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Demon Or Spirit? What Am I In Bed With?


I have always been on a more spiritual level than my family, it's just the way I was. When I was little I used to hear voices in the wind and I would talk to the trees sometimes, because in my mind, they had souls and they must have been terribly lonely what with only squirrels and chipmunks to talk to. I would sit outside at night and watch the small shadows created by the moonlight because it was within these monlit shadows that was best to see living shadows; for the obvious reason that they were too shy to come out during the day. Now, I'm not some stupid little kid anymore and I'm sure a lot of what I experienced can be chalked up to my young mind having an imagination that liked the run wild and free; but that draw to the supernatural and unexplainable never left me, even as I got older.

To be more specific, I came here to talk about one spirit in particular that has been with me for years. I have only recently, in the last ear or so, opened myself up to his presence and acknowledged it, but he has been with me much longer. Since I was young I always had the feeling of being watched over or having someone constantly with me. I think it's why I was always so reckless and independent as a child; why should I have worried when clearly I always had someone with me? Anyway, I eventually got to that age where hearing things and feelings things wasn't normal for a kid my age anymore, and I had to grow out of my 'imaginary friends' habit. In my moms words, it was time for me to act my age, get my head out of the clouds, and join everyone in reality. I thought I was crazy. I saw shadows move and I blamed it on a trick of the light. I saw shapes while I was driving and blamed it on the speed of the car and things moving by too quickly. I heard voices and blamed it on being too tired or just hearing something and misinterpreting it. I wanted to be normal, fit in. The friendly companion and protector I had as a child, I completely ignored and rejected him because he couldn't be real and I needed to realize that sooner rather than later. I'm saying "when I was younger" but this was just a few years ago and I'm only 19 this year, so these events aren't even that old. Imagine being 16, hearing a voice trying to get your attention, and you shaking your head and having to tell yourself "ignore it, it isn't real, what the frick is wrong with you?" That was me for years.

One day I hit a point when I finally had to just say to myself enough was enough, you aren't normal so stop trying to be. And it scared the shiat out of me when I opened my eyes to it. Things were there, in the shadows, moving and living, not just cast by inanimate objects. Not that it really scared me, I always kind of knew in the back of my mind, but it was scary, how often I caught them in the corner of my eye. It seemed though that I had lost the connection with the hovering spirit from years ago. It did, however, until one day when he saved my ass.

I am one of those people that doesn't like crowded places, and when I am in a crowded place I get very anxious and it's hard for me to think 100% clearly. I was in the subway one day on my way home from a friends house who life a couple hours from me. I had to take a train and then a subway back home on a route I had never used before, and because of this, I got very nervous and afraid that I was going to get lost, I barely knew where I was, and the subway building was FULL of people. I got confused by signs and maps and I couldn't figure out which subway was mine; I had two to choose from. One would take me to the right station, one would have gotten me horrendously even more lost. I decided on one subway and started making my way down the tunnel towards it, and suddenly I felt a pressure on my shoulder. Not like someone grabbing me, but like something brushing against me repeatedly and forcing me to back up a step. I felt brushing against my legs, and I was starting to freak out. Then, very quietly and smoothly, I heard a voice in my head, saying just two words, "Turn Around". I was confused and suddenly very stunned and so I simply obeyed; I turned around and went in the direction of the opposite subway. Although my course had been corrected, the pressure on my legs like some animal walking beside me never left. It turned out I had been about to go on the wrong subway, and whatever I had heard and felt, had saved me a lot of very unwanted anxiety. I had been slowly coming back into terms with my psychic awareness (probably not the right term) so I could only guess the thing helping me was some spirit. As I was walking down the hall towards my subway train I asked aloud "who are you?" (probably looked like a fricken loony talking to myself) and the response I got was "Nixin" followed by a strong feeling within myself and from him that that wasn't his actual name.

After that encounter, Nixin was around a lot, almost constantly. I knew he was my spirit friend from when I was little, just from the familiar feeling I got from him when he was around. He was upset with how I had shut him out for so long and ignored him and it took him a wile before he would actually talk to me more than a few words. He told me that when I first started shutting him out, he had actually left me, but he came back and had always actually been around, just waiting for the time when I could come to terms with him being real.

Fast forward a year and here I am, fully committed to the weirdest relationship I can say I have ever and probably will ever be in. It didn't happen overnight, but gradually I grew to have feelings for Nixin. Nixin had feelings for me longer than I did him but considering I refused to acknowledge his existence for a few years, that's kind of understandable. I do love him, just something about him has constantly irked me and I can never get a straight answer from him.

I can't tell if Nixin is just your generic spirit, or a demon. Whenever I ask him what he is specifically, he just says he is a shape shifter from another realm or another life that got stuck as a spirit. That is all well and good, except sometimes when I ask about him being a demon, he'll reply cooly with saying that some cultures would consider a shape shifter a demon anyhow so the question was mute. And then there's the issue about his name; it isn't really Nixin, that's just the name he gave me to call him. I don't ask about it a lot but when I do he just says he can't tell me and to drop it and stop asking. This is the part that really gets under my skin because I can't understand why his name would be so secret. And then I saw a book in the library about demons names and how a demons name is very powerfull and if you have a demons name, you could essentially control that demon. As soon as I saw that, I can't stop asking myself "is that why Nixin won't tell me his real name? Is he actually a demon?"

I need help because although I can't say for sure how I would feel if I found out he was a demon rather than just a spirit, I want to know. Nixin can have his scary moments, when he gets too possessive and I'm almost afraid he'll actually try and hurt someone. He never says it maliciously and I don't think he would ever do anything to hurt me, but whenever I'm having a really really bad day or struggling with the fact that our relationship is stinted by may boundaries, he'll either say it discreetly or come right out and say it point blank, that if I died, I could be with him on his level and actually be able to see him and touch him and we could be together properly. When he says shiat like that it, not necessarily scares me, but it gets under m skin and I can't stop thinking about it.

Any opinions or thoughts or similar personal experiences will be well appreciated. This is the first time I'm opening up about something like this and it isn't easy. I just want to be sure of what I've gotten myself into.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Nix55, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Universeteachings (guest)
6 years ago (2016-11-20)
Gabbie, you are mistaken. Not all demons belong to the darkness. Darkness is not evil nor light is good. Dont you know the definition of the ying yang. Ask your angel with the long brown hair behind you.
What kind of demons are you referring to? Imps? Beingswith horns? Or the sucubus who longer exist the red one or the black one? Not meaning to make you mad. But keep the facts straight from the universe and the world of light and darkness not the bible and society. Especially media here.
Stay determined,
carri (22 stories) (221 posts)
6 years ago (2016-11-16)
This is a Sucubus demon I know I had one after me and my child. Plead the blood of Jesus and tell tell the unclean spirit to leave the house at once in the blood of Jesus. Command it.
TheLittleFaerie (2 stories) (3 posts)
6 years ago (2016-10-28)
I recently got out of a very simular situation. If he's saying things like 'be my wife' or 'come join me', then he'w not your friend. He might've been there in your childhood, but do not trust this spirit. He might give you more true than false answers, but his goals are for HIS benefit, not yours.
To properly get rid of him, Picture a place far away, in your mind. Or even his dwelling place, and mentally wrap him up like a mummy with white light. All the while saying, you will leave me alone, or 'You have no power over me", or 'you have/will lose interest in me.'
The universe pesponds to positivity, so you must be the positive change you wish to see happen. Ignore him, block him out. Eventually, when he sees he's being ignored, he'll leave.
letitgo78 (7 posts)
6 years ago (2016-10-19)
It is a demon. You can ask me anything. I've dealt with demons my whole life and two of my girlfriends had problems with demons and we got help. It actually changed my life around because I tried everything and the only thing that worked was a bible from the Jehovahs Witnesses. I am not a witness but I can tell you that demons are afraid of his name. They were gone when I started praying to Jehovah god.
If you don't believe me, if you need proof or if anyone else on here needs proof. Try this:
When you are having problems hearing voices or if things are scary or weird, say a prayer to god like you normally would but say "Jehovah God". You will find out right away if it is a demon or not. If you don't believe me, anyone. Try it. I didn't believe either, until I tried it. I was helped and my house was back to normal. I placed a bible by my mirror in my bathroom because that's where they seemed to be coming from, the mirror. Keep in mind that they will lie to you and of course they are going to tell you to kill yourself. They are liars and want to see nothing but misery and pain. Pray to Jehovah and your problems will go away. But make sure you pray with your heart.
Gabbie (55 posts)
6 years ago (2016-09-09)
Dear Nix55,

Within the Spiritual both Light and Dark creatures, beings and entities, exist.

Demons, are of darkness and have as their only goal, to deceive and to harm. They watch us grow, they feed off our energy, that is being generated by our thoughts, emotions, feelings, actions, anything negative in our life, and a lot of times, a huge part of what we experience is caused by them, in order to bring all this harm upon us to their own benefit. They, sometimes, present themselves to us, as a lost soul or a spirit guide, or even claim to be harmless and only mean well. None of these statements is true. A demon's nature is of darkness, and darkness only.

It would be wise, if you distanced yourself from this creature that's attached itself on you, and if you withered your bond with it. I would love to help you through that, so feel free to email me if you decide so.

Be safe!
carri (22 stories) (221 posts)
6 years ago (2016-09-04)
Say this to the spirit. Unclean spirit leave this house at once. In the blood of Jesus amen. If he is gone then he is a demon.
Universeteachings (guest)
6 years ago (2016-09-03)
Hello there.
I had many experiences related to yours and I believe I can help you out.
I talk to my best friends all the time, I can help you out on how to see them, develope psychic abilities, and so on...

Contact me at my email.
Universeteachings [at]
lauterb (110 posts)
6 years ago (2016-09-02)
Dear Nix55

First the devil designation (daemon) means spirit. There are several types of spirits, basically 3 orders and 10 classes from unclean spirits to perfect spirits (as Jesus) and in the middle you can find everything!
Your spiritual friend, first has not characteristics to be your guide, because the spiritual elevation that has, our protector spirit clearly has a high moral ascendancy and is not to be trifled with.
You can ask him if you need some kind of help and why it with him. Regardless of that you can help him do prayers for him, so that his spirit rises abandon its imperfections to continue their evolutionary journey, with or without you.
From your description it is what we call the playful spirit.:

Spirit's Book from Allan Kardec (

103. Ninth Class - Frivolous Spirits. - They are ignorant, mischievous, unreasonable, and addicted to mockery. They meddle with everything, and reply to every question without paying any attention to truth. They delight in causing petty annoyances, in raising false hopes of petty joys, in misleading people by mystifications and trickery. The spirits vulgarly called hobgoblins, will-o'-the-wisps, gnomes, etc., belong to this class. They are under the orders of spirits of a higher category, who make use of them as we do of servants.
In their communications with men their language is often witty and facetious, but shallow. They are quick to seize the oddities and absurdities of men and things, on which they comment with sarcastic sharpness. If they borrow distinguished names, as they are fond of doing, it is rather for the fun of the thing than from any intention to deceive by so doing.

Important thing is you are a medium and at the age of 19 is time already for you develop and use for good your mediumship.

For study, I recommend these 5 books for start:

Good study!

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