Ever since I have found out the truth about our powers and have tried doing things I have had these weird random thoughts of hurting myself, for example I'm thinking about energy moving objects and all of a sudden I think about my foot exploding or my heart popping, this only occurs when I try to enhance my abilities by using marijuana to open my chakra channels. And this didn't start happening until I heard about doing these things is dangerous and it can kill you. It brought fear into me.
I was sitting against the wall with my back against the wall and my foot feel asleep as soon as I tried to move it all of the nerves started to tingle then the thought of my foot exploding and blood going everywhere just popped into my mind. And I got this strange head rush and it felt like it was going to, I got so scared that I believed for a sec that it was going to happen and as I did the feeling got worse, I then tried yelling out loud that "It's not going to happen!" Then it stopped after a few seconds. I hate these thoughts and I want to get rid of them.
And also I would like to connect with my higher self but I'm afraid for some reason I'm not sure why. And when I meditate at night or do other practices I get this scared feeling telling me to stop and wait until the day time to do this.
One time after knowing we as humans can do I tried pulling the energy of the wind in a direction and it would happen, I want to get stronger at using wind, any help would be appreciated.
I want to know how to heal others and make them feel good around me, I want to know untold secrets that the government doesn't want to tell us. I really dislike living in the darkness of not knowing what I'm capable of. I have seen strange things in my life and I don't want to explain anything else in public.
Please email me I want to know so much more.