I will start (what may become rather a long post) by saying that I have always been aware of having a strong intuition and an incredibly empathic nature. From a very early age I was able to read people like open books, and I seemed to absorb peoples' moods, although the negative ones often affected me the most. My mother and sister and I have always had what I can only describe as a psychic connection. For instance, my mother knew when I had had a near fatal accident on the highway before I ever called to let her know. And just last week at work, I started crying for apparently no reason. All I knew what that my sister was in deep pain, and as it turned out her boyfriend had left to Australia for 6 month trip earlier that very morning. When I called to check up on her, I learned that we had started crying a precisely the same moment.
These are all within the realm of my experience, and I just accept it as what it is. But the other night, something new - and startling - happened that I'm finding a little hard to believe, though I have always been able to trust my instinct. Although what I'm about write felt so very real, I had begun to wonder if I was going crazy...
A couple of weeks ago, my sister and I were on the phone chatting away about old times, and how we had become grown ups without realizing. It was great to reminisce. While recounting some of the more hilarious stories, our conversation started to veer toward the fun we had had with a dear friend Dustin, who passed away last May. It wasn't sad to talk about - it is hard to stay sad when you think of someone who brought so much joy and energy to every one he met.
When I got off the phone, I very clearly felt a presence with me. And, while feeling a person's energy while they are physically present is common for me, I had never experienced something like this. I swear that Dustin was with me, laughing with us at all the ridiculous things we used to do. It was, as I said, foreign to me, but I acknowledged him. Out loud, I told him that while he left behind a presence that can never be replaced, every one who loved him would remember him forever with joy in their hearts, their lives being made richer for having been touched by his incredible spirit. And though I couldn't see anything, I felt him beaming at me. He left me then (I found out later from my sis and some of our friends that he had been making rounds to visit others that night, either in dreams or in waking, as he had done with me).
But when I should have expected to be by myself again, I felt another presence make its self known. She was unfamiliar and yet something about her made me feel like I should know her. I closed my eyes focused and was surprised to find it was my best friend, Cory's mother. This is why she was unfamiliar: Cory's mother, Jan, had passed away over 10 years ago, long before I ever had the chance to meet her. I was overwhelmed with so much emotion. Jan was very concerned about her son who is going through a tough time in his life. She made it known to me that Cory never never opens himself up to her any more, or turns to her for guidance and comfort.
I share her concern about my beloved friend. I think she knows that I am doing everything I can to help and support him. I told her that I'd do anything for Cory, and although she and I never had the chance to meet, I expressed my love and gratitude to her for bringing up such the great person who I have come to love and who has enriched my life in so many ways. I also let her know that I would tell Cory about our meeting, and try to get him to open up again, like he used to, to receive his mother's love and guidance. I got a very strong sense that this pleased her.
The very next day, I arranged to meet with Cory and, scary as it was to do, told him about meeting his mother. While I felt crazy for recounting the tale, I knew he believed me implicitly (Cory is another person I share an unspoken connection with). He cried then, and told me that he had, in fact, completely shut him self off from his mother's presence. He never talked to her any more because he was ashamed of the man he had become. Remembering her concern and overwhelming love, I laid it out straight for him: Jan is nothing but proud and pleased with the way he turned out, and if only he he could let her in, he could feel it for himself.
It took some time and effort for Cory to get to a place where he could feel and acknowledge the presence of his mother - I knew this because I could feel Jan around me all the time for days. I think she was sort of using me as vessel to convey messages to him until he could get guidance from her him self. A few days ago, I woke up to find Jan was no longer with me and, sure enough, I got a call few minutes later from Cory telling me his mother had visited him in a dream. It felt so fantastic to be able to help re-unite these two, I can't really put it into words. I only hope I will be able to help others one day with this new gift I am discovering.
I know this post is long winded - more than any thing, I needed to get this off my chest and seek guidance from any one who may understand. Why, after my 26 years alive, is this happening to me now? And how on earth did Jan find her way to me, or better yet, pick me to relay a message to her son? And can any one help me with exercises to develop and nurture this new skill?