The main focus of my post is about a new ability I have. I have always been very intuitive and empathetic, but these past few weeks. Nothing like anything I have ever experienced and have changed my views on reality completely.
A few weeks back I began uncovering a lot of emotional trauma from the past with my psychologist and therapist. I have been very focused on self improvement for quite some time, so it came quite naturally. I cried for the first time in years, and I gained a lot of clarity about my family/friends.
Right around this time, things started getting weird. I did the color wheel psycic test on and off for about a week. The last time I did it, I was getting straight high 20s and low 30s. I have pictures of this. In order to achieve this I would say to myself "Some things just can't be explained, let it happen, its pretty cool afterall." Anyway, that may have been an invitation for some spirits, because the next thing you know I get crazy chills all around and I hear my toothbrush move in its little holder. There's simply no way this could have happened on its own. Either way, it wasn't like I thought the spirit was there because of the noise. I felt it. My heart leapt and I felt weird. It felt like something else was going on. I couldn't take it.
Later the next night I feel a warm hand touch my back. It felt like it went into me, and I felt a slight electric sensation through out me. It was unreal, I screamed. It happened, I searched and searched for a logical explanation, there wasn't one. Trust me, I thought very hard about this.
I went to the public library with my buddy Devon earlier that night, or maybe the night before to study. At the library, I could scan people, like jump inside them and get a taste of who they were as a person and how they were feeling. It felt like an invasion of privacy and I thought I felt a dark presence so I stopped.
I also took an online elektrokenises test. Got rated as "amazing". It drained my energy. It was basically this ball drop test where you control which side the ball goes to. It has an equal chance of making a left move or right move each move. I was trying to make them go right. I got 364 to the right and only 86 to the left. The statistical chance of this is 1 in a million. I have pictures of this. The power went out right after in a neighborhood nearby but I\'m not letting myself think I caused that haha. I was completely exhausted after completing the feat, and I tried to do repeat it again unsuccessfully. I think I was too scared to let myself do it again if that makes sense to you guys. Also, I was tired.
This next thing is very hard to explain. This is what I need help with. This is what made me change my view of reality. I think someone would need have gone through it to understand. This ability doesn't come and go, ever since I realized I could do this, I can do it again just by focusing very hard. Sometimes its easier than others. I don't do it at night because I don't want to attract spirits. Spirits scare me.
Anyway, I can merge my energy with others. In doing so, both our energies multiply instead of add, meaning that a very powerful energy is created that we share. If I harness energy from plants or trees before doing this, it is way more powerful. Doing this allows them to be happy. They start acting so warm and kid like. Its really cool, and its great to do when trying to strengthen friendships because its a great way to connect. It frees inhibitions and makes for a very light, us against the world kind of vibe.
My good friend Jeremy and I have both used psychedelics in the past, so this may play into what I'm about to explain. Because, this was way more powerful then ever before. However, we have both been sober for months, and on that day, neither of us had anything funny to eat, we had both gotten sufficient sleep, and we were on our typical after school walk to the gym. The walk is filled with trees, so that may play into it.
I told Jeremy about this new ability and as his usual skeptic self, he said there's no way and he didn't believe. I said, let me try it on you, keep an open mind, and then you decide for yourself. I went over and got some energy from a tree. I don't know where I got that idea from but it certainly worked.
Anyway, I then start merging, and he starts flipping out, saying "how is this possible." I was like "see dude? Isn't this crazy?!" And he was like "No, no, no, no way this can't be happening."
Then, we just sank into it. He started laughing and I saw a new side to him. We talked like never before, both so open and in awe. We both related that we felt euphoric. Many things we experienced were indescribable.
We become spiritual beings. We keep walking along. It felt like dreaming. In fact, at one point I thought that must be the only explanation. Everything was beautiful. Unfortunately, Jeremy's reaction turned south, he forgot who he was until I said his name out loud. When I realized how he was feeling, I reigned back a little bit, and he calmed down. Everything was in crystal clear and it felt like we were on a higher plane. It felt like we were so pure and free. This was in broad daylight, and the rest of the day was filled with coincidences and everyone I came into contact with was happy.
Look, I may sound insane. But I'm not. And Jeremy isn't either, we both get good grades, have normal relationships, hobbies, and have been sober for many months now. Jeremy doesn't like to talk about what happened anymore. It was too much for him, and I don't blame him.
This is real shiat, and I want guidance, not criticism. I am a very logical person, so this has been an incredibly hard thing for me to accept. I only accepted it when I realized denying it only caused me more emotional trauma. What is this called? What do I do? Who can I talk to without being turned away?