I wasn't sure where to post this but recently I think I have "re-discovered" my psychic abilities. Something really weird has happened and I think I might have some sort of dark spirit attached to me and I don't know what to do. I'm going to give the background first so bare with me as it is probably going to be a long story. For a full history on stuff I've experienced go to my bio. All of the following pertains to my most recent experience.
I never experienced anything to crazy until after my parents divorced and I went to live with my mom in a different house and began to suffer from depression around age 14. Before that when I was really young I had experience things but nothing like this. I think it had something to do with me being emotionally weak at that time. I began to feel like something had found me and attached itself. I started seeing shadows out of the corner of my eye. I used to draw a lot and I found myself drawing this picture of a girl a lot. She was shadowy seemed to almost wear a long flowing dress (no feet) and had dark long hair and I could never picture her face. I often found myself wanting to draw her with spikes around her or stabbing through her and her reaching out for something.
Then one morning I was in the bathroom and felt this terrible feeling come over me. The shower was running (the psychic told me running water would help me when it came to any sort of psychic stuff but I didn't know that until recently a couple years after this incident.) I felt the need to protect myself (I can't remember if I heard it or just felt it). I locked the door curled up and just started crying, I could feel something coming for me and it looked just like the girl I had been drawing. She was clawing up the stairs and I just kept telling myself it would be ok and asking for some sort of help but I swear it felt like I was going to die if I opened the door or if she got to me. I finally calmed down and convinced myself it was just some serious problem as a result of my depression. I stopped drawing for about 4 years outside of required things for art class after that. The girl continually haunted my mind whenever I was thinking of drawing something. I'd never experienced something as vivid as that or experience or seen a figure like her until that time.
I managed to shove all of that stuff out of my mind until recently (i'm 18 now) I went through another phase of depression and I decided drawing may help me. I drew a particular moment that had made me depressed and I found myself drawing that girl again. I felt like she is attached to everything negative in my life.
For the longest time I simply put it off as being childhood fantasy until more recently. When I was thinking about my past experiences. I remembered that last one and I decided I would try meditating again. As I began to remember all of these things I started feeling very uncomfortable. I was alone in my house and suddenly I felt uncomfortable next to having a panic attack. I haven't had any issues with that or depression in over a year and a half so it was weird. I was uncomfortable and I felt a need to lock myself in my bathroom and ran the shower and meditated. At first I thought I would try for an out of body experience but as soon as I felt myself leaving I saw a shadowy figure standing right next to me and I rushed back to my body because I was afraid.
I could feel the girl but this time I knew I was stronger so I decided to confront her. I kept asking her
"why are you after me? Are you a spirit? Are you some sort of demon?" and she wouldn't answer me then suddenly she flashed her face and it was terrifying like something out of the exorcist. I felt like I saw it in my head though not in the sense as being right in front of me. It felt like she was attached to me and no matter what I said to her or asked of her she just kept smiling at me with her ridiculously horrifying smile. I told her to leave me alone and finally I said to myself "she must be some sort of demon" and her smile just widened. I kept trying to tear the image out of my head but it kept coming back. I asked for help for something to protect me.
I focused on my breathing again and thought maybe if I focused on it I could force her presence out or away from my body. I felt like I pushed it away but it wouldn't leave me completely. I continued to ask for help and saw green, blue, purple, then white. Afterwards I felt the presence of something coming to pull the shadow away from me. Then another presence joined it and they pushed it away and I felt myself also push it away. When it was over I felt comfortable again. Also I think one of the spirits that helped me was my aunt (mtf trans aunt I could feel her and heard her whisper to me and say it would be ok that she would watch out for me). Last time I went to the psychic I asked to contact her and one of the times when I meditated I sought her out and managed to get ahold of her and talk for a minuet so I guess I opened that door.
Part of me still feels the other spirit lurking but I did feel a lot more comfortable after that last time I meditated and like my aunt is watching over me closely now.
Sorry for how long the post is I feel like I'm sort of new to this stuff. I've always considered myself logical, reasonable, and generally I haven't really believed in this sort of stuff but the more I learn about it and the more I think of my childhood the more it seems like it is legitimate.
I'm assuming this is some sort of bad spirit but I don't know how connected it really is to me. I'm not sure if it recently tried to reconnect with me as a result of me remembering that incident 4 years ago. I think I may have brought it back I don't know. I also don't know what to do about it. I don't know that much about all this stuff but I would like some help on how to deal with this stuff. I don't think I'm crazy or anything I've never had any issues with anything but depression and I have been long past the issues I faced with that.
Thanks for reading