For some years I've had a problem; peoples energies we're bothering me, or making me feel good, uncontrollably nauseous etc. Shocked, unable to protect myself. I also have felt peoples energy blocks, feelings, sometimes received information about their personal lives and intuitively knew when someone needed help.
For example sometimes I would get really nauseous when meeting someone, like today, when I met a friend with mania and psychosis, tried to protect myself, but felt dizzy and nauseous afterwards.
During the past few years these things have been mostly a confusing, interesting, scary and nightmarish, wonderful world to me. But uncontrollable, mostly, or how to put it, narrow-sighted and still wild. These things get stronger and stronger, not 24/7, but I notice I have gotten out of my flow and balance.
I want to find a real connection, humility and reason why these things happen.
Lately I've had problems with for example thinking about certain people; I feel that sometimes I make subconsciously a connection to their energies, and feel what they are feeling. This can happen suddenly when I glance at a picture, think about someone, see someone on the street, see someone's Facebook profile. And I fear other people do this as well to me. Sometimes I feel someone is watching me.
I have also encountered people who have used their power over me or tried to manipulate me, and I'm sick of getting mixed with these things, unable to protect myself.
This all has made me insecure and paranoid, sometimes unable to feel and set my own boundaries, numb, unable to express how I really feel.
It feels like this ability also changes depending who I'm with.
Once my friend told me she had a dream of me, she said "you were in a house", and I right there I received the energy of the dream, and suddenly saw it too. I could describe the events, what I did, what I looked like and what was the general atmosphere. Lately I have also seen/felt what happens between musicians when they play. It was interesting. It's just too much sometimes, when you know and feel things you sens are too much for you, like negativity people send towards me. Like having a conversation with someone and feeling and sensing their reaction when what comes out is something different.
Also places, food, clothes, animals, and other objects have their energies. These things don't bother me all the time. But I think there has to be a balance and not just these glimpses, sometimes controllable and sometimes uncontrollable flashes of something.
The main problem is that I feel it blinds from own self, it is like a spell. Like when you are not at home, what happens there? If you are like a weather vane to emotions, impulses, from outside and from your own mind.
All this is interesting but it makes me sad, like my sensitivity would be a weakness I'm unable to handle. I feel this is either a dead end or a door that should be opened. I feel tired, and at the same time that this is a part of me I have to accept, and that it will lead me somewhere.
Can someone help me?