I met a man at work 17 years ago now. The first time I saw him, I was walking and heard the work "Stop" clearly in my head to the point that I stopped dead in my tracks. I looked up and there he was staring right at me from about 30 feet away. We had this connection where it seemed like we could read each other's thoughts and moods very well. We got along great and had so much in common. Or like the sense that we understood each other to a deep degree.
We flirted over the course of two years and he even made it clear that he was interested in a relationship. I had a boyfriend at the time and never told him. I felt like it would sound stupid coming out of my mouth and that if I told him he might stop talking to me. I know how wrong it was of me now, but at the time I just couldn't bring myself to tell him. I also had a feeling that he was too good for me and it wouldn't work out because he would reject me. Just basic insecurity.
It ended for us one night at a party when he saw me with my boyfriend. He was angry and looked at me like he hated me, was questioning how I could do this, then just disappointment. He left and I never saw him again. I talked to him through social media 7 or so years ago but I botched it with nervous semi apologies and he kind of blew them off. He asked me to meet up then ignored me when I answered which made me think he was just playing a game. One other time I was unknowingly hanging out with people he knew. He found out when I left and followed me. He got next to my car and drove there in the next lane. I didn't know it was him at the time and was kind of scared.
Fast forward 15 years and I am still thinking about him. I want to stop in a way and in another way I don't. I feel like we still share a psychic connection. I believe we are soulmates. I had a dream once that we were both ascending to Heaven in a blue light. I looked it up afterwards and it said the blue light signified soulmates. I try to send him mental messages telling him I am sorry. I wish that we could have been together or could be in the future. I regret messing everything up so long ago. Now I don't know if he hates me, forgot about me, or still has feelings like I do. I have been told by a well known psychic that I am highly psychic and could work as a medium with training. I have experienced many psychic and paranormal events in life.
But this situation in particular has me very confused. I don't know if this is psychic connection or obsession and wishful thinking. I don't know if I should forget about this as best I can or try to keep the lines of communication open. Wouldn't he find me if he wanted to? If anyone has a similar experience or ideas I would love to hear your stories or advice. I'm new to this and am hoping to connect with others like myself as everyone I know doesn't really understand.
You can choose to act or stay static. Make a choice. If you choose to remain where you are now, you will. If you do remain in your present situation, give this up. It is unhealthy and a self-destructive dead end.
If you opt to go forward, locate him. If he is married, leave him alone. There is no benefit for either of you if you destroy a marriage. If he is single, contact him.
You two are mature adults. Step up to the plate and be just that. Contact him and meet with him if you can. In person will be more effective than the phone or internet. Put your cards on the table when conversation provides an opportunity.
When that contact is finished you will have a better understanding of what your reality is and what may come of it.
Letting this go unaddressed is counter-productive. Resolve it one way or another. Right now you are caught up in romantic quicksand and going nowhere. It becomes more painful as the days pass. There is no point in lingering where you are.
Hope you find what you are looking for.