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I Feel A Connection To Something Else

 

From an early age, my mom has described me as a "morbid" and possibly troubled child, for reasons I couldn't identify until about a year ago. I used to draw very disturbing images; sometimes they were someone bleeding out, other times someone was being choked; I know, pretty average for a creepy kid, right? She considered taking me to therapy, but she figured I'd grow out of it eventually. As I got older, things only seemed to get worse. When I was 9 years old, we moved away from the town that I grew up in and we moved further into the state to a strange looking house, compared to the other places I've lived. When we came in, I felt a very strong connection to this one room. It was weird, it just made me feel like I was under a trance. It was upstairs, and there was a square window on the opposite side of the room to the door. On the right side of the window, there was a nook. (A small cut-out of the wall where there are two small windows and a small sitting area.) I claimed the room as my own and I felt something there, and it was almost calming. It wasn't like anything I'd ever felt before; I felt scared and unsettled, but at the same time, I felt safe and loved. Anyway, skip a year or two, and my oldest sister is sharing that same room with me, except it's now pink. Something I should mention is the closet. It was a walk in and on the ceiling of the closet, there looked like there was a block or something you could move to get into the crawl space with all the wires. Anyways, my sister told me some really weird things about some nights that we shared that room. She told me that one night when she just came home from her classes, (she was a college student at the time), I was drawing on a chalkboard that we had made, but it was white chalkboard paint that I was using. I drew a frowney face that had words below it, but they were backwards. (I'll try to provide pictures for all of my claims.) She also told me that many nights, I would sit up straight in my bed and stare at her, which I hadn't remembered ever doing. My sister said she used to get to the point where she was yelling at me to lay back down to sleep, but I would continuously stare at her. My sister moved out a year later and I had the room to myself; which is what made everything a lot worse. I got paranoid, the darkness became normal for me, and I almost always felt a lingering presence behind me. I could almost feel someone cupping my cheek, or wrapping their arm around my shoulders, or even just placing a hand on my shoulder. The most common ones were the cheek cupping and the feeling of someone stroking my hair, which would put me to sleep when I cried. I had a lot of strange nightmares, too. Though, I forgot a lot of them. When I moved into a room across the hall from my first room, I was absolutely devastated. I had a near death experience in my new room, too. I woke up one morning and I wasn't able to breathe, and I couldn't understand why. After a little bit of thrashing around, I could breathe again. Eventually I moved into the downstairs junior bedroom, but every time I walked up and down the stairs to what we call "The Pink Room" (the room at the beginning of the story) and my current bedroom, I feel that same presence that I feel in the pink room. I think something followed me. I began drawing again in the downstairs room and whenever I drew, it felt like someone was guiding my hand across the paper and making it look good. There's so much that happened in that room, but I'll make it short. 1. I find the petrified bodies of lizards all around my room, at least 2 a week. There's a blue one on my dresser currently. 2. The light became unbearable and I can't stay in the light in that room for more than 10 minutes. 3. Candles randomly flare up above the glass or go out completely, even though I don't use my fans since it's winter. 4. I hear whispers and slight voices, and they tell me some things that are either good or bad. 5. The touching feeling because a lot more common. I once was crying and I felt a finger wipe my tear away, I mean, that's what it felt like. 6. I'd randomly get nosebleeds (I know they're common, I just thought I'd mention it.) Sometimes I feel like I'm not in control of myself, and I've tried to do things that I wouldn't do to myself, or to other people. I feel like someone is with me and has been for the past 7 years (we moved here almost 8 years ago.) While I finished typing this, a painting that had been sitting perfectly on a table near where I'm sitting fell quite close to me. Can anyone offer any help or insight?

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