used it twice and avoid trying to use it. The most monumental time I've used it would be last year. I was in Math class. I have that in the morning and I'm not a morning person, so I was already in a bad mood. Our teacher was going over homework. She was stating how many people were cheating and she was disappointed in them, but she didn't call them out. Then she called me out for making a simple mistake. That just made me furious, since people where doing worse things, yet I got in trouble. My school is an expert on stressing me out, so I had enough. I needed to do what always calms me down, break something. I knew I would get in trouble if I did, though. Then I saw a light. I started to focus on that light and try to make it explode. A few minutes later that light flickered. It caught me by surprise and I stopped focusing. Then I felt tired and drained of energy. If I did make the light explode I could of seriously hurt someone. I never thought of it that day, but what I did was completely reckless.
Another ability I've been shown to have is a connection with spirits. I wouldn't call it being a medium, though. I can sense when a spirit is around me along with, if it's a good spirit or bad spirit, it's gender (usually), and sometimes what age it's around. I can also know what they're saying. I can sense what they're saying or thinking. The same thing goes for regular living people and even animals sometimes. I use this more than anything else. I'm shy and closed towards the living, but the dead listens I can tell, yet they don't always say something back. I can be open and myself. It scares me that I talk to the dead almost as much as I do the living. Then I found out I had a half brother that died before I was born. My dad always thought that was why I was a tomboy and so tough. He said I must of had some of my brother in me. Just a few months ago when I was upset for personal reasons I felt a comforting presence. It started to watch over and check up on me every once in a while. I just had a feeling it was my brother. I know it sounds insane, but if you believe any of it and can give me any advice I would greatly appreciate it.