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Bonds And Empathy


I'm going to put this out in the open before I start on this, I've had an account on here before but I've abandoned it a while ago. Now on to my experience.

I've always been connected more emotionally than other people, and have been more sensitive to emotions. When I was younger, well younger than I am now, I use to have no clear understanding of this. It only grew stronger as I aged a little, and figured out I was an empath.

At first it just started with knowing when others that were close to me were upset or how they felt, but now it's progressed to actually feeling the emotions as if I were them and getting images of what had happened in my mind. It's as if I'm looking down on the scene with a birds eye view, but slightly tilted. The stronger my ties are with a person the more vivid and strong the emotions are.

For example, I have this friend, she has a very hard life keep that in mind, who I've slowly grown very close to. I've noticed out bond is very different than a lot of bonds I've already created. It is different as in how her emotions so easily effect me, and how I know how's she's feeling or when she's lying. Sure that's with others as well, but it's easier to tell with her. Also I've had this strong urge to protect her with everything I have. We are Internet friends, but we don't live far from each other, her state borders mine, and oddly I feel the urge to keep her safe even though she's older.

I am also very confused at why our bond is so close and why I want to protect her so much. I'm even confused about how the images of what had happened are so clear in my head.

I've noticed I can also use the bond in other ways than just emotions. I closed my eyes and felt our bond, and I was joking around saying I was coming to her house. Keep in mind I've never even been in her house, due to how far away we live, or seen pictures of it. Anyways, I began to get images of her house as I felt our bond. I described how her house looked and surprisingly I got most everything correct. I even counted how many stairs she had. This surprised me because I normally can't do such a thing, and it's never happened again since then.

Thank you for reading this, and I'll appreciate if anyone comments. I still have many things to tell, but of course it will be in other things I submit.

-HeinousJester ♠

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, HeinousJester, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Samie (1 stories) (11 posts)
11 years ago (2013-07-28)
HeinousJester & Lexibu1

Hey [at] HeinousJ, yes you are right the post-its were yellow, funny you said that bc I have a pack of neon colored ones also. The handwriting: Its also strange you mention that above all things, because I thought my writing was sloppy but when I took a picture and texted it to them to prove what I had written one day, that person complemented me on how nice my writing was, when to me is was less than my best pensmanship. The Blue Pen with black ink: No, it wasn't blue with black ink, HOWEVER I have this brand of pen that I am almost obsessive about using, and because I like them so much its always a battle as to which color to buy because of my job & also being a writer. I always end up with the tri-pack that has blue, black and red. May seem like a coincidence you say that, but no its not and heres why; When I would automatic write (put empath feelings on paper). I ALWAYS switched pens so that once I let the words out of my system, I wouldn't "hold" the energy from that person and allow it to impact my job or creative process, whichever I was doing at the time. Thus I distinguished that by blue & black in a given moment, and sometimes I would agonize about it, I even saged my pens once because the energy was so strong!
Now as far as being sympathetic, my husband always says I'm too nice, he says I need to stand up to people and learn to say "No" when its not a good situation for me to be in, including with him. Though I'm nothing of a push over, I consciously help by choice most of the time, its because I care that someone's soul silently "reached out"to me so to speak ('soul calls'- as they are aptly named). This person is the first time that I began to shut someone off metaphysically, and that's because it was hurting me physically, mentally, emotionally, both as an empath and a person. Usually I don't get too invested even though we deal in picking up very sensitive subject matters, I've learned say what I have to say to whomever with tact and compassion, then move on without any problems. This person, on the other hand presented themselves to be something they weren't, lended themselves to be more of an energetic vampire than a soul in need and even less of the friend they convinced me of. The jury is still out on that one, but time tells all.

[at] Lexibu1
I completely understand what you mean. My advice to you is this: When you feel something that you can't tell is yours, take a minute to yourself. Think clearly as to what the specific emotion is and recap your day to see if there is anyreason for you to feel that way, if not then its probably a hidden emotion of someone close to you, or that of someone you have recently (that day/day prior) have interacted with. What helped me when I was trying to learn others feelings from my own, as I mentioned to HeinousJester is I would sit by myself write the thoughts that popped up into my head surrounding that emotion, and context clues usually points to the person. I then pray to ask God to deal with that persons concerns and for me to return to my state of peace, and If I need to say something to someone then give me the courage,words, and right timing to do so. Hope that helps Love. Side note: I too am married but my husband has had over 10 years to see things I've said come to pass, he's even reminded me of things that I told him and couldn't remember saying until he described the setting and detailed the conversation. He both admires and pities me though, he can't stand to see me hurt nor can he quite grasp what he sees me do with his own eyes, so he just encourages me to do what my Spirit/God incites me to do. It all takes time though. 😊
lexibu1 (2 stories) (7 posts)
11 years ago (2013-07-26)
It's funny. I have typed and retyped this comment like five times. I'm new to this and am just starting to except the fact that I may have abilities. What you said about when you were younger and being able to tell someone's emotions. I've been dealing with this for I don't know how long, but it has gotten to the point that if the emotion is strong enough some times I can't tell if its my own or not. My husband laughs at me sometimes because I know when there is a change in him or others but he sums it up to "good ESP". Well, I'm leaving this comment as it is my first and I guess this is the first step to maybe resolving/understanding some of what is going on.
HeinousJester (1 stories) (3 posts)
11 years ago (2013-07-26)

