The last couple of weeks I have been increasingly sensitive to everything. I used to be able to joke around with my friends, and I can't really anymore I take everything so literal. So anyway this last month or longer, I have been super sensitive. Once in the middle of the night I woke up my boyfriend because I feel immense sadness in the world. I started crying about how I felt like I couldn't do anything I could not help people feel happy. I felt bad for all the people I won't be able to help. That happens a couple nights over a 2 weeks period. I am thinking at this point I'm just super sensitive suddenly.
Now before this I was a good person but I wasn't exactly nice to everyone, now for some reason I am so much nicer and empathetic to everyone. I used to think that death row made sense, because they were bad people they deserve to die. Now the thought makes me sick. I feel like its cruel and unnecessary. Why bring more cruelness to the world.
Anyway so this last 2 weeks has been awful, I have known certain things were going to happen, I just didn't say anything because I thought it was weird for me to know it. About 3 nights ago me and my twin were hanging out in the middle of the night chatting, we both suffer from depression/bpd and anxiety. I thought I could blame all of this stuff on it. But the recent stuff has been too much to ignore.
So we were smoking a joint and talking. When suddenly I was overpowered by information about everything I saw visions of many people, people who I know and people who I don't know. I started crying because I didn't know what to do with all the information. It was too much, I ended up falling asleep.
So anyway the last couple of days I have known what was going to happen. So it brings us to today, my friend was going to come over, but I knew he was going to get called into work, and he did. I didn't say anything to my boyfriend And my boyfriend was expecting our friend to stop by, but I knew he wasn't going to. The whole day I knew, and eventually at night our friend finally texted back and said he was called in.
I was right, my boyfriend was upset and asked why I didn't tell him. I told him I was afraid I was wrong.
And when I was writing this I felt a presence off our recently departed cat, I started sobbing, I couldn't stop, I miss him. But I could tell he was just fine and curious.
Anyway this all started after he died, I am suddenly more sensitive to everything. But what do I do with this information, I feel like I might just be crazy, I never thought this stuff was real but now I believe.
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