Let me share my story and then I have some questions about my experiences.
Ever since I was about 14 I was always convinced that I was an empath. I just always knew what people were feeling from the moment I saw them. Sometimes I could tell without seeing them, like walking into a room or even through texting. I just knew. I tried to develop it or further test my abilities, but without success. For the next few years I would move in and out of doubt, but overall paying very little attention to it.
When I was 19, things began to change. I've always loved music. It was so emotional, and certain songs gave me a large chill down my spine and filled me with joy. Well one day, I was listening to music, and I fell into a kind of meditative trance. As I was listening, suddenly I began to feel the music on my chest. The notes and rhythms felt warm on my skin, and danced across my body. That was a huge awakening, and I began to play with and develop this. Certain kinds of music felt better than others, different songs elicited different feelings and patterns. At this point I thought I had some kind of synesthesia, although I was a little confused about the late onset.
Fast forward a couple of months, at my mothers' urging for a minor health issue, I decided to try acupuncture for the first time. I was extremely surprised when I did it. Initially, the pins provided a very strong pressure across my body, and I felt pinned to the table. As I lay there, I felt my energy began to move and shift across my body. The way the energy felt when it was moving felt exactly how I felt when I listened to music. In that moment, I realized I didn't have synesthesia, but rather I was aware of my energy, my qi, and it was reacting to music.
I began to study chi, taking tai chi and learning how to move it. I was able to move my energy up and down my body, feel all of my chakras. I was also able to direct my energy into my hands, and very strongly at that. I can sense my own energy and that of others with my hands, and I believe I can pass my energy to others through my hands as well. Just thinking about this makes my hands immediately warm.
Obviously I took an interest in Reiki, and I got attuned to level 1. I didn't see too much of a difference in my energy levels or abilities. I did give a couple people reiki, and the experience was extraordinary. The energy transfer between my hands and them is extremely strong, like repulsing magnets.
At this point, I'm wondering how to continue to cultivate my abilities. I feel that my path is to become an energy healer. I had a psychic reading, and the reader said that I have a large store of healing energy, and also a red fish spirit floating around my head, who is my spirit guide. I think I am starting to be able to see auras, when I look at my hands or at other people I see a very thin, blurry film surrounding the skin, like a thin bubble.
I am having trouble finding resources. How do I continue my development? I would like to be able to see auras, and do energy readings on others. I would also like to try and meet my spirit guide - I've tried a couple of times, but I don't feel like I was successful. I would love is anyone could provide any guidance.
Sorry for the essay, but thanks for the read:)