As much as I wish I had abilities like others here do, I only get wee bits of it. I would love to be able to know things and be able to heal and many other positive things that could be possible with such abilities.
I can't deny that with what I believe, I find I have MANY people in my life who DO have psychic type abilities. I have many little stories I could share.
One such person is my step father. He always talked about premonitions when I was very young, which fascinated me, but I never could quite grasp what he was really talking about. As an adult, I have discussed it with him a little more and it is really neat to share something so special with a person who seems so closed minded a lot of the time.
Getting to the story: My biological grandfather was a very important person in my life. I loved him very much and was very close to him. I was the first grandchild and we had a very tight bond, mainly in my younger years. In many ways he was like a father figure to me and I just adored him... I can't really put it into words. He was diagnosed with cancer when I was about 14 years old. I remember feeling very sad but wasn't totally accepting or aware of exactly how this whole death thing would work out. I had other relatives and such die in my young life, but never really grasped it. I got to see him one last time before he was totally bed ridden. He lived a couple hours away so we couldn't just see him any time. That last visit was weird because I could see that his mind was not all there. His normally sparkling blue eyes were dull. His hair was all gone and his normally strong, masculine arms and appearance was weak. I always remembered his hands. I liked them, but don't know why. Maybe I just have good memories of watching them bait an fishhook, or build something.
The day he died, I came downstairs preparing to leave for school, I was 15 at that time. I remember my mother crying out uncontrollably and my step dad had a pale shocked look on his face. I asked him what was wrong. He told me that he wasn't certain, but he thought my grandfather had just passed away. Now, it was my mother's birthday, and I could tell he had barely been able to share his premonition with her, and understandably so. Just as he finished telling me what he thought had happened, his pager went off. We grew up mostly dirt poor and once again, we had to telephone service because we didn't pay a bill. I walked with him to the corner market to use the pay phone. Sure enough, my uncle or step grandmother informed my step dad that grandpa had passed just a short while earlier that morning. I couldn't believe it. I was not shocked it felt normal to hear such a thing, though it was the first and only time I was there to see it happen to my step dad.
Before his death, my mother had taken one of my little brothers to go see him. She told me she didn't want me to see him because he was in a hospital bed and was very emaciated looking and couldn't care for himself. It is hard to picture, because that is not at all how I remember him. My step dad tells me to this day he occasionally has a visit in a dream from my grandpa and he knows it is a visit instead of a dream because he wakes up afterward feeling strange and he smells a musty scent in his nose.
I have dreams about my grandfather, too, from time to time, and it has been 13 years after his passing. In my dreams, I discover that he is alive and I feel terrible guilt because I had thought he was dead all this time. I greet him and we go walking and the dream ends. I think every time we are near water, like at a lake or river. I wake up and feel very sad that the dream was just a dream. Now and then, I catch myself thinking of him and I will just bawl with sadness as if he has just passed away. I always pray that he will visit me and communicate with me, but it never happens.
Is my unrest because I don't feel I ever got closure? Is his appearing in thoughts and dreams his way of telling me he is only dead on our physical plane? If he is trying to teach me something, I get frustrated because I seem so incapable of things like meditation or zoning out to be able to feel and know things.
I hope to share other ways my 'special' kind of friends are in my life and we have been drawn to each other in the future here.