For those unfamiliar with the post I did not long ago, I have always had a few curious abilities. One of which is when I write stories, the things that happen in the stories to the characters, usually happen to the people in real life the characters are based on. I also have had some experiences with willing things to happen, or 'manifestation'.
When I write, it just seems to flow from me, there's little editing and somehow I already know the full story and how things will progress, and it seems I don't have to think or imagine it at all. If I try to change something, I get a bad feeling as in 'No, that's not how it happens'.
A few months ago I was just writing away a fantasy (swords, elves and what not) when I realized that a few chapters back, I had written about the character based upon my REAL LIFE wife dying. She died young, and leaving behind a daughter. Well, I was a bit turned off by this because I recognized many similarities in how I wrote it, compared to previous writings of mine that have come true. When we found out that my wife was pregnant with a little girl, I almost lost it because it was turning out just how I wrote it.
I was confused, lost, scared, many things for a long time.
I finally thought that hey, maybe, just maybe if I have some wacky power to see the future, and I also can kind of change things in the here and now, maybe I can CHANGE the future. I received some encouragement from a few members here and planned to sit down and give it a shot of actually concentrating on saving my wife (not sure if the whole thing is true, but it's better to be safe than sorry eh?). Well, before I had made the attempt I had a dream, which is strange for me so I don't know if it's real or just my imagination, because I have never had dreams that were anything but dreams before.
In this dream, it's progressing just like a normal dream where it resembles life with a few things out of place or time, and then suddenly out of nowhere, a cousin, who was standing in front of me in the dream, his head shot back and then forward, he was instantly... I want to say glowing, but it was a very muted red, his hair was suddenly spiked as if he were caught in a blast and his mouth was wider than before and eyes were rolled back.
It wasn't my cousin, I could tell it was something else (I don't want to say the word Demon in reference because that just sounds silly to me) he said, exactly "Something horrible will happen in the near future" and I woke up.
Was it a warning? A threat? I don't know. But I decided to act. Yesterday I concentrated, I decided I was going to change my wife's fate. We are going to grow old together and be happy. Nothing will happen to her. I was amazed.
In such a short time, honestly it was only like a minute later, I felt as if someone else were thinking in my own head, as if communicating somehow, guiding my thoughts for me. He told me alright. He said I had the power to, but someone would need to take her place. He said it was my wife's destiny to die, so if I changed that, someone who wasn't suppose to die would have to fill in. I broke away instantly, it freaked me out.
I couldn't concentrate on that same level, even though it only took me a minute to get there, but I wanted to say "Ok, I'll take her place". Or anything, I didn't know.
Later in the afternoon, we got a phone call. My wife's grandmother, the sweetest old lady you've ever met, had to suddenly go to the hospital yesterday morning. She was healthy, I just saw her a few days ago. There was a blood clot, or something in her brain. She was stable at the moment though, but the doctors were looking.
Again... I was counting the minutes. If she died, how could I ever do anything BUT blame myself?
In my head I declared, trying to talk to whoever was talking with me earlier. "One year... Just give us one year. Let grandma see her first great grandchild. You're set on taking her, just give us one year..." I heard no response.
"Just one year" I tried to think of a reason why we should get the extra year, and I was angry, so knew nothing else but that anger, "Out of respect for me, how many others can do the things I can? Grant me this, this one year to be with her or by all I know I'll figure out a way to crush you..."
It was a silly thing to say. I still am not sure if I am just the victim of a wild imagination. But I felt a resignation. Not in me, but empathic, as if someone else had agreed.
We got another call about 2 hours later. Grandma is doing fine, just the doctors want her to stay in the hospital for a bit to do some tests and make sure she's relaxed and taken care of.
If it's all crap, and I'm just talking with myself, oh well. If not... I mean... Wow, you know? How would I feel the things I do/feel like I'm talking to someone/feel like something else is guiding my thoughts as a way of communicating?