I need help.
Ever since I was young, I had a strong intuition. I experienced deja vu on a daily basis, could know a person's intent just by looking at them, and my dreams would come true. I would dream of the clothes that I would buy down to the last detail, questions on an upcoming exam, or important people who would be coming into my life. I actually got a near perfect score on the university entrance exams because I already knew the questions that would be asked. Sometimes I would even get information I had no idea how it came to me - knowledge of what people were thinking, for example.
My abilities would always present themselves in my dreams. It was hard to tell what was a dream and what was a manifestation of my abilities, because they were often a mix. But I developed PTSD, and my dreams no longer had any abilities - they were just nightmares. Since then, my abilities manifest when I'm awake during moments of deja vu. They tend to be very short, vivid, emotional clips of something coming up. I have predicted my boyfriend breaking up with me, fights I would have with friends, horrible texts, and traumatic events like car crashes. It's to the point where I don't believe what I see anymore, because it's too painful. These are all far and few between, they seem to be happening less frequently, and all related to something horrible. I feel like a walking omen.
I want to go back to how I used to be, where I would know useful (less horrid) information. I feel like I'm loosing my ability slowly but surely, and I don't know how to stop it. I know it's linked to my intuition, and that you can train your intuition like a muscle. Or, at least that's what I've been told by my family. But they haven't told me how I'm supposed to strengthen it because they just naturally get stronger.
The women on my mom's side all have this ability, with my mom being the strongest one. We don't talk about this outside of the family, and very rarely between us (my current boyfriend has no idea about it). I'm the only one that who seems to be getting less strong with age, and I don't want to be cut off because I feel I'd be loosing a part of myself. I also don't want them to know I'm loosing this ability, as some in my family are very proud that this is being passed down.
How do I control this? Once I start loosing it, is it gone? Those of you who are more developed, please help me.