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Can't Stop Thinking Of Him


I met a man at work 17 years ago now. The first time I saw him, I was walking and heard the work "Stop" clearly in my head to the point that I stopped dead in my tracks. I looked up and there he was staring right at me from about 30 feet away. We had this connection where it seemed like we could read each other's thoughts and moods very well. We got along great and had so much in common. Or like the sense that we understood each other to a deep degree.

We flirted over the course of two years and he even made it clear that he was interested in a relationship. I had a boyfriend at the time and never told him. I felt like it would sound stupid coming out of my mouth and that if I told him he might stop talking to me. I know how wrong it was of me now, but at the time I just couldn't bring myself to tell him. I also had a feeling that he was too good for me and it wouldn't work out because he would reject me. Just basic insecurity.

It ended for us one night at a party when he saw me with my boyfriend. He was angry and looked at me like he hated me, was questioning how I could do this, then just disappointment. He left and I never saw him again. I talked to him through social media 7 or so years ago but I botched it with nervous semi apologies and he kind of blew them off. He asked me to meet up then ignored me when I answered which made me think he was just playing a game. One other time I was unknowingly hanging out with people he knew. He found out when I left and followed me. He got next to my car and drove there in the next lane. I didn't know it was him at the time and was kind of scared.

Fast forward 15 years and I am still thinking about him. I want to stop in a way and in another way I don't. I feel like we still share a psychic connection. I believe we are soulmates. I had a dream once that we were both ascending to Heaven in a blue light. I looked it up afterwards and it said the blue light signified soulmates. I try to send him mental messages telling him I am sorry. I wish that we could have been together or could be in the future. I regret messing everything up so long ago. Now I don't know if he hates me, forgot about me, or still has feelings like I do. I have been told by a well known psychic that I am highly psychic and could work as a medium with training. I have experienced many psychic and paranormal events in life.

But this situation in particular has me very confused. I don't know if this is psychic connection or obsession and wishful thinking. I don't know if I should forget about this as best I can or try to keep the lines of communication open. Wouldn't he find me if he wanted to? If anyone has a similar experience or ideas I would love to hear your stories or advice. I'm new to this and am hoping to connect with others like myself as everyone I know doesn't really understand.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, jarkri, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

MrRiggs (2 stories) (10 posts)
7 years ago (2017-12-19)
You are so wrapped up in this that you are struggling. I think that your situation can be simplified.

You can choose to act or stay static. Make a choice. If you choose to remain where you are now, you will. If you do remain in your present situation, give this up. It is unhealthy and a self-destructive dead end.

If you opt to go forward, locate him. If he is married, leave him alone. There is no benefit for either of you if you destroy a marriage. If he is single, contact him.

You two are mature adults. Step up to the plate and be just that. Contact him and meet with him if you can. In person will be more effective than the phone or internet. Put your cards on the table when conversation provides an opportunity.

When that contact is finished you will have a better understanding of what your reality is and what may come of it.

Letting this go unaddressed is counter-productive. Resolve it one way or another. Right now you are caught up in romantic quicksand and going nowhere. It becomes more painful as the days pass. There is no point in lingering where you are.

Hope you find what you are looking for.
etrguy (4 stories) (2 posts)
7 years ago (2017-11-12)
I've had a similar experience. As a divorced mature male living in Wales UK I often attend antique and craft fairs for the interest and company.
On one occasion many years ago I was walking slowly browsing in a fair when I saw this woman walking towards me. I can still tell you exactly what she was wearing and everything about her appearance. When our eyes met we were both transfixed in a stare that went into my soul, I felt naked to it's depth. We continued to walk slowly past each other keeping our stare.
As she passed I had this overwhelming desire to ask her to marry me, I felt I knew her from just those few seconds.
I have never seen her since but will never forget her.
AnneV (4 stories) (1064 posts) mod
7 years ago (2017-11-10)
If you flirted over the course of two years and didn't take it to the next level, then I don't think this is a true soul mate connection. You can't keep soul mates apart. We can fantasize about the one that got away but you made your choices at the time. More than likely what you're doing now is creating karma that will have to be worked out in another life. And if he does end up being your soul mate then this was intended as a lesson to you to be true to yourself and your mate of choice. You weren't doing you or your boyfriend at the time any service by putting so much energy into another person, for two years no less. As you found out, there are consequences to even small behaviors. The good news is that we learn from this and if you're meant to be together, it will happen, albeit maybe in another life after you two have evolved to a point where there are no more games.
Thanks for sharing,

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