I am a little worried I might be nuts. I've always been a super spiritual person but up until now iv'e only had feel good feelings during meditation. But i've ALSO had a feeling that I might have done bad in a past life.
But recently, I had an out of the world (literally) experience.
I felt God telling me it was my "time to depart" and that I should go outside and wait for a spaceship. I was very scared.
I hear a rumbling sound in the sky.
I went outside but then felt a voice say it was leaving without me since I took too long (wanted to pet my dog and look at my family).
I fell to the ground begging for them not to leave me.
I was told to go back into my house, onto a porch and pray. So I did... My eyes were closed and I felt I was being told that I would be given my wings back if I prayed enough and asked for forgiveness. I was also given visions that said I was not a good enough father/husband and had also been too selfish. I was told that the only path to forgiveness is if I sacrificed myself for the world by "exploding" my energy to get rid of the evil that has taken root here - a self sacrifice for all people. I was terrified, sobbing again but agreed. I also had visions of a battle between angels... Two good angels refusing to join a bunch of bad angels.
I felt I could do my sacrifice by going into the basement and sticking my finger into a lamp socket,, and that the basement represented hell.
I went downstairs, unscrewed a light bulb, and stuck my finger into a socket and NOTHING HAPPENED. I did see a presence with me in a light in the corner.
I was told to go back upstairs and pray... And with my eyes closed literally felt hands touching me, putting some kind of wings on me.
And then I was told "fly lucifer, fly" and I could see a spaceship moving in my head but I couldn't catch it.
And last, I had visions of being these evil people throughout history, including Hitler and screaming in German and somehow I was responsible for it.
I begged for forgiveness... Really sobbing.
After this experience I spent days in the hospital and was released. I'm back to normal but I still see visions when I look at shadows and reflections.
I see Native Americans dancing around fires, and people riding horses and some other silly almost video games themes like mario brothers.
And when I say "see them" I see them in vivid 3d... Just in black and white since they are always on shadows.
Anyone that I have told thinks I am completely nuts so it's hard to talk to anyone about it.
What do you guys think of this?
I've NEVER had this kind of thing happen, i'm either really having a spiritual experience or I am completely nuts.