What happens to those that have committed suicide numerous times in their past lives? I'm talking they've done it 20 times such as me. I believe so. Because my aunt who is spiritual says it's not good that in my past lives that I killed myself that it puts "extra" heavy weights in the life I'm in right now and I do feel like my life is stressful like I just want to be gone from it already. Anyway what happens? What are the results o the outcome when one has had many previous life times they killed themselves in the life they are in now? Is it true that my life gets harder because of the mistakes I made in my past lives?
For example I'm scared of heights because I jumped off mountains bridges boats cliffs buildings possibly because I was so depressed or o had a hard time dealing with my life. I've seen it in images and that's why I'm so scared of the ocean as well because the ocean a dark place for me because I jumped and was maybe pushed off into the dark cold ocean or sea it was scary. I remember in my meditation I was a guy running and jumping on my back and I was dead, I was running really fast, breathing really hard sometimes I don't even want to think about it because it's traumatizing for me and not something I look forward in knowing. To give you a bit more Information in my recent past life, I was a guy I know this because I always felt like a man at times when I was younger and, I can relate to it as well and I was scared of throwing up and getting really sick that had to do with vomiting, I was scared also looking at Others throwing up but what my spirit guide has told me that in my recent past life I suffered from the disease aids and I died in my sleep really young. So maybe I'm not sure why I feel like my life is hard and I have a hard time dealing with my emotions and my family and in my recent past life I hated my family because discriminated me for being bi sexual.
Ps I'm a medium myself as well. But I have a hard time dealing with it I have a bit of fear of it.
There is a likelihood that part of your role here is to help others. The teacher, leader, healer and caretaker often come from a place of suffering in their youth. This builds their character and speeds up their track to enlightenment. Why would we work on ourselves if it was just given to us? We wouldn't. In fact, I've read in near death experiences that they see souls coming to earth because the challenge simply doesn't exist in the higher planes. We come here for very fast growth (but yes, in some cases, it's a step backwards). These "lessons" are to quicken your spiritual evolution so that, in time, you can help others. It's the people that have walked the challenging path that are the best service to others. So what first appears to be 'bad happenings' often end up viewed as life's blessings. I know that's really hard to see now, but down the road, you'll look back and understand. I've written before of my own youth which would shock a lot of people; orphanage, abuse, abandonment, etc. But this was the building block so that I could later learn love and forgiveness.
You are perfect. You're perfectly working on exactly what you need to be working on right now. These things, unbeknownst to our conscious mind, perfectly unfold.
Be sure to take some nice time out for yourself, if you can, and smooth out your emotions and thoughts. A hot bath, an uplifting book, or a quiet walk. I have two dogs that always keep me laughing and loving. Empaths need to take extra care of themselves.