I'm not sure how to begin this. The precognition, medium and other types of supernatural abilities run in my family. My sister can see dead relatives, but, blocks it out. She wants nothing to do with it. My mother and grandmother have precognition dreams. My father is sometimes woken up by his dead father. And I, can hear and (more strangely) feel a dead relative around me. My wife's grandmother recently died. During the funeral service, she spoke to me because people were crying. She had me give messages to a few members of her family and then she either left or I couldn't keep the connection going. I shake like a leaf in the wind while this happens. The now deceased grandmother's husband died suddenly of a heart attack a few years ago and he literally haunted me incessantly until I relayed his messages to his family. I have felt the presence of my grandfather and grandmother many times. There are also bad things out there. Angry, awful things. I have blocked them out whenever they have assaulted my mind. But, they are frightening. I invoke the protection of God and my mother gave me a cross to carry at all times.
My now wife once interrupted a band (music) practice, because a vision of her and the idea of murder pounded in my head momentarily. I stopped the practice called her up and she was crying on the other end of the phone because she was convinced that something terrible had happened to me. I felt her anguish before the call.
Finally, when I was 18, I suddenly felt completely alone while driving. I never considered that I wasn't until that moment. As I was driving, I passed by the exit for my parent's house, and felt like I was being led to a forest. I drove to an exit from the highway in NJ, exited, drove down a road and stopped. I then was suddenly VERY scared. I turned the car around and quickly left that place. I have no idea what that was about. A crazy imagination?
My questions are; 1) Am I a medium? 2) Am I some type of portal or vessel? 3) Who or what are the bad things that try to haunt me? 4) How do I control and my abilities, whatever they are? 5) How do I protect those around me (family) since the bad things tried to contact my wife on at least one occasion and she has no abilities like I do? 6) How do I go about finding someone that could "read" me and maybe guide me because I feel there are strong and dangerous forces in and around me.
You do indeed have abilities that have clearly developed over the years. The loneliness that you mentioned whilst driving in your car rings a bell. I too have marveled at this uncanny sense of 'seclusion' on a few occasions. As you must be fairly aware, we share our footsteps with many countless planes of existence. Our subconscious, in many cases, may share a relationship with a soul belonging to a separate plane. If so, we may become relentlessly coupled with this personality and may not consciously become aware of it because we are so much attached to the presence, and vice versa. Often it is to share or control the vessel that is our flesh - which is not uncommon. One could compare it to lifting a fork - he does not consider the muscles that raise it, his body simply acts on the inclination. From what you wrote of it, this personality seems to have a penchant for stirring up negative forces - or fear. I'm not so much concerned where it was leading you, but rather how it feeds - It desires you in this state of apprehension.
Just as people have a tendency to lean towards one characteristic or the other, so do all beings. However, the unique approach that lies in their character is driven by the nature of their 'species,' in a sense (as would a lion verses that a lamb). I choose to stray from the word 'haunted' because it immediately signifies negativity and fear. Each being, no matter whether the lion or the lamb, is looking to satisfy its own requirements. At the end of the day, there is nothing more to dabble in. Live and let live, but nothing should have the right to destroy your health and happiness.
It took many, many difficult and painful lessons for me to understand that my sole adversary is none other than fear. I'm still learning. We are approached by what we allow in. I would dare to say that most nonfiction articles written in this genre are filled with intimidating tales because we have been taught to fear what we choose to deny. Overcoming fear will allow a very real boost in abilities and you will not only be able to protect yourself, but all those who surround you. I find that I am able to take care of others more than myself in most instances because the anger I feel is wholesome.
You are your own most trustworthy guide. Listen and closely watch what your abilities unravel for you. These abilities are named 'gifts' because they will enable you to discover all that you seek. Trust in that. Finding someone to help you is a door opened wide. Be careful who you let in.
Take care of yourself.