I Am Having Difficulty With Accepting My Gift

My name is Tonya. I am a 28 year old female. My current occupation is a nurse. There have been several instances that I have experienced as a child and as an adult. These things make me very uncomfortable and uneasy. I'm not exactly sure what to do about them. Can anyone offer me any suggestions? This is my story.

I was about 10 - 12 when I was getting dressed at my grandparent's house in my bedroom. It was the late morning and I was using a full length mirror on the back of my bedroom door that faced a window that over looked our front porch. I was brushing my hair when I glanced up over my right shoulder and was frightened by a legless man in a red gingham striped shirt. He had a long beard and mustache and long black hair. I immediately turned around to see who it was and there was no one there. I went outside and still no one. Several years later in a conversation with my grandmother I discovered that another home once stood on the exact spot where their home was located. The home had belonged to a man who had two sons. When the man died there was a dispute over the property rights and one brother who looked just like the man I saw that day died inside the home when the other brother set the home on fire. There have been several other events but what has led me here was an event that happened tonight. I was out with my husband, son, and sister and brother in law at my brother and sister in law's home. It was late around 9pm and my brother in law wanted to show us this old house his father had once attempted to renovate. No other information was given to me. We had walked quite a ways before the home came into view. I was ok until we got to the edge of the fence when all of a sudden I was overcome with a strong feeling of anger and sadness and felt someone telling me to not enter the home. I felt as if a heavy wet blanket was on top of me and I could not move. I refused to go into the home and my husband, son, and brother in law went inside while my sister in law and I stayed outside. Everyone says they were only in there for 10 minute at the most but it felt like hours to me. There was a man, with a gun, he did not want me to enter his home. He kept telling me no, no do not come in here. It was forceful and demanding, very insistent. As the time passed I heard a small child yelling for help, a young boy. At first I thought it was my child and then realized that my sister in law heard nothing. The child was drowning, he had fallen into a hole and could not get out. His mother and older brother were trying but they could not reach him. The mother cried out to me to help her but I could not. Later on I was asking about someone falling and drowning and I was told that they did not know if someone had drown but that there was an old well that had been covered over with metal and sealed up for over 100 years. I felt the mother's emotions and tears ran down my face as I watched the scene unfold. These people were dressed in civil war era clothing so I know that it was not a recent event. As we were leaving my husband touched my arm and jumped back. He asked me what was wrong because I was ice cold and sweat had saturated my clothing and hair. It was about 88 outside at the time. I just don't know what I should do. Is there anyone out there with any suggestions? PLEASE HELP!