Over the years, I have experienced startling events that have lead me to question my sanity. The first thing I will address is related to my last post a year or so ago, and I shared some of the experiences I've had with a female who I believe to be deceased but cannot be sure. I had first seen her in my friends bedroom in the corner, then she showed up in two pictures I had taken. The first of which, I accidentally deleted, the other I still have saved in my computer. (Please read my last post for past details) Since then, I had tried to make contact with her in my sleep because she would be in my dreams from time to time. The first attempt I had said out loud before getting into bed "Please appear to me in my dreams." Well, directly after I said that I thought to myself that her appearing to me in person again would freak me out to much. That night I had a dream that I was suspended in the air against the wall. I could not move, or speak. In front of me was my son sitting on my bed, and the image of him would switch between my son and then instead it was the female sitting on the bed smiling at me. In the dream I was not able to look away or close my eyes. When I woke I was frightened, I felt like she had known I made the comment in my head about not wanting to see her in person and that in retaliation, she forced me to look at her in my dream and had created the scenario in which I saw her to try to scare me. Not long after that night I made a second attempt to contact her in my sleep. This time I said out loud before going to bed "Please appear to me in my dreams, I want to talk with you." I was not afraid this time, but determined. She was not in my dreams since I had made this statement to her.
Meditation is something that has helped me reduce my anxiety and helped me to keep myself grounded. Lately while attempting to meditate I have the unnerving feeling that I'm being watched. Around two weeks ago I had been meditating when someone whispered my name. I opened my eyes and there was no one there, no one had been in the room I was in but it sounded as if someone had said it right next to my ear.
This was not the first time I have heard voices that I could not explain.
Years ago my brother had come home from playing with his friend Hunter. I was in the kitchen doing dishes when I heard the front door open and close. I heard the two of them discussing something back and forth and after a minute I had come out to greet them. The only one there was my brother, and I asked him if Hunter had already gone. He replied no, and that he hadn't come here. I then asked who he had been talking to. He informed me that no one was talking.
Another instance was when I was 15 or so. I had been in the storage room downstairs with the door shut when I heard heels walking across the floor in the living area outside the door. Then I heard my father's girlfriend say "Oh, I thought someone was down here." Then a few seconds later I go out there to see her and no one was there, nor her car. I later verified she had not come there at all that day.
The reason things like this have bothered me, is the fact that my mother is schizophrenic. She was diagnosed with it in her early twenties.
The point of the examples I shared is that all of the voices I've heard until the most recent one have been of people I know. Now I wonder if it could be the female who seems to follow where I go, who whispered my name. I want to know if it's my subconscious, or someone trying to get my attention.
My next two experiences I'm including in here to tell a little about myself, and could possibly be apart of the reason I seem to be a magnet for odd occurrences.
Until a few weeks ago I worked for a auto garage as a service adviser. A summer ago we had a problem with mice in the shop, so glue traps were placed throughout the place. I was the only female working in there at the time so, needless to say, I was the first target when the guys felt like poking fun. They all called me back in the shop one day to show me this cute little mouse that had been caught in one of the traps to see my reaction. I wasn't amused. The poor thing was still living and just had to wait there until it died. The guys demonstrated to me how strong the glue traps were by placing a sheet of paper on top of an empty trap and lightly taping on the paper, the trying to pull it out. It was very clear to me at that point that if I had tried to pull the mouse out, I would injure it and condemn it to death anyway. So when no one was watching I walked back to the mouse, closed my eyes and envisioned a bright white light shaped in my religious symbol around the mouse and thought only of peace and freedom for as long as I could hold focus. Then I left the mouse. The next day I came into work, all eyes were on me. My first question was, "Did the mouse die?" They responded by asking me how I got it out. Which of coarse I didn't. To this day they accuse me of letting it free. I of coarse can have no idea if I had to do anything with it getting out or not. Is it even possible to do something like that with your mind?
A couple years ago my close friend of mine had started working for a family as a housekeeper/nanny. Things were going well with that as far as I had heard when I had this dream. In my dream I saw the mother, she was thin with brown hair that was done up very tightly. She didn't speak but in the dream I knew that she was up-tight and her presence came off to me as threatening. I told my friend about the dream the next day, and she was shocked. We had never discussed what she had looked like and she informed me that everything I had dreamed about the woman's appearance was correct. Later we learned the woman was extremely religious to the point where it seemed she thought anyone with different beliefs than hers were like a plague on the earth and were demons to her. She began giving my friend disturbing advice soon after but luckily my friend quit the job.
I am wondering if these experiences could mean that I have some sort of ability. However if anyone has any advise on the voices I've heard that would be great, since that is what I am most confused and concerned about. Thank you for reading.