I am so glad and thankful for the opportunity to connect with people who understand me.
I remember being conceived, have memories from the womb, and remember being born. My mom confirmed my memories when I was an adult, and some details only recently, since she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was ready to fill in many personal details.
When I was a child I had all kinds of experiences that were unique. I learned how to pronounce difficult words by listening to the adults in my family, then going around the house in a circular direction until I came to the stairs to the upper level of my grandparents' house where I was raised and practicing the words with the "Woman on the Stairs." Years later I saw pictures and realized it was my great grandmother, who had died in the house. I saw things others couldn't, like grass apporting from the ceiling and then disappearing on the floor. I had a little rubber ball with a very distinct pattern that would simply disappear when I was bouncing it only to reappear later. Years later, when I met my best friend, he started talking about a ball he had that used to disappear and reappear the same way. After comparing the ball's pattern, we realized it was the same one. I had many experiences of getting up from bed and seeing myself still lying there, and loved the experience of the anti-gravity bounce I could achieve. While in this state, I often talked to what some would call "tall grey aliens," but always felt there was an interdimensional element to these experiences, rather than being a strictly extraterrestrial phenomenon. We lived next to a stream that cut through a Missipian-Era fossil bed and I could see the shallow sea and its creatures swimming around me.
I was so mercilessly teased and bullied at school that some of these abilities left me. Many years into my adulthood I was diagnosed as Autistic, but looking across the span of my life I really think that I am simply a Highly Permeable Being who is super-sensitive. I feel like most people on the spectrum fit this description. Anyway, my oddness made me a huge target, as I'm sure many here can relate to.
As I grew older I had fewer experiences, but the ones I had were significant. I got off the bus way before my stop because I was so strongly compelled to I thought I would faint if I ignored it. As soon as I walked by the first dark alley a woman was being abducted by a huge man. I ran toward them and was ready to attack him when he pushed her away and sped off in his car. Later it was revealed he was a serial killer, and in a really weird twist, he killed a friend of mine who lived in the same apartments as I. Another time, I was in a traffic accident and as I went in and out of my body I travelled to my mother, 500 miles away, to tell her what happened. One seriously precognitive dream I had was about a low, wood building in which many hundreds of golden statues were lined up on tiers. I was one of the statues. A door at the bottom opened and people walked by us all, looking at us. About 10 years ago I went to Kyoto, Japan, where I visited Sanjusangendo -- the Temple of 1,001 Buddhas, and it was the place in my dream. I could point to the statue I had been. I saw so many close and profound lights in the sky I found it hard to believe it wasn't something everyone saw. I knew a man named John had lived in one of the apartments I rented and knew he had killed several people. My landlord looked it up and saw that a really nasty man named John had lived in my apartment. I had a lot of other experiences with precognitive dreams, seeing spirits, etc. I felt friends moved through my body when they passed on.
Significantly, a lot of my healing and readjustment happened when, after leaving school around 15 because of the bullying and then being homeless, I met a group of gorillas in the zoo in Seattle and over 13 years came to know them deeply -- better than the humans in my life. I certainly understood them better. They helped me so much that I went back to school, eventually got a PhD in anthropology, and became a writer. I have always had an overwhelming affinity with animals and the earth, and nature and sensitivity inform all my writing.
In fact, I have often been in situations where I happened to be there when animals who were sick, or hit by cars, etc were passing on and I helped them do that. It has seemed a large part of my purpose, and over the recent years I have extended that gift to humans also. I recently started learning Reiki --at first just as an adjunct skill to my martial arts practice (which is my other passion) and that blew the doors wide open for me again. Now, almost every night, I find myself travelling over time and space to help people and other living things transition.
Generally, I feel a lot of joy, and I feel blessed to experience this level of consciousness. One area I really struggle in though is that I feel the distress and destruction of the earth and feel the torture animals are going through in factory farms. This isn't something I can "cut off" or shield from. It's just a fact, and the thing that keeps me sane is feeling that I am helping energetically somehow.
I would love to hear from other people sensitive in these ways and know how they cope. Feel free to contact me at email@example.com if you have anything to share.
Thank you for reading. I hope this site helps others as much as it has helped me already.