I'm an only child and I have a broken family. I grew up with my father who is amazing. My mother had better things on her mind. Ever since I can remember I have had a dark feeling that has followed me. I have no religious background but I always fantasized about the darker side of life. I was alone a lot when growing up but I never felt alone. This dark feeling would be at its highest when I was alone in my room (not necessarily when I was trying to go to sleep) but it always seemed to be in front of my wardrobe. I could never actually see anything though. Sometimes I would feel unsafe and my cat helped me, she always seemed to know when I was afraid. This feeling died down ever since I started smoking cannabis.
I have a few close friends (that are not friends with each other) that have all described similar descriptions about something they have seen in me. The first time was when my best friend (who was religious) were hanging out at my old school when I was about 14. We had been friends for a few years now and we were really close. It was dusk and we use to play this game where we sat down in front of each other and closed our eyes and told a stories. I was joking around and I had my face really close to hers, so when she opened them she would have got a fright. (I love scaring people) She knew I was there somehow so she open her eyes slowly and started saying you didn't scare me. The look on her face changed so dramatically, she scream in my face, jumped up and wouldn't look at me. She covered her face with her hands and said she saw something in my eyes. I knew she wasn't joking around because of how scared she was, it took like 20mins for her to finally look at me again. She described something that looked tribal and had a wide open mouth she said it was smiling but she didn't feel like it was happy, she said she saw black tattoos like patterns. After that our friendship wasn't normal It took her awhile to be able to feel comfortable again with me even though this had never happened before.
The second time happened a year or so after when I lived with my mum. My friend lived with us. I hadn't told anyone about the story with my best friend and I didn't really feel like I had too, it was our story and at this point I was no longer friends with her for different reasons. He had hurt his foot quite badly from skateboarding and we lived in a two story house, so I thought I make a big bowl of noodles and bring it up and watch a movie or something. This time when I gave him the fork he stopped and our eyes were locked for what felt like 5mins. He kind of sat back and said woah. He looked confused and said he had seen something in my eyes. I straight away wanted to know if it was the same thing my best friend saw and started asking him questions. He said almost the exact same thing! He said he saw red and black and he saw something that looked like a wooden mask then he laughed and said it was like a scary version of the uka uka man off crash bandicoot. I laughed with him but then I told him about what happened at the school. He became more serious and told me to look up Michael's Prayer and to say that before going to bed. I did it once but then felt silly as I don't believe in that stuff. This has happened another time with my partner but pretty much the same story.
I have read posts about people saying they have guardians that are not necessarily angels. I'm not sure what this is as I've never seen it or talked to it but I have somehow known it's there. My instincts are very strong to the point where I can feel someone's past and I can tell who they are before talking to them... It's all in the eyes which makes me think is it connected? I have read that guardians interact with the person they are connected with but I feel it hasn't done anything. I want to know what were my friends on about. I want to know if there is something and why it hasn't tried to make contact with me. I am very open minded and would love some input.