Many people have told me that I possess the gift of being an Empath (clair-sentience) and possibly clair-cognizant as well. I barely discovered what being an empath is and as well as learning how to control it. Anyways, i'd say i'm still pretty new at this gift maybe like about a year and a half going on two years that I been possessing it. I've pretty much stopped watching t.v. And the news completely because it has become almost unbearable to watch & usually I won't read into tragedy because it's all downhill from there. But this time it felt definitely strange and something I've never experienced as an empath until now. One day, me and my mother in law were watching old music videos on YouTube back from when headbangers ball would constantly play awesome music videos; and so my mother in law decided to play the video of "Jeremy" by pearl jam because she felt that she needed to show me this video since i'm going into the field of psychology;keep in mind that I had never seen the video because obviously I wasn't born yet and this video had first came out in 1991. I had only heard the song back when I was a little girl in the late 90's early 2000's (which I couldn't remember at the time). I had been informed by my mother in law that that song was in fact based on a real life boy named Jeremy about a tragedy that occurred in Dallas back in the 90's about a teenager who committed suicide in front of his classmates (I was born 5 years after his death); if you recall that I mentioned above that I DO NOT like looking into tragedies like that for the fact that I start becoming severely devastated and sometimes I even become depressed so I decided I wasn't going to look into this boy's tragic story, let alone watch a sad a** video about what led to his untimely death. I was even trying to avoid paying attention to the video at all costs due to the sensitivity of that M.V. And surely enough I got through the night forgetting about it all. Basically my slate was wiped clean that night I went to bed) It wasn't until the next morning when I was getting ready for work in the restroom thinking about what things I needed to do that day when all of a sudden I started humming the melody to the song "jeremy" which is weird because it came out of nowhere and I obviously wasn't thinking about music then and there. I shrug it off and continued humming to it when suddenly I got hit with this crazy idea that I had to research Jeremy and why he killed himself in front of 30 kids in his English class. So I said "screw it" and googled the boy's picture and let me tell you... When I looked at his picture I was immediately overcome with extreme sadness and just really heavy emotions coming from the picture of this boy. I began to sob for him hysterically as I looked into his eyes. I still didn't understand why I was overcome by such really strong heavy emotions coming from the same one and only picture of him that's been swimming through the internet since he died (which is his yearbook pic of '91) in the internet. It feels quite haunting at the same time. I became obsessed with researching about him that by the end of the day I had memorized his entire life and the more I researched his life then the more I ended up becoming very depressed and guilty. His death was affecting me very severely as if I had known him and lost him as a friend (which is impossible because I never met this boy in my life) I would cry and pray for him almost everyday as if I was grieving a friend or husband. These emotions and feelings were so intense, it was making me go crazy. It's been a 1 month and a half that I found out about him and I think about this boy every single day when I wake up and when I go to sleep. He just really left a toll on me. Honestly this experience has never happened to me before with anyone or their pictures, especially like this. Does it have to do with me being an empath? What is this that i'm feeling? Am I the only one who this has happened to? Forgive me if I went astray with my grammar and punctuation. I just needed to ask about this. I hope no one thinks i'm a freak or a basket-case.
P.s. I've never had a dream where a dead person comes out maybe only one time in my life when I saw my deceased uncle in my dreams but I was a little girl then. And this last time it was Jeremy who came out in my dream but I was awoken, so I didn't get a chance to speak to him.: (I'll admit that that made me really sad because I really wanted to communicate with him but he never came out in my dreams again.
For example, decades ago, I had people's names come to mind, not knowing who they were. Often. Every day. I wondered why...
I later discovered one was a local politician. Another was a news broadcaster.
I had no clue why these people were persisting in my mind.
I reflected on it, and talked to God about it, and the sense that I got was that they needed me to support their well-being.
That felt right. So I would just "carry them in my heart" with love and concern, and prayer, and a sense of being connected, sometimes for weeks or months...
