I've NEVER talked about myself like this before... But last night I had a very unique lucid dream. Its still so fresh in my mind I needed to share my experience with it! I never dream of people I know, I dream of complete strangers or mainly people I "know" of (like a beloved role model or something) - or have connected with emotionally in my mind - I strongly believe in my past lives because its the only answer I have for the ways I feel - its the only reasonable answer. I do not believe I have ever connected strongly and obviously enough for me to distinguish a possible spirit guide. Although the people I feel strongly connected to from past lives feel like they are my spirit guides. I have visions relating to them being dead and their soul is with me - even if they are not dead in real life. Although I feel EXTREMELY connected to the ones who are dead. It's sad reality of this life.
1) I also regularly experience weird very quick attacks on my mental state. Ill be thinking or doing ANYTHING and my mind will alter and make things severely wrong. Don't think i'm crazy! I think its some weird type of anxiety. Like ill see an elderly women crossing the street and then my mind flicks to her being run over in the middle of the cross walk. Or - sometimes they are related to me - I will imagine myself driving with my family and just losing control and totalling the car. Believe me I don't like the idea of harming people - that's not what its about - its about the fact that for me, death is everywhere - whether I am imaging myself or others in a situation, it is like a reenactment of the things that have happened before and the places or ways people have died. These type of fast visions can occur up to 5 times a day very randomly.
2) I've always felt in tune with death - I have never been one to feel in tune with angels, I am always communicating with souls or spirits in my house - at night if I go down stairs for water and I walk back up the stairs I find myself acting like a looney swearing at the "people" behind me, like "oh no you don't, leave me alone, I am too tired for this sh**!" this only starts when I see flickers and movements in the pitch black - the best way I can describe it is like a black velvet sheet rippling - and the spirits aren't specified bad or good, but for the most part I know they are not good because why would they be lurking around me and bothering me if they know I don't like it" Not to mention I ALWAYS have the feeling of "i will talk to you next time" I push it off over and over and over again because deep down I'm too afraid to confront them. I shut it off like a faucet. I'm afraid it will be too much for me and I'm not strong enough.
3) I predict death of my family members and I can always make the relation between when someone dies, another is born. Example: my grandmother audrey, was having issues for a long time but she held in there for YEARS, and it was a normal October night when I took a shower before school the next morning and in the middle of the shower I just said to myself "grandmas going to die or is dead I feel something" that was that. If it wasn't true then it wasn't true I thought. But I got out of the shower and my mother called me into her room "can I talk to you?... Dad got an emergency call from the care centre, grandma died before he got there, hes coming home now."
4) I can remember a dream I had VIVIDLY when I was about 5 years old - and the dream has haunted me through my years - not haunted since it was more of a spiritual religious higher being dream. I have always had a weird connection to first nations people and in the dream I was watching my self at this weird centre with my father dropping me off for like a kids birthday party, and there where these almost fake - like a display in a department store - figures of a bunch of first nations people on top of this fake grass covered hill built on the side of this gymnasium. I remember trying to reach them and they were kind to me - I knew they had souls but to others they were a display - ANYWAY, YEARS later I had a thought / vision that popped into my head at the most random time ever. I was driving at Christmas going Christmas light viewing and a flash took over my mind - I remember the dream after so many years - I was probably 9 or 10 - and a phrase came out of my mind prominently - I know what that dream was about! It was god! Or a god (since I am born a christian but I don't practice the religion) - "that was his way of introducing each other"
The important thing about this occurrence was that I was FIVE and when I awoke and was SO OVERWHELMED I could not explain the spirituality of the way I felt - I have never been to church so as a child I was extremely deprived of my natural tendencies and wants to be in touch with divinity (which I'm still bitter about! Thanks parents!: (( (you should have taken me to church!)
ANYWAYS. YES I KNOW I HAVE NO CLUE EITHER. I do however know a couple things: I know A LOT about my past lives, I am strongly connected to death (in a sort of dominant way - like I'm not scared of it at all and I actually am proud to represent it), and lastly that I have a couple of spiritual dreams
Thanks for listening -if anyone actually is - this whole thing is straight from the heart - and I can't believe I attempted to write any of it down.
IF ANYONE COULD GIVE ME ANY SORT OF INSIGHT BECAUSE YOU GUYS SEEM TO BE SO FRIENDLY AND SMART I WOULD APPRECIATE IT SO VERY MUCH!;)