Since I was a child I have found it interesting and sort of fun how I can see images "inside my eyelids." I don't know another way to describe it. I've always thought it was just the light coming through my eyelids making funny squiggly lines and various color splotches. Nothing ever had any definition, it was just meaningless shapes and colors. Until now.
It's so hard to describe what I've been "seeing" lately and up until tonight I haven't given too much thought to the meaning of these crazy visions. Tonight was very vivid and this time other things happened that have me frightened to my core. I will try to describe it as best as I can without sounding like I've completely lost my mind.
First, let me back up a little bit and go back to early February, close to Valentine's Day. These visions usually happen when I am waking up in the morning, often before there is light in the room. I had this vision of the earth, looking down from space. My visions are usually black and white and sometimes a splash of color will come through. This vision showed the earth in black, white, and grays but it was beautiful. Bright and full of energy. All of a sudden, this tiny black mass appeared and rapidly spread around the entire planet and I know that something horrible was happening and I had the feeling of complete devastation and fear. It was like a movie that kept playing over and over. The earth would repeatedly go from bright and beautiful to completely covered in darkness and death. When I opened my eyes I felt such dread and sadness. I just laid in bed wondering why I experienced that.
Tonight was horrible. It is now 4:18 AM. This happened about an hour ago. I usually wake up around 3:30 in the morning and just turn my Kindle on and read a few minutes which puts me back to sleep. I could not get back to sleep tonight so I decided to close my eyes and hope for sleep to come. The visions started right away, as soon as I closed my eyelids. It was silhouettes of me and my husband kissing and embracing each other. Happiness and love. Then this dark mass enshrouded us and he was gone and I saw myself running through trees and by an ocean like I was trying to get away from something. Suddenly there was a big black dog in front of me and I felt joy. But then I'm facing another man. This huge heart forms around us and this brilliant purple light splashed out around us. Somehow I knew I had lost my husband and this was another man but I was happy about it, like it was a second chance or something. Hard to describe.
But then things turn very dark and I felt a horrible presence in my room. I open my eyes and suddenly I feel like I'm in a wind tunnel. This strong wind is blowing right in my face and I see this black cloud/mass on my husband's side of the bed. He wasn't there (not uncommon, he often goes to the couch and watches TV if he can't sleep). I knew this was not good and I felt an all-encompassing fear - I knew this was something very bad.
I started saying out loud "if you're evil or bad, get out." I said it over and over. I saw the black mass go off the bed onto the floor. I sat up and turned on the light and I was shaking and so completely freaked out. My glasses and my eye drops which are always on my nightstand were on the floor. I've never experienced anything like this. I probably didn't describe this as well as I should.
These visions are usually blurry images that fluidly come and go and it's not so much what I see but how I feel when an image appears. The wind was so crazy. I've never experienced that.
Now that I think about the earth image I'm wondering if I was sensing the upcoming pandemic because this was right before it hit. So I'm very freaked out about what tonight's experience was all about. I'm absolutely terrified.
I googled "visions" and found this site. I would love to hear if anyone can make sense of this. It's not "fun" anymore!