My puppy has been gone now for about 9 months and passed away back in December 2011. He was born in February of 1999, which brought him to a good 11 years with me and over those 11 years I got very close to him, so close that I considered him to be my baby brother, he watched over me throughout the years, he was my best friend and guardian. He went just about everywhere with me; he shared my every joy and my every pain. I just can't help to feel this great heart ache and miss him every day. I lost a big piece of myself when I lost my puppy and I still haven't been able to grieve or heal from the heart ache I feel.
When he was alive I only ever heard his voice speaking to me my mind was able to hear it but also my ears and it wasn't a bark or a ruff, he was actually speaking to me which really intrigued me this happened about 4 years ago, he sounded he was in his mid 30's and his voice was very smooth and gentle it happened one night when I had fallen asleep on the couch with him watching TV, and he said to me that the fellow on the TV looked funny =) and he was right I forget at the time what exactly we were watching but I had only just woken up as I was half asleep and awake at the same time I heard my puppies' voice shortly after he had said that to me I woke up with a hmmmm? In response to what he had said to me and he looked at me with big bright eyes and started to wag his tail. No one else was in the room with me that night except for him and I, I had a strong feeling that night that we both communicated somehow, I have many pets and I had one other who had a beautiful ladies voice, I heard her voice on occasion speaking to me, she was a bearded dragon and she loved jewelry =). I guess what I'm trying to say is I can hear or somehow communicate with animals but it's not something I can do at will and it rarely happens, I just feel really grateful that I have been able to receive something in which my loved ones were able to speak to me <3 I have many little friends now and each and every one of them has their own individual personality =) and I do love them very much.
My puppy was diagnosed with diabetes mellitus, unfortunately my family and I had caught this too late in his life I really wish we were able to have seen the signs a lot sooner! = (we were not able to afford his insulin and as a result, he slowly deteriorated and was in great pain, my father had taken him to the vet to put him to sleep. I wasn't able to say good bye.
Weeks after, I had seen him in the form of a shadow, his soul in fact, he would be watching me at the door when I fell asleep at night, I would not only see glimpses of his shadow but also heard his whines and puppy coos, I would feel a great love or comfort in my chest that just fill it up to a whole where it felt like pain but it wasn't type of heart ache pain that you feel from a broken heart it was type of tickling feeling that was much like a warm hug of great love.
I keep his box of ashes wrapped in a puppy blanket I had given him before his passing and keep that with me very night in my arms when I am sleeping I haven't let go I really haven't and no more than about 4 weeks ago I had seen an orb just a tiny white little ball of light with a tail behind it much like that you would see on a shooting star, floating around his box of ashes, and at the time I was playing a song on my guitar. I knew it was him coming to visit.
About 3 months before then I had a dream where a bunch of saints dressed in robes where all lined up going to the sky and the river that followed down these rocks was sparkling light of gold and down the mountain I had one of the saints take my puppies ashes and tell me in the dream that my puppy was blessed and that he safe now, when I had woken up I understood what the dream meant, the person in my dream told me that my puppy was going to heaven and that he be safe I felt so much better after knowing this. And I am grateful that my puppy does come back to visit me
I love my puppy very much and am still unable to let go. I know I will never stop loving him.