My friend Jenna has recently been going through some troubled times. She often relapses into bouts of depression where she keeps to herself and lashes out to anyone who tries to reach out to her. She is a medium, and a psychic. I'm the only one who really understands what she goes through because I have the same thing. I just deal with it better. It is partially because she feels very alone in life; she thinks that her parents don't love her anymore and often cuts herself to, in her words, "let my anger pour out of me".
I've been worried about Jenna for a long time. I mean, I know I would be struggling if I were in her position, but there's just something about her cutting herself that has me on edge. And it's not like I don't have other friends that cut themselves, the only thing is, their cutting doesn't bother me like Jenna's does.
For about a month, Jenna avoided cutting herself. Then, today, she told me she was going to cut herself again. I was thrown suddenly into the future and I saw three possibilities- one, that she was going to end up killing herself by slitting her wrists. Two that she was going to try and give up at the last minute. And three that she was going to be discovered and saved by friends or family. I told her about it and she shrugged it off, saying she was going to try but that I shouldn't worry.
Then, she wrote me a note saying this-
Never forget me
Forget me never
But if you forget me
Forget me forever
I gave her a sad smile and told her that it was unwise, but I had already seen the future and I knew it was unlikely to change.
In homeroom, Jenna was standing next to me and she got this bliss-out expression on her face. I looked down and I saw long ragged scratch dripping blood on her arm. She said, "I feel so good now. It's like all the bad feelings have slipped away." As soon as she spoke I felt the emotions she had just claimed to have slipped away from her glide onto me. I was crushed in depression and anger as I gasped for air and tried to keep from blacking out.
I begged her not to cut herself in school, to at least wait until she got home. She didn't understand and as she worsened her wound, her emotions filled me even more.
I struggled to keep her emotions in check until she left. As soon as we were a mile away from each other it stopped, thankfully. I'm worried now that if she slits her wrists she will end up dying, but I'm also worried that I might end up dying along with her. I mean, just from her onslaught of feelings from a small scratch nearly made me pass out, what would a full on cut do?
Thanks for all advice. It is desperately needed.