I am experiencing some sort of life dilemma where my abilities are shut off for the most part except where I can control the weather, speak things for people and they happen, but haven't been able to make anything manifest for myself. My guide, if that's what you call it, constantly says negative things and that aggravates me. This is truly not from me. It incenuates back to something that it says I am doing, that which I am not. It is on this like broken record theme, that needs to fix itself. Where is the proverbial 'good news', like in the gospel? Just don't get this one.
Some abilities are probably still present but at this point I believe I should be capable of so much more as I dove into my spirituality years ago back in 2009 and have been working on it since. I believed it would just happen, like it has for so many others.
There are periods where my spine hurts, mostly on sunrise, the area behind my heart chakra, my legs feel sluggish and even my hips are slow to move with my legs. I have never been like this in all the years before, what is going on?
I have dreams that help to figure what I may have to re-think about my daily life. But nothing that ever helps me to really progress. I read about those of you who have future dreams, whether they are deja vu or so, but none like that for me. This is the crap part of life, like where I think life should have turned long ago, but hasn't.
It is like I am waiting to find that person or spirit that tells me what I should be doing to help others and help myself, the planet etc. That serves as my life's calling but I haven't found anyone to answer me. For example, John Edwards's on the t.v show was told eons ago about what his life would entail with his abilities by a lady he met. Why can't my life be that easy?
For years, I followed with numbers and their progressive meanings, I am born under the pythagoras theme, but all of it seems to elude me where I believe it should have only progressed. How to overcome this?