I am really confused these days, I have several feelings it's like so many voices in my head I can't hear my heart's voice or my intuition, it's like the line is so busy and everyone is talking (I mean thoughts) and some thoughts are really like paradox to each other one moment it's like "Hey Life is awesome I do whatever I can to enjoy my life" and another day is like "what the point of living I don't have enough energy to do something for myself" so I decided to look for guidance and I tried online Tarot readings but, since I read somewhere that symbol cards are really powerful I tried a Symbol card reading... The result was absolutely amazing but there was a problem, the symbol on card's meaning was somewhat confusing for me I really couldn't make any sense out of them I was amazed by how accurate it was by reading the parts I understood but some sentence don't make any sense to me in the description I know this is not an exciting physic story I do apologize for that I just need help from people who will understand me and they won't call me delusional or superstitious, some people think I am crazy and so depressed that I turned to these kind of things but deep down I know I can find my answer but God why I can't understand the symbol cards.
Here is my reading please help if you can, Thank you and God bless you.
You are a prisoner of your own feelings of worthlessness deep down inside. This under-estimation of yourself (the words "I don't like myself) must be allowed to come to the surface. It's no longer enough to use other people's labels or seek their attention in regard to whether they still like you or can be won over (will go to bed with you).
The Way Through the Problem
The King's two children
Disillusion awaits you on the path ahead. Your longing for love and partnership is just a carrot before the (donkey's) nose which is meant to motivate you and bring growth. If you don't burst the bubble yourself, you will become lost in illusion.
The Ailing King
You have learned to be patient in the sense of the word's original sense "patientia": forbearance of exigencies, enduring trivialities and ordinariness in everyday life.
The Garden of Spirits
You have drifted unwittingly into a reverie. You flee from reality by waiting for your dream to be realized. These kinds of dreams are like a drug, alienating you all the more from the world and those you find difficult to leave. They have lulled you into a false sense of reality. Above all else, they makes you passive.