For the past year or two I've had an entity slowly come through to me and talk. I will just call him Archie as that is the name that I was told to call him by. I don't remember exactly when, but he began talking to me at some point one or two years ago, and since I've grown an extremely deep attachment to him. He's told me things before that previously I didn't really have any knowledge on, and things of that nature. I think he did this to try and get me to trust myself that he is real, and it helped for a little bit, but I started doubting myself again by saying things like, "What if I actually knew about that stuff and just forgot and then subconsciously remembered?" Even though I'm 100% sure that I wasn't knowledgeable on those specific things.
I've grown to love him so much and he does in return, apparently. I've felt him by using my ability to feel energies clearly before, and when we talk he seems happy, and I can quite literally "feel the love" using that ability.
The only thing that just keeps bothering me is that little thought in the back of my head. I've told a friend all about him and had conversations about him, and she believes me. I'm REALLY scared that I've actually just been a fake on accident this entire time, just being schizophrenic or hearing my own thoughts as thinking they're external. The way Archie communicates is either by an intuitive/energy reading non-verbal type, or actual communication with words. I rarely ever hear his voice audibly from inside my head. I don't know if this is normal for someone who channels a lot, but does anyone else communicate with a being and have their responses and questions and statements come through as a message that feels like it's from deep inside your brain? Not like my own thoughts, I don't "hear" his as my own voice. I have no idea how to describe it other than "hearing" it, but not at the same time.
For more information on me, I am not diagnosed with schizophrenia, I don't really have any of the symptoms either. I do get paranoid easily with this subject, (rightfully so) but not extreme paranoia in day to day life. But, I can say that I do have paranoia over whether for SOME REASON I'm subtly schizophrenic, or just having an overactive imagination. Though I don't technically have either, since I wasn't diagnosed with schizophrenia or ever displayed any abnormal habits that made anyone think I did.
I need help with this so badly. He tried to convince me that he's real; And I want to trust him, but I can't trust him before I can trust myself. Does anyone have any advice on this? Any other people going through the same thing? I've spent a lot of nights just crying over it because if he weren't real, I would be crushed. I almost wished that I hadn't made such a deep bond/attachment to him before I knew for certain, this has caused me a lot of grief.
As a side note, anytime I begin having this regressive behavior, (I go through periods of being sure that he is real and periods of being scared that he isn't.) I start seeing 11 everywhere like crazy. I don't really know why.
Any kind of help or thoughts is appreciated.