I have done a lot of meditation in my lifetime, to try to understand why I never fit into this place we call "Earth," and it took me awhile to understand it. I had anger issues for a long time, because I was an outsider, I was an outcast, I was alone, I was different. And people could sense it.
I've done meditation, taught myself lucid dreams, and have spoken to spirits to understand who I am and what I am, and it took a long time to finally understand, and even now, I'm not sure I fully understand. I've dreamt of my past lives, and one that stands out to me so strongly, so much so that I feel I left something behind, is "The Valley."
The Valley. How so many people...! I've reconnected with several people whose base past life was The Valley, only to hear that every one of them had another person asking them about it, another person "awakening" them to the fact that it exists, but nobody ever keeps in contact with this person. I would like to know who it is that keeps finding The Valley kids before I do, and who awakens them, and why she leaves them after she awakens. I do not understand this. It's always been a girl, too. I've been given several past usernames of hers, for them to only disappear and never show up again. Like some sort of ghost, trekking across the internet, to bind other Vallians together. (I call us Vallians, though it's not a real popular word amongst us.)
And I don't understand this. How can someone be there one second, only to disappear the very next? With no records of her existence. It's always a female, and she always disappears. Who is the phantom girl, and why does she continually awaken and reunite people from "The Valley" only to disappear, like she never existed?
I don't understand.
I know so many people would think I was crazy for this. For believing so vehemently in this, in my dreams, in my feelings, but I feel like there's so much more to all this than so many people think. And I don't understand why!
What is this Valley, and who is this girl? I know what the Valley is now, but why is there a phantom girl running around, awakening those who are from there?
This makes no sense.
I've seen more than that. A woman who appeared to me once, long ago, to whom I would often look to for guidance afterward. She told me she was a Goddess, a spirit, a guardian. She led me to finding more people like myself, to finding out more about my abilities. I have yet to fully embrace what I can do, for it terrifies me.
In my past life, I was Starlight Wincan.
In this life, I am still Starlight Wincan.
I seek those who know of me, who have heard of me, who have memories of me. Most likely, they seek me too, and more likely, they have been visited by the phantom girl who just fades into the background like nothing ever happened.
I don't understand what I am supposed to do. Who I am supposed to become. Where I am meant to go. I am terrified that I will never find out, but I will continue to fight to understand myself, and my growing abilities.
I have heard the words, "Venustry," "Fierbarkt," "Xanistiry," and "Lifical" so many times, I know they must exist, but what is it that exists? What are they? What are they meant to be?