I am writing about my metaphysical and psychic experiences because I'm at a point where they are interfering with my daily activities and responsibilities.
I've been an Empath from a very young age; I also have sensed energy, spirits, ghost, and felt that my gift was a curse. My Mother would always tell me that if I am different, that that was ok. For many years she would ask me if there was something I wanted to tell her, and repeated to me that if I was different it is ok. I had no clue what she was talking about, and in my early and mid teens I thought she may have believed I was gay/lesbian. When I asked her, she would just laugh. Come to find out later, she was referring to my gifts (15 years later that is.)
I ignored them, and began a long term love affair with drugs to numb me, and prevent the intense and unforeseen receiving of emotions and energy. Throughout my teens, and drug use, it only happened once a year or so, which was much better than a few times a week. It would happen when in an instant, when I would touch something, or someone would touch me. I rarely touched people, even my family, because of this ability, still to this day; I am not comfortable with physical contact without warning.
After 8 years of numbing, I went to treatment to get clean. My views on life drastically changed, I'm not sure exactly what brought this about. I left treatment early. After, I read many spiritual books, and practiced meditation and energy work regularly. After 3 months of this, everything came back to me. I moved into a new place. Spirits and ghosts visit me regularly, and seem to be multiplying by the night. Every time I take a show (and this isn't new) I feel a presence, and now I am hearing things. Always a high pitched noise, and then inaudible voices, sometimes screaming, or crying. I hear it so clearly that no matter how much I try, every time I take a show, I end up jumping out to check to see what the noises were, or is someone is making them, and I always find nothing. I'm down to showering every 3 days now. I really dread it.
I receive messages from I don't know who. Four days before my Son's Dad's new baby was born, I received a message out of the blue. I heard a voice; it said" The baby is going to die." Twice. The baby was born four days later, and died sixteen days after.
I get ringing in my ears, I hear things two blocks away, or in my sister's apartment through the walls, or my watch in the bathroom medicine cabinet, with the door closed, just ticking away. My diet has changed; I eat whole foods, no animal products or meat, and often don't even want to eat. I have lost a lot of weight. I can't focus on my schoolwork like I use to. My deodorant doesn't work anymore, I alternate, and all 4 of the brands I have just don't work anymore. I am always FREEZING cold. Sometimes I can't help but sleep for most of the day. I hear more voices, different voices, whenever I ask a question; it's answered, in a loving way, but by whom? I see shapes and colors, and this physical world sometimes melting away, as if it isn't real, like I see a hologram (my walls become holographic.) Sometimes I feel I'm just going crazy, but know I am not. This clairaudience is something completely new to me. I am freaked out by it. I want to develop my gifts, and use them for the greater good.
Please, if you have any advice, I am more than grateful for you sharing.