To say I had an awkward teenage life is an understatement. To complicate things, I began becoming aware of odd coincidences, bad feelings about car-rides, abandoned houses, calling people in the middle of the night to check on their safety, feeling the urge to complete odd rituals that I have had no experience with before, only to discover later that they actually exist. (Binding, sage cleansing, etc. I was brought up a strict catholic.)
Some of my friends thought I was psychic, others thought I was dangerous, and still others thought I was insane. I didn't really know what to think of it, so I chose to ignore and suppress it. This, of course, was a terrible idea. As a mature adult, I've become prone to feel sensations, smells, or sights of traumatic accidents either a week or a day before they occur. I imagine that this could simply be a coincidence, but after having the pattern repeated a number of times, I can no longer ignore it. For example, I recently was driving with my fiancé, who frequently experiences déjà vu, and while we were at a stop light, I felt the sensation of being thrown into the glass of the front window. We hadn't had an accident, we hadn't moved. I mentioned it to my fiancé, he looked at me quizzically, and we drove on to Lowe's. Not more than a day later, a friend of mine gets into a car accident, because the steering box in his Jeep went out. He was wearing his seatbelt, but his passenger was not and subsequently smashed into the windshield, garnering himself a few cuts and a concussion. It wasn't the first time I sensed a car accident coming (perhaps because of my fear of them.)
A year ago, I saw what I thought to be a death's head. I freaked out and told everyone I loved to be careful driving. A week later, while driving to Rutgers, a tractor-trailer rear-ended the dump-truck in front of him, causing said truck to veer into oncoming traffic, taking the car in front of me and itself into the ditch beside the road. The woman in the vehicle, unfortunately, expired. The same day, my friend pulled a woman out of a car that had been side-swiped in front of his auto repair shop. Two days later, I witnessed a second accident, in which a young couple were making a left turn and were also side-swiped. To say the least, it was very unnerving.
I should also mention that a majority of my friends tend to be of the same talent persuasion as I (albeit unintentionally, they are usually just as embarrassed/uncomfortable with it as I am), I may be potentially aware of bad spirits (energy?), and I usually know who's calling me. I haven't had the ritual urge in ages, though I am attracted to Celtic traditions. It feels a bit more natural to me than conventional Catholicism.
I'm not entirely sure what to do. Should I tell people when I have these feelings, or keep it to myself? I don't particularly like the idea of being considered a crazy person. I also want to know if I were to "focus" on this potential talent, if I would see more than just accidents. I'd like to see something nice for once, you know, bunnies or a rainbow. So am I completely bonkers?