I find all of this super interesting. I've never been able to hear the thoughts, but I can pinpoint emotions and have an understanding or an idea of what happened.
While reading this I couldn't help, but to get little images here and there of what you were talking about, but I guess that's normal I have no clue. The things you put most emotion into seem to jump out at me an give me an image, like when you were talking about the yellow sticky notes. You wrote it in blue colored pen with black ink right? I remember seeing someone scribbling something down and the handwriting was kind of neat, but messy at the same time. I'm probably just imagining it you know what I mean.
Anyways, I was thinking about when you were speaking of when you blocked someone off they got depressed or sick. Maybe your energy benefited them in someway and without it, it became sort of like a withdraw or something. I'm horrible at advice so I apologize.
I understand what you're speaking of when you didn't want to chase after someone that only talks to you when they have problems. That is very inconsiderate of the person to not even ask of how you are fairing. My friend always worries about that. She tries to act as, please excuse my language but, a stone cold hardass even though she truly isn't. She is very tough, but she's not heartless. I hope she doesn't have an account on here and realize I'm speaking of her because that would be very bad, but she tends to have dreams of the future. Like small things that come true. I also have a male friend who tends to dream of the future a lot.
I had a dream once that connected to my past life months and months ago and he dreamed about the same place and he had the dream years ago.
In the dream he was at a different area, I was protecting a girl I was assigned to as a guardian or something I just had to defend her, but we were in a library running from this guy and my friend in his dream described the exact same library. He dIdNt go inside the library but he went up these stairs and I won't mention what happened, but he died in the dream. I also died, I was ambushed in the dream and stabbed through the chest. I'd put more detail, but I'm not sure if I should tell it all out to the public, but that's what happened summarized up.
Sorry I got a little off topic, but yes I see why you would distance yourself and it's totally respectable. I wish I could do that when I get into situations like that, but I can never really back away. I tend to be a little too nice at times... Well more like sympathetic.
Samie (1 stories) (11 posts)
11 years ago (2013-07-25)

Hey, I absolutely have experienced that, with the texting. I literally have heard this person's thoughts. The first time I opened up to say something I was typing and all of a sudden these sentences just started pouring out, I took a picture of it and sent it to them and they asked " How did you know that?". Whenever this person had a concern about anything I knew. The night they were about to drive off the road was during a period of time where I refused to talk to them, I was at work and all of a sudden began to feel panic. Instantly I began writing the thoughts that I was hearing, before you know it my desk was covered in post-it notes. I didn't want to disturb anyone in my work place and since this person and I usually talked late at night I sent them a text saying "I'm terrified and I don't know why" that person called me back and I was in tears. That person said "You're probably feeling me". I proceeded to read the post-its, and he had an explanation for every thought, so much that we just stopped and they just told me everything they were going through, court trial, child support, thoughts of driving off the road, so on and so forth, I heard who he was angry at, jealous of, the types of things most people don't admit to feeling they have confided in me. Also there is the physical pain, such as head aches, one time this person was on a plane overnight and I woke up from a deep sleep with excruciating pain in my lower back the next day it was as if it never happened. Just out of curiosity that morning I asked if they felt any pain and they had the same pain because of sitting on the plane for so long. I just know. Its also like I know what type of "season" (as I refer to an extended period of feeling the same emotion.) they will have, be it happy, sad, angry, so on and so forth. Another time I refused to talk to them they caught a flu for two weeks. I think I held on in spite of the total disregard for my feelings because it seemed as though every time I "blocked" this person they would become sick or depressed. I have yet to reveal this to this person though I have taken personal note of it, for one because I am not speaking with them now either, and If I find something is wrong emotionally or physically I feel as though I will get sucked back in to that place where I feel EVERYTHING they feel only amplified again. The problem with it is. I know that I am supportive of their feelings because I can feel it, but as soon as they feel a little better or something in life works in their favor they disappear. I'm not interested in chasing anyone to care about them and definitely not to absorb their pain so they can live comfortably as if I don't even exists, leaving me with their burdens, because this person KNOWS what it does, and I never get as much as a "Hey how are you" or "Are you okay". I once praised them verbally for understanding, but now I think this is probably one of the most selfish, inconsiderate people I have ever met. I have tried to talk to this person in different mediums ala facebook, twitter, email, about subjects that are of interest to me as a person, and there is never a response, unless I ask a question about what they may be going through, and sometimes not even then, granted they know if they are hurting I am too it doesn't seem to matter. But long story longer I have all the clair ability-bonds with this person, I even dream about what ever their concerns are at the moment... Some dreams are obscure but usually reveal themselves in time.
allinbetween (56 posts)
11 years ago (2013-07-23)
Besides being an Empath you have the ability of Clairvoyance (seeing things), which allowed you to see your friend's house.:)

I don't know why you have such a strong bond with this person.:) Maybe your souls have met before, or you will discover things through this friendship that will be significant in your life (like your clairvoyant ability) so your higher self pulls you towards her. Each person has a different vibration and some are just more compatible to your own. Different relationships open you to different emotions, thoughts and potential. The possibilities are quite exciting! 😁
allinbetween (56 posts)
11 years ago (2013-07-23)
To Jeanie Dragon:
This guy is in the power position to seduce you, and maybe that's the energy you're feeling. He doesn't have much to lose and is probably getting a high from your attention.

