I have always seen auras, and since I was a child, I would occasionally accurately picture people from seeing their gravestone, or reading about them. I sometimes just know things about the personal histories of people I meet. I never shared this with anyone, for fear that I would be considered a lunatic, or mentally unbalanced. I am now in my 40's, and have begun to have visions, like an abbreviated movie in flash sequences, but accumulated, they tell a story. It started a few months ago as dreams, and is now happening while I am awake.
The violent visions began when I was walking through a wooded area, looking for an abandoned cemetery. I was trying to help someone find the grave of an ancestor for her family tree. I got a clear and horrifying vision of a young woman being assaulted in the copse of trees where I was standing. I felt her terror, my heart seemed to stop beating, and I felt nauseous and just wanted to run from there as quickly as I could.
A few weeks ago, I was working late at home, and was rubbing my eyes when saw an elderly woman dragged out of her window at a nursing home, raped and beaten to death. I finally shared this with my aunt, a close and trusted friend, and she suggested I google the vision to see if it was real or a dream. I found out that it was an unsolved crime from 25 years ago, and the story included pictures of the victim and the location, and it was exactly what I had seen.
I went to visit my cousins' graves to place flowers for them, and saw and heard my cousin speaking to me. I saw snapshots of things he had done with family that I was not a party to, and knew nothing about before that day. He gave me messages for his mother and brothers that made no sense to me, but when I worked up the courage to tell his mother, made perfect sense to her. This was the first time that I have heard someone in that manner.
Yesterday, I saw a woman being beaten and raped with an umbrella, and got a distinct view of the perpetrator. I believe that this was a crime that has occurred in the not so distant past, that has also not been adjudicated, but I have made no effort yet to verify its accuracy. I don't know if I really want to know, or what to do if I discover that it did actually occur.
These violent visions are very difficult for me to handle, as I feel the terror of the victim, as if I were they. I also occasionally hear garbled voices now that I do not recognize, saying things I cannot comprehend, especially when I am tired. They are not frightening, satanic or evil, they just make no sense to me, as they do not relate to my life or those in it. I am having trouble sleeping, as I wake up with visions, and am terrified to go back to sleep, but it is an endless cycle. The more exhausted I get, the more voices I hear, and the more these movies and snapshots run through my mind.
I could not have read about or seen these crimes on the news, as they seem to be taking place in a city to which I just recently moved. I do not understand what is happening to me, or how to stop it, and regain control of my mind. Is it possible that I am suffering from some type of physical or mental illness, or is there another reason or explanation for the onset of these horrifying images? I am an intelligent, educated woman, and it is difficult for me to accept that I cannot control what I see and hear. Has this happened to any of you? I would greatly appreciate any advice or direction that may help in stopping these visions and voices, and allowing me to regain the control I have always had.
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