I'm pretty sure that this isn't a vision of the past and I know I wasn't dreaming as I could hear my parents downstairs up until the point where the vision began. I am eighteen and I have never had a boyfriend, so this very well could be a product of that desire, conscious or otherwise. In any event, I was lying on my bed, the lights off, the window open. I try to keep it open as much as possible; I like being as close to nature as the social norm my parents are under will allow. As I stated before, I wasn't dreaming, in fact I wasn't even asleep when it occurred, which made me think it could be an out of body experience, but it just wasn't. But perhaps describing the moment to you would help.
I was lying face down in a bed similar to my present one, but I knew this bed to be mine. I had been upset about something- a death or something I had done that had been the equivalent (in my opinion). But it also felt like I had just been in a fight. A physical fight for my life.
I was in sweats and a t-shirt with bare feet and my waist down was covered with a light blanket. But I felt another person there, sitting next to me. If you were standing at my head facing me, the person would be on my right. And I knew him. I was so glad to just take in his presence. He must have been a lover of some sort and he was just there. He gently rubbed my back in a sort of clockwise motion, like when a mother is trying to get the baby to sleep and she rubs it's back. I stirred and kind of looked at him, because I had been asleep, yet still aware of him. He said "Shhhh. It's alright now." I hadn't been crying. I rested my head back down on my arms, which had been used as pillows, and fell back asleep, but I still felt as though I could scream, just start crying, but I didn't. I knew I wanted to just collapse in his arms, despite the comfort I already felt. And he just continued to rub my back and stroke my hair. And he was definitely not the enemy.
He was someone I never wanted to let go of, even when the vision ended. And the room we were in was similar to mine now. The bed is opposite a window so that when I wake up, the outdoors are the first thing I see. It was dark, both outside and in the room, which also felt like it would be painted in dark browns. And I could feel the presence of wood, if that makes much sense. I actually new it was used on the floors and as a border on the walls. The window was wide open, screen and all, and the moon was very bright. I remember feeling a bit nervous, like whatever had occurred previous to my being here would have repercussions or would occur again. But with him there, my mind stopped it's wandering and my fears ceased. And then I heard him say, although it sounded like it was somewhere in the background, "It has been very difficult for her." He continued to comfort me in that same constant manner. And the vision just ended.
I don't know if this is something that's going to occur or if it's a past life. I'm very confused. I've had prophetic dreams and similar ones that come true. A friend and I have even shared a similar dream. But I have never experienced anything like this. I wasn't meditating, I wasn't doing anything. I was just trying to fall asleep. I know I didn't because as I said before, my parents were speaking downstairs and the TV was on. I could hear those things before and after the vision. I've looked at several possibilities, but none seem to quite add up or describe what I experienced.
Also, I knew what he looked like. I never really got that great of a look at him, but before the vision ended, I was almost like a third party (the rest of the time I had remained me, like 1st person format in a book). I could see him looking down at me. He had a clear green gaze, brown scraggly looking hair that went down to just about his chin, but it was at all different lengths. He had a slightly pointed face and a strong jaw. He was very tan and seemed very strong with very lean muscle. And he had a sort of beard. It was more stubble, like he hadn't had the time to shave or do anything hygienic. And he looked tired, but the warmth never faded from his eyes. He also looked serious too. Almost like he could reprimand me, like a parent would their child, but it was not that severe. He just understood the weight of the situation. The way he held himself, too, was like he was shielding me from something I couldn't see.
Now, I'm not trying to be egotistical here, but I usually have pretty good senses in the regard that I can pick up things that people usually can not. So, I wondered why now, that I was not alert when there was this apparent danger? I talked with my very good friend about it, and she experiences dreams like mine and listens because she has gone through similar experiences. But she could not come up with a definite answer to what it was. I would really like to know what it is I experienced so that I can take as much from it as possible. Feedback from any one would be wonderful and very helpful!
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