As Empaths we feel the other strongly and sometimes assume the other person feels us and cares as much. But it's usually not the case. We also assume that our attraction is our own feeling but it can be just the other person's attraction we feel, and after they shut off their "interested" vibe, you turn around and wonder what you liked in him in the first place?

Empaths can attract narcissists, or other individuals that get a "high" from being understood and loved so much, without giving you real love in return. Some people are an energy leak & if you play along in their ego drama, you'll just waste your time and hurt your mind. Your life and personal happiness is equally important to that of others. As an Empath you can help a person but you must move on. You ask: "How does one disconnect, tune out?". It's the hardest thing you'll have to do given how strong the attachment is. Disconnecting will not work. You need to actively connect to something stronger than the energy of that bond. There are people out there that will give you an even stronger love energy, and they will be available. So try to tune your empathy into other persons and explore different emotions, because this link will just drain you.
JeanieDragon (1 posts)
11 years ago (2013-07-23)
I recently discovered I'm an Empath and soon after met a person who we had this instant connection and love as if we had known each other our whole lives and more. I accidentally bonded with him. Its an open torrent of his emotions and I don't know how to shut it off.
In the beginning there was electric tension between us which as our friendship developed into something more his energy settled in my heart chakra as a warm soft reiki-energy feel, I felt loved. Eventually I found out he was married and he was starting to feel guilty. So now in this last week his energy has shifted down to my solar plexis but is fiery burning hot inside me! Sometimes it causes me physical pain, as if I'm on fire. What is so painful for me is I feel the energy of a man I cannot be with, all.the.time. It is utter torment. How does one disconnect, tune out?
HeinousJester (1 stories) (3 posts)
11 years ago (2013-07-22)
[at] Samie

Wow, that is amazing how much of our situations resemble each other. I understand what you mean by when you feel physical pain by how much of their pain you feel. When my friend tells me about all of the bad things I tend to cry, because I see what had happened in my minds eye and I get a heavy feeling in my chest. In return she cares how I feel because we're close friends.
Her emotions are usually never too much for me because I guess I have a high tolerance for them. I'm not sure, but it never usually bothers me. It's amazing that you saved your friend, empathy are very good at stabilizing people, or at least that's what I noticed.
In my opinion it seems you are giving more than you are taking in the relationship and you know it, but you don't to withdraw from the friendship possibly because of what could happen to your friend... Am I right? I hope it gets better with you two.
I've also noticed with our bond her that when I was asleep once I woke up and as soon as I opened my eyes I looked at my phone and it started ringing, and it was her calling. And the other day I was feeling kid of sad and she messaged me saying she felt like someone was wanting to talk to her, which was true because I wanted to talk to her, and once she I texted her and she said she was about to message me as soon as she received my text and it was super weird. Does anything like that happen to you?
Samie (1 stories) (11 posts)
11 years ago (2013-07-22)
My plight sounds EXACTLY like yours from the growth in empathic ability to the internet friend. The advice I have to offer is little because I too am trying to figure out HOW this even happened, however the semblance to our stories is uncanny!
I too have someone I met online with a great deal of emotional and personal baggage, so much I would have to make another post (which I was planning to when I read yours). I too feel the need to want to shield this person and protect them with every ounce of my being but I often feel stupid for that because conversely I feel so much of their pain that it physically hurts me almost to a point of loathing them and they don't care at all if there is nothing I can offer to benefit them with what I "feel". I recommend prayer, and meditation. Don't be afraid to take a break when their emotions are too much for you. I share what they feel when I feel it even if it makes me feel crazy because I would hate to drop the ball on someone in their time of need. By following my personal code of "empathic ethics" I saved this person from driving themselves off the road out of depression and addressed a number of other issues this person couldn't "cope" with or talk to anyone else about. I suppose the difference is at least your friend seems to care about you in return, and still acts like you exist, mine doesn't until I check on them, and certainly doesn't care how I feel as long as they feel better after the fact. What you two share is wonderful, especially if your friend isn't shying away and is willing to be there while you grow together, you in your ability, them with their personal issues and both of you together as people. To me that is why these abilities exist, to shed light on the world and help one another without judgment. I do think a bond between two people like the one you and I have experienced can be such a beautiful and healing thing, but never put your heart and spirit in harms way by those with vampire like tendencies. Our gifts can be draining enough as it is. You seem very caring, and skilled.

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