I was curious regarding what the person's concern or issue was, but realized I had to let go of that. I might never know... And my "assignment", so to speak, was to support someone who MIGHT not have another person supporting them...
I learned, years later, that the broadcaster had dealt with breast cancer, and is now doing well. Was the time when I felt the strong sense to carry her in my heart the time when she learned of the cancer and had treatment?
No clue. Maybe.
I do feel a connection to her now, after all that time of carrying her like a baby within me... She will never know of me, but that is OK...
Perhaps you were led to learn of Jeremy because he is in spiritual distress due to his suicide, and he is suffering from the guilt and pain that arose from that, in him and his family and friends...
Just a guess. Your empathic gift will tell you more than I can.
I would suggest that a constructive thing to do with your powerful empathic gift is to "carry him in your heart" in a calm way, with prayers, blessings or focused intentions for well-being, peace, and release from distress -- whatever is needed for healing in this situation -- in love, care and concern.
I often tell God, "I have no clue WHY You have put this person in my heart. I don't know what they need... But YOU know. So You take my love and care and use it for their benefit, however that needs to happen."
I feel a load come off me, a sense of creative partnering and supportive connecting, with God and other people.
I do think that the empathic gift is a potent manifestation of a deep connectedness to other people... And an invitation to relate to the mysterious deep Self and the Transcendent in our own consciousness.
My long experience has shown me that deep connectedness, in love, can engage another person's deep self for profound healing.
I am 68 years old.
I started having empathic experiences when I was a child, but I did not understand them. I now realize that I was connecting to my mother's unexpressed thoughts and emotions. I experienced them as in me... But I knew they were not my own.
Later, as a young adult, friends would come to mind whom I had not seen for a long time, and they would become a constant presence in my mind...
I did not know what to do with that. I felt I should call them, but it seemed weird to tell them I was calling because they were haunting me...
I finally found a way -- I would call, and say, "Hi, we haven't been in touch in a long time, but you have been on my mind. How are you doing?"
Inevitably, I would hear of serious concerns about illness, grief, family problems, etc.
In later years, with people who were close friends, I would sometimes get mental images of them, with a situational context and sense of concern.
I would later ask them what was happening at that time, and they would tell me, not only helping me to validate my experience but also deepening the bonds of our friendship, as they learned of my sensing their concerns in a mysterious way...
I discovered that my inner impressions had purpose -- to connect with and support people who often felt they had no one who cared about their needs, or had no one to talk to, or were very private... But they were open, if I asked...
And I was being "nudged" to ask.
During the past 20 years I have had precognitive experiences about disasters.
I have heard noises that did not connect to what was happening in my immediate environment -- bagpipes playing Amazing Grace and bugles playing Taps... A man saying "C'est terrible!" in French... Rocks that seemed to be tumbling against my house...
I have had no clue what these weird experiences have meant, until the disasters happened and I suddenly linked what I had experienced days or weeks before with what was taking place in real time -- the funeral services after 9/11... The big earthquake in Haiti (I saw a Haitian man on TV saying "C'est terrible!" before I understood, on that one), and an earthquake and landslide in Italy...
Then I was angry and frustrated.
On some level I had KNOWN about these, yet I could do nothing to prevent the suffering...
WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE of these strange experiences happening to me?
After much inner wrangling with this, I concluded that my purpose was to carry the people in the disaster in my heart. To focus my love and concern on them, and healing and recovery.
If I have weird experiences that I cannot connect to my immediate environment, should I start focusing my love and healing in advance? Would that help?
It has taken much time and many experiences to figure at least some of all this out.
I must be a slow learner. I have had no mentor to teach me.
Whatever your own spiritual beliefs about God are, if any, I hope you believe that there is a Living, Loving Source that connects us all and can direct you as you practice your gift.
I think refining our gifts is the work of a lifetime and is never done.
Remember you are always connected to others and are never alone.
There is a wonderful, creative purpose in your gift. Use it lovingly and constructively.
I hope this has been of some help.
Love and blessings to you. ❤