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I Feel Like I'm Going Insane


When I was growing up, I used to feel like I was special and had 'powers' but couldn't use them which is normal for a child but even now I feel like I'm special and have 'powers'. Though I feel like these 'abilities' are stronger with my eyes and my waist area. For example there are times when I mentally feel like I can move an object but can't actually do it.

Every now and again I see balls of light moving but they disappear when I try to focus on them, and although it doesn't happen often, I hear whispering in one ear and a high pitch ringing in the other. Plus I feel like there is someone in the room with me when I can see no one but I don't feel them all the time, though I have woke up being choked once and was frightened because I couldn't feel anything around my neck. It sounds strange when I describe it but even with people I've just met its like I can feel their emotion but I don't, and know their inner thoughts like insecurities.

Often I feel like there is a build up of energy inside and I want to break out or I feel like everything is in my head and it's going to explode. However, I feel like one with nature and am memorised by it in action like a flame or even water. Recently I've been having vivid dreams but I can't remember when I wake up, all I know is that they are important and I should know what happened in them but they are blocked.

I know that hallucinations and delusions are a symptom of schizophrenia and was looking for advice if this is normal. I'm 17 if it helps.

Thank you for your time.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, John2110, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

John2110 (1 stories) (9 posts)
9 years ago (2015-06-22)
Update: I've recently practiced holding my energy in meditation and my hands pushed away from eachother, my right hand felt like it was burning up and radiating heat from both the front and back. While my left felt cool with almost no heat at all. Is this natural? I've also had hot flushes since trying to control whatever it is. However now instead of feeling like my head would explode, I think I can access it through my eyes but need my hands to control it. Although I do feel sometimes I can smash glass if I released the energy when my head does feel too much.

Dear nightingale, how can I charge my iPod with energy? It seems like such a strain. After a while around a lot of people, I feel I need to get away and I believe I'm either feeling their energy or absorbing it and it becomes too much, other times I just feel drained and need to sleep.
Nightingale (145 posts)
9 years ago (2015-05-21)
You were feeling your energy. That is probably a sign that you are succeeding at meditation and connecting well with yourself and your abilities.
Should you continue feeling such energies., you may find you can control them. Don't overexert yourself-start small and stop when you're tired. But you may find it amusing to do things such as charge your iPod while it's running out of battery. I find that's a good way to practice control. Just pay attention not to drain yourself, especially at first. Have fun with it!
cayce17 (8 stories) (192 posts)
9 years ago (2015-05-14)
I think that maybe you should consider trying to use your abilities and try lucid dreaming. It's hard, but you should be able to unblock your dreams by being aware of them. I've tried lucid dreaming before and you have to be awake and conscious when falling asleep and you have to concentrate on sleeping. Also I've experienced a lot of the things you mentioned and I feel like an outsider at school because of it. I'm going to be seventeen in less than two weeks, though and I feel like what I can do will only get stronger.
You can email me at
Rainashea16 [at]
If you'd like.
RebelTweenOsiria (1 stories) (12 posts)
9 years ago (2015-05-12)
Well... To tell you the truth, I have the ringing in my ears a lot, and I hear voices in my head, and I feel like I am going to burst!

It helps to channel the 'wanting to break things' by breaking things, that's my opinion.

I can see balls of light,too.
When I try focusing on them they dissaper, I tried following them but it led nowhere.

I don't think your insane... But I'm probably insane.
celestele (1 stories) (7 posts)
9 years ago (2015-05-10)
Hey, I think I can help you... Or if anything we can help each other. I'm seventeen years-old as well. And well... I think I can answer some things.

One, you are an empath. If you are confused about that a tad, search it up. You are basically very susceptible to peoples emotions and are prone to feelings and understanding others without having to try so hard. However, you have to learn to control your barriers because at times their emotions will overwhelm you, and sometimes you'll mistaken theirs for you own. Learn how to create that barrier. Imagine making a invisible shield around yourself when you begin to feel those surge of voices and emotions.

***Your energy field is very susceptible to being affected by others.

Two, the force you felt between your hands when you meditated is energy. When you meditate you learn to control it, breathe and become more harmonic. Good job!:D Keep meditating. It is so imperative.

When you're done with that, try making a paper psi wheel. Then see if your energy can focus on moving the psi wheel. With the type of energy, you just may be telekinetic or aerokinetic.

I'm still figuring things out as I go. But I have a close friend in person whose experiences are basically equivalent to yours. Do you ever see colors in energy? If not, you may soon.

Also just a note, I'm a vegetarian- but it may be good for you to go vegan. It's better for you body and course of being in touch metaphysically. My friend is. It's not only good for you but makes you stronger and pure. However, vegan is not for everyone. Haha. I can't live without my cheese.

If you want to talk more email me.

Desireea745 [at]

I'd love to help you out, especially since we're at the same- I'm sure we can figure this out together.


John2110 (1 stories) (9 posts)
9 years ago (2015-05-09)
So I just tried meditating for 15 minutes and had my hands facing each other. I started feeling energy leaving my hands and when I tried to bring them together, I felt a force pushing them apart. Is it normal to feel that while meditating?
Malonejr (2 posts)
9 years ago (2015-05-08)
Do you feel that one day you'll do something powerful and don't know why or what? Do you get the Shadow's hiding inside of shadows lurking feeling? Do you see something looking at you ever and see it with your mind as you look with your eyes? Truth is, I'm a 30 year old man living in Texas, I've felt what you described since birth... I've never thought about looking at a site like this until last night, then I saw your post... I knew why I followed my instincts then... Wait until you see colors around people, or feel what I call a demon twisting your mind, heart, and soul... Don't ever challenge them, it's an invitation to let them inside and it will take over you... Be extremely self aware of your feelings, try to learn how to grasp that thought, feeling, memory, or mental image that's only a glimpse... Its all something important when it happens, you won't know why and won't be able to take it all in if any most of the time, but the times you can are indescribable... I don't get the open eye visuals you do, but when I close my eye's its a different world...

Your dreams will be so intense and vivid that you'll question if the event's in them are real and really happened/ or are going to happen...

Find an aroma that smells good and makes you feel happy, put it in your room and keep the smell of your room happy... Keep everything in your room clean and clutter free... These things like to play with your mind, they will adjust things around you to make you question things, like did I leave the towel on the bed but its now on the floor in the bathroom, then you wonder what if and feel that feeling... Don't leave areas for shadows to make shadows... The aroma is a major thing! It keeps you in a pleasant mood, they don't like things that smell good... If you ever just can't shake a rotten meat smell and it has no source and comes and goes, you pray or whatever it is you believe in you do it non stop and focus!

The balls of light you see are a good thing... Don't be scared, focus on your thoughts and feelings at that moment... Don't try to look at them, they will go away and show up less in life...

A pet is good to have, certain ones can see things for you and alert you of things you cannot see...
Nightingale (145 posts)
9 years ago (2015-05-08)
I looked up different kinds of abilities and checked out the glossary here: at first. Then I found this site and realized how many others like me there were.
Meditation is different for everyone, but first try to just sit and clear your mind. Let your thoughts flow without words. You will become aware of all your surroundings and youself at once. It takes practice but it's worth it.
I became aware of them and communicated. I have a spirit guide who had known them for years. Most ghosts are wellmeaning and in my case they have been able to give me much advice.
John2110 (1 stories) (9 posts)
9 years ago (2015-05-07)
SarahJennings, what do you mean by the term powerful?

I've read your posts and I want to help but I don't know how to. Have you any specific questions I could help with?
Sarahjennings (guest)
9 years ago (2015-05-07)
You are very powerful! Check out my stories please I need help
John2110 (1 stories) (9 posts)
9 years ago (2015-05-07)
PumpkinPrincessPayton, what is the best way to meditate? If you do get the message, could you tell me please? I feel it may help, though I'm confused of how she knew where to go.

Nightingale, what kind of research did you study? And how did you get help from spirits?
Nightingale (145 posts)
9 years ago (2015-05-07)
When I first began to develop mine they came mainly as violent and painful visions. Honestly I felt like a helpless freak once I figured out that all of this was real. Once I did a little research, and with help from some ghosts, friends of mine, I was able to accept it and move forward.
The vivid dreams occur frequently for me, but I have found they back off sometimes. Recording patterns will likely become possible. The energy control that comes from meditation helps with everything.
PumpkinPrincessPayton (1 stories) (6 posts)
9 years ago (2015-05-07)
You won't lose control if you learn to properly use it. Mediate on your abilities and practice.

I know your grandmother is with you because I'm a psychic medium. She came to see me, because she has something she's trying to tell you. I haven't tapped into what it is yet but I'm trying.
John2110 (1 stories) (9 posts)
9 years ago (2015-05-07)
Dear pumpinprincesspayton, I have no fear of these abilities, I was just afraid that it was due to me losing my mind why I felt like this. My only fear is that I can't control what it is inside, as I stated before, it feels like there's a lot of power and energy inside and I don't know if I could control it. I've been told my grandmother is around me, how did you know this if you don't mind me asking?

Dear nightingale, I don't normally feel threatened anymore when I feel a presence, when it happens now, I feel like I have control. How did you feel when you started to develop your abilities? My dreams are extremely vivid but I struggle to remember them, just that I should know something that appeared in it.
Nightingale (145 posts)
9 years ago (2015-05-07)
Hello John,
You are not alone in these abilities and experiences. You are able to feel others' emotions, etc. Which makes you most likely an empath.
Regular meditation can help you focus your energy and gain control. If you find yourself able to influence the physical world with your mind, I recommend beginning with something small and harmless. You can exhaust your energy. Meditation will help you grow stronger. Because you feel a connection with nature, doing this somewhere you feel the connection most strongly may amplify the effects. You can think, listen to music, or meditate upon a sight, place, or feeling. Have patience with it because it can take time to master.
You may be sensitive to spirits around you. I would only be concerned about the choking situation. Try to become aware of the ghosts around you just as you are the physical beings. You may be able to feel who they are and their intentions, or even be able to communicate.
If you feel threatened again, as by the spirit who choked you, it will help you to be able to set up mental barriers. Meditation will help you gain control and you should be able to block out certain ghosts or communicate, depending on your judgement.
Many people, myself included, develop their abilities during their teenage years.
If you do begin to remember your dreams or have visions, writing them down in a calendar or journal can be helpful.
I fully agree with PumpkinPrincessPayton. It can be scary, but try to embrace your abilities as a part of who you are.
Trust your instincts,
PumpkinPrincessPayton (1 stories) (6 posts)
9 years ago (2015-05-07)
Your abilities are budding. You need to let go of your fear and let them out. Be at peace with yourself and they will come forth. You have a grandmother figure trying to speak to you as well. You're not crazy, I promise.

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