For a long time in my life I did not truly believe in psychic powers. Ironically, I felt fascinated by them and had a great desire to experience them ever since I was a child. In truth it has been less than a year since I've given any proper thought to what has happened to me. Looking back now, I feel that more has happened in my past then I realized. I apologize in advance for the length of this story, but there is so much I remember in my head that I couldn't bear to keep it in anymore.
I first learned about the possibility of psychic abilities at this time from a friend that I would see often during my typical bus route in my High School days. She told me that she sometimes would have dreams showing her places she would visit or how they would change in the future. She was scared because she didn't understand her abilities. I felt both intrigued and concerned about what I heard.
At first very little out of the ordinary happened after our conversation. Before long though, I started to realize that something similar was starting to occur at times in my dreams as well. These were different in the sense that the events I saw were encrypted in symbolism and as such I had to think hard to understand them after waking up. There seemed to be no bounds to what they would depict. Everything from school, to video game occurrences, to my summer job could be involved in what I would see. Eventually my dreams gave way from being symbolic to direct. They continued during and for a while after High School, but then stopped.
That was not all that happened at the time though. On three different occasions I had been involved in different incidents that occurred when I couldn't handle my emotions at the time.
In my freshman year, one of my classes was in a fundraising competition with another. At first I felt it was going to end in a loss for my class. Really wasn't sure what to do or think about the situation and dragged on me for a long time. One day I was sitting at my computer desk and I heard a loud voice in my mind like a female shriek yelling "We're falling behind!" and it seemed only I could hear it. For a moment it felt like the panic was my own and I looked around nervously upon hearing the statement. The competition ultimately ended in our favor following the incident. I asked another person that was in the room during that time if they heard anything, but they did not. I've considered the possibility of telepathy causing the incident.
There was a time during a gym class I had gotten involved in an accident where I sustained a moderate facial injury when another student was getting ready to serve in a game of Volleyball. I could tell from what the instructors were saying that it was a pretty bad hit. All I could think of was that I didn't want anyone to see me as I was. Towards the end of class I headed to the restroom to wash my face off some. When I returned though, my coach was shocked to see that my face had completely healed without explanation. I never did see what I looked like just after the accident and had a paper towel to my right eye and never saw what I looked like or what happened. I wasn't really frightened, but rather confused. I've started to wonder if this was some kind of healing power.
The strangest occurrence happened after I had been harboring pent-up anger towards a number of students that I saw a few times each week. This was the case because I felt they were immature and it was embarrassing to be near them. One day during a lunch period one of the students had fallen out of his chair and landed on the ground. I reached out to help him up but before I even touched him, I felt a kind of mental shift. A second later he was promptly knocked to the ground like as if he was shoved. The student was a little shaken and told me that it didn't feel like it happened of his own accord. No one else was even close to where he landed, and it felt like I had somehow caused the incident. I didn't really understand why. Now I have to wonder if it was a form of telekinesis.
Despite all these occurrences, I never gave a proper care to what they could mean for a long time. Eventually I came to a point where looking into these events seemed to result in more trouble than it was worth. I eventually just marginalized all interest on the topic and didn't give it much thought for a good portion of my first two years in college.
As time passed I started to do some research into the topic of psychic phenomena and learned a little about the basic nature of psychic abilities and how they could manifest. This was when I first began to get serious about understanding why such abilities existed, and how they could be practiced I wanted to get more involved, but didn't know how to begin.
I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to do anything psychic related until I went to study overseas for a class to graduate from my community college. When our group was getting ready to leave, I suddenly felt a strange energy that seemed to be linking me to one of the professors in our group. I felt that even though I didn't really know who she was prior, I could sense her role in the program as the director.
It felt as though from then on, a strange power was rising to the surface that I could use. I could close my eyes and visualize energy that felt positive or negative linking me to someone or something else. Sometimes I would adjust my posture and the direction I was facing to confirm the connection and the energy seemed to adjust to my change in position with the person or source I was feeling it from. From this I seemed to be able to sense information about who or what the link was with. Eventually this ability changed to where I would merely need to focus on a question on a topic and I could feel energy rising or sinking on or within my body that seems to signify a positive or negative response respectively. Sometimes what I sense is not a direct answer, but rather a hint on how to proceed in certain cases.
I've never forgotten what I had experienced during that time, and am continuing to experience these flashes of insight often. I've been keeping up with different sites on the topic of psychic abilities and having started to try shielding techniques. One of the first times I used a method that seemed right for me; it was as if a field of warm, calming energy was surrounding me and I've kept with it sense that time. When I come across events that would normally negatively influence me with my shield in place, I'm able to keep my mind calm. The actual sensation seemed strongest with my first success, but it has been tapering off recently. Because the mental effect remains, I'm wondering if I am just really attuned to the energy now.
A considerable problem is that while I very much believe in the possibility of psychic abilities, my immediate family is torn on the issue. My mother is very aggressive about her disbelief on the topic if it is brought up, and my father doesn't possess a significantly strong opinion either way. Though I'm keeping up with my insight and shielding, I'm not sure what to believe right now. I've only recently realized what these events in my life could mean for me, and I am not really certain as to what is happening. I'm not sure if these are all different manifestations of psychic power, or what to think in general at this point. I've talked to some people I know that believe in these abilities, but I still feel confused. Could someone please help me better understand what this all means? I'm struggling to find my way at this point.