I am a 26 year old psych graduate, and I work in a non-profit. I do not suffer from any mental conditions. I don't know exactly how to start, so I will just start with my most meaningful experiences!
I was never comfortable with my maternal grandfather; he was rude, scary, and disliked women, so I have never spent time with him. A while after he died, I started feeling flustered and harassed as I walked down the hall, or into the bedrooms of his home, where my grandma moved into after the fact. I couldn't see anything, and I was confused about it, but it felt like he was always inches away from me as I walked around. I have tried telling my family, but they just call me crazy and exaggerating and shove the thought aside. He passed when I was 5.
This was in Spain, my homeland; the city where I grew up has been claimed by both the Phoenicians and the Romans, so it is rich with historic ruins. Whenever I've been inside these ruins, I can feel this strong pull, as if the energy that remains is trying its hardest to manifest and doesn't know quite how to. It's hard for me to put it into words, but it just feels like I am surrounded by the echoes of history. Corny, I know. I will go into a building-turned-museum, or some roman ruins, or to the site of some battle, and it almost consumes me spiritually; I cannot see anything, but I feel a huge wave of emotions, energy and confusion. I don't know how to handle it, or what to do... Do I leave? Do I stay? How do I tap into it? Is it all in my head?
I once visited the house of a priest, with my mother, as he was going to give her a painting. I sat down in the foller, and thought nothing of the house, until I realized everything started dimming down. I'm not talking about sunset, as it was like 3 pm. I could physically see the light in the room dissipating into darkness, but only in the room I was in. It was then that I felt what I've always described as "Death." I felt a heavy blanket of dread, pure and disturbing fear, and immediately, my mother and grandmother came to my mind... It got to the point where I stood up, walked over to her, just to make sure she wasn't going to drop dead, and asked to go outside. I HAD to get out of that house. Once the sunlight hit me, I calmed down and the fear left me. I was about 9 or 10.
My mother and I moved to California at age 11. The area I was staying in did not give me any heebie jeebies, but at age 13, we moved into a home that was a sanitarium, and that's when everything started going crazy. I was chased around the house by someone I could feel but not see, it chased me up the stairs, where I could hear the heaviest footsteps, the heaving behind me, the pounding on the door and the rattling of the door knob when no one else was home with me, the finding of curly, victorian-like writing on papers, the voices, the knocking, the shadow people teasing me by running around behind me, or around the corners of the house, or whispering... That house gave me full exposure to the spirit world at age 14, and I was not well equipped to handle it or understand it.
We then moved around some more, until we came to my current home. I did not feel anything about it, it is not an old home, nor is it on a site of anything of interest, but I did start seeing shadows, even hearing the voice of a man whisper in my ear the words "car", "cold", "rain" and "sidewalk." My high school boyfriend and I even heard his name being called from the hallway, only to find out nobody was there, and upon walking back into my room, hearing a hissing sound, and seeing something run up against us, physically knocking the both of us against the wall as it ran inside another room. I have heard the voice of a little boy, in the presence of another person, ask to play with him, people have said they feel that there is a man, an old woman and a boy in my house, and I constantly see a tall, dark figure wandering the halls and peeking around the corners. My hair has been pulled, I've been touched, and I've heard knocking, and general odd sounds.
When I started working at the non-profit, I was the receptionist. At times when there were no active clients in the building, I kept seeing figures walking past my office, but never making it past my door. It would drive me insane! I finally asked around, and was told that the building was a behavioral clinic, that house kids and teens that had mental and physical issues. People have refused to remain working there due to the energy there. I have heard a man pleading for help when there was no one around, I've heard crying, laughing, and felt like there was suspended energy in certain areas.
I recently experienced seeing a huge, hooded figure sitting by the table, where my boyfriend's sister was sleeping on the couch, only to come into the room, expecting it to be her brother, and her being completely home alone. I was at a party in a 1950s home this past weekend, when I felt a full-on hand being placed on my shoulder. I try to confide in my boyfriend and my mother, but they both tell me it's just stress, my choice of movies (which include horror movies), or how my parents divorced 20 years ago, and it's somehow affecting me today (even though it doesn't...I don't even keep in touch with my biological father and am happy with my stepfather.) I'm tired of experiencing a myriad of things, and having no one to lean on for guidance, support and confidence.
How can I find out more? What are my choices?