Good Morning Everyone,
I got to get something off my chest and I know this may sound weird to some and I feel awful about this and I don't know who else I can share this with. On August 14th a friend of a friend died. I didn't know this guy very well. We will say his name is Ernie for confidential reasons. I talked to him online here and there and I saw him once last year.
I was on facebook one day a month ago and I went to this guy's profile and kept looking at his picture and his status updates. Out of nowhere I got this overwhelming feeling and said to myself, "he is not going to live much longer." I can't really explain why I got this feeling, but it was strong. I actually shed a tear. Well on Friday night, he died in his sleep. It is like I knew it was going to happen before it did. I was up until 4 am this morning consoling his Ernie's best friend, who I am very good friends with. I feel awful. I almost feel like it is my fault. I didn't wish death on him, I just felt it was going to happen. Has this ever happened to anyone? I feel horrible now. Here I am consoling his best friend and it is almost like I knew this was going to happen.
What does this mean? Was this just a one time experience, or will I go through something like this again? Is this a gift, or is this a curse? I am scared out of my wits over this and I feel I have no one to talk to and no one who will understand me without thinking I am crazy. My heart breaks for my friend and I almost feel like my thoughts were the cause of this.