Can someone please let me know if I'm either crazy, have an overactive imagination, or something else?
For over 15 years now, I have been experiencing something during my sleep, where I get "stuck" between sleep and consciousness. When it first started to happen in my teens, I just thought it was a recurring dream. But as I got older, I was able to realize that I wasn't dreaming at all, but I wasn't awake either. During this state, I cannot move. Not even an inch. Years ago, all I would see was black, and I could "sense" something happening around me, i.e. I would feel my bed dip down at the foot, leading me to believe something was sitting down there. It wasn't until recently that I talked to a friend a year ago, that said I should try to "open my vision" during the experiences. Sure enough, the next time it happened, I did. And oh my God, what followed.
The only way I can explain it, is that whatever position my body & head is laying in when I get stuck in this altered state, dictates my field of vision. I cannot move a muscle, but I can "see" through my closed eyes in the direction my head is in, and my vision is as clear as plain day. It's freaky because when I actually do regain full consciousness and open my eyes, I end up seeing the same field of vision I saw through my "other eyes" I guess. I can't talk, but I can hear my voice talking inside. So a year ago, I started seeing black shadows around the room. I would be terrified. Worse so, I couldn't will myself to gain consciousness right away. So I would close my "eyes" (that were already closed in the first place) and try to wake myself up through my breathing. After this happened a few times (freaking out my girlfriend) I'd become conscious and sit up with my heart racing a mile a minute.
One night, the spirit got hostile, but that's because I provoked it. I was so upset one night, (scared) that I must have made a terrible face with my eyes (because I couldn't do anything else), because I wanted them to go away (mainly because I didn't understand what I was experiencing) and consequently the spirit got in my face and started flailing its arms at me. Needless to say that freaked me out.
So recently, and for the FIRST time, I decided to relax and to try to communicate. It happened again last night. And for the first time, I saw an actual entity. It was a woman wearing a blue dress. She was so close to my face that I could only see her torso and the top of her chest, I couldn't see her face at all because I can't move my head in this state. My first reaction was fear, but then I calmed down and was actually curious. I repeated a few times in my mind "who are you?" But I didn't get an answer. Finally I regained full consciousness, opened my eyes to only see the same field of view that I was looking at before, but the spirit wasn't there anymore.
I am a 30 year old man that is very much in touch with reality. Someone please tell me what the hell is happening to me. I need to make sense of this.