My mother says I have always been 'spooky', and for the most part I have brushed it off as just coincidence. I'm a logical thinker, and although I've always wanted to believe in spiritual things I've never been able to break down the barrier that prevents me. My grandfather was a science professor; I've sort of donned his skeptical way of thinking, though he died when I was six. Anyway, my 'quirks' have been pretty harmless, through out my life. Mainly revolving around music, actually. I'll start singing something before it comes on the radio, I'll sing something before it comes on shuffle, and my colleagues and family have witnessed me doing this. I've also been known to 'point things out', things that I always follow with 'didn't I say?'.
But something had happened a few times in my life that have chilled me to the core.
When I was 12 my mum's step dad (my grandpa) went into a hospice. He had motor neurone disease. I never got to see him, I think part of me was too scared because I knew he wasn't the man I knew anymore due to this hideous illness... One weekend I was staying at my friend's house, and at midnight I shot up out of my sleep and started hysterically crying and I didn't know why. My friends mum, Shelly, came and comforted me, and I eventually went back to sleep.
The next morning my mum phoned and spoke to Shelly, who told her about my 'funny turn' at midnight. My mum recalls going cold, and told her that my Grandpa had died at midnight. When I spoke to my mum I asked, almost in panic like I knew I didn't have much time to say goodbye, if I could see him. My mum told me he'd passed in the night and to be honest, I don't remember reacting.
We always thought that was weird, but haven't written it off as coincidental. There have been a few other instances, in which I've gone and got the phone moments before it started ringing, with a nurse on the other line informing us of a family members passing. But I've just put the whole thing to once side. I haven't gone through an awful lot of loss, so I don't have many 'case studies', so to speak. Until Monday of this week...
My dad and I work in the building trade, and there was one particular builder we were very keen on. He sort of became an uncle to me, and was like a father figure to my dad. He was a friend to us both. Two months ago he called me and asked me to go round to his, and to bring my dad with me. I knew something was wrong. He told my dad he had cancer.
We didn't hear from really after that day. A month ago, I started having dreams, in which the builder had died. I told my dad he needed to get in touch with him, I don't know why he didn't. The dreams progressed almost like it was true events, involving the funeral etc. And then they stopped.
On Monday I had a call from an unknown number. It was his son, telling me the builder had died a month ago. Again, it was almost as though I didn't have the capacity to react. That evening I cried quite a lot, but silently. Like the only part of me that was sad were my eyes. It's weird, almost like these experiences numb me.
So all in all, I don't know what to make of all of this. I know when someone has died. I tried looking it up, all I can find is people who can predict when someone is going to die. With me, it's like a realization when it happens.
Advice for a novice, very